Tormented Redemption
by TWISTEDART
Summary: [TRIGGER WARNING: Drug ABUSE]This is a DACEY fic. IN that it ends Dacey. Jo and Danny will be dating at beginning of fic for those that don't want to read that type story. It is NOT Janny though. Takes place approximately one to two weeks after season 1 finale of Twisted. There will be a subtle (or not subtle) , depends on how one views it, connection with religious connotations.
1. Chapter 1

Drip...drip….drip...drip…

The slow sound of dripping water caused Danny to pull a pillow over his head. Usually, the sound of peppering rain eased him into a state of sleep. However, tonight it only beat against his eardrum causing him to have a headache. How could a simple drop of water be so loud inside his safe secure bedroom when the thunderstorm had raged outside?

He supposed it was due to the dream that his senses were heightened enough to let the drops of water against his gutter aggravate him so much.

Danny had the blasted dream again only hours before. The dream that at one time he had lived to have now became his nightmare. The dream tormented him with jeering of the things he could not have due to ignorance and self preservation but mostly due to unworthiness.

His fingers clutched around his pillow so tightly that his knuckles whitened. The cocoon , that he was desperately trying to make around his head with the feather filled rectangle, was doing no good. He still heard the metal pinging with the last droplets of a done passed storm.

Danny closed his eyes tightly trying desperately to rid himself of the sound of the droplets. For some odd reason that sound was a reminder of his personal torment that barraged him daily. Danny tried to think of his current girlfriend's face. He tried to desire touching her peachy cream colored skin. However, when he envisioned his fingers caressing a female body, they scraped across ebony skin. Danny cursed himself for it.

His first kiss with his girlfriend, Jo, hadn't even elicited desire. Danny thought perhaps it was her innocence of not knowing how to kiss. There was no softness of lips but a bombardment of an open mouth with a forced tongue. Danny gagged. Literally, he gagged. However, Jo thought the kiss was magical. After that, Danny tried his best not to endure too many of her magical kisses.

When he found out that Jo had kissed more boys than Lacey, he was shocked. Only three boys had endured her kisses before him. Lacey had kissed only Archie and Danny. But Jo had kissed four. In what world would such a thing happen but in Danny's Twisted world? Poor Rico was one of them. Danny was sure the boy was scarred for life thinking that is how kisses were supposed to be. Danny hoped that Andie had rid Rico of the memory of that kiss. Then there was Tyler. Danny was sure that Tyler wasn't interested in kissing but what it would lead to. With Josephine Marie Masterson, it did lead to that quickly. Sex was kind of the goal for most teen boys. But in Danny's case with Jo, never. Eww. He thought.

Then there was Charlie. Charlie, Danny would have to excuse that boy. He had been in juvie for over a year. Any female's kisses would be taken by most boys. Which was also a juxtaposition for Danny. He was rather picky who he'd kiss first after juvie. That plan didn't disappoint Danny either. Lacey Porter was well worth the pursuit and the wait. Too bad Charlie ended up being Danny's and Jo's half brother and crazy. Maybe he'd have kept Jo happy so Danny didn't have to.

Danny rolled around again trying to find a comfortable position to acquire much needed sleep. He hadn't slept well since his father died at his hands no less. Danny's insomnia only escalated when he started dating Jo. With dating Jo, at least both girls would be happy. That was his main goal after all. To make Jo and Lacey happy.

Lacey deserved much more than he was or he would ever be. She had even reminded him prom night that she had pulled herself out of the nightmare he had thrown her into five years earlier. She would not let him drag her back down. Yet, he selfishly thought he could be good enough for her.

When getting out of juvie, Danny pursued her with vigor. He needed her from the moment he saw her again. Danny knew that was something that plagued him from that one second of seeing Lacey Porter. He got her. He lost her. Then he was with her again only to lose her again.

The night she told him that _It had always been Jo_ rung true in his ears. Not the way Lacey thought. Jo was never the one he loved. Yet, Jo was the one that he knew he deserved. Lacey was far too good for the likes of him. Jo had proven to be as equally damaged as he was. Jo was self centered and self involved. She'd sacrifice nothing for anyone unlike Lacey, who continually put others before herself.

Many would argue that wasn't true due to Lacey hiding Danny and her relationship. However, Danny knew that was for him and her friends. Lacey knew he'd be tortured more than he already was by her 'In Crowd'. She knew that her friends would hurt thinking Lacey was dating their friend's killer. Her parents would flip out too. They were already going through so much. They didn't need to add Lacey dating Danny on the list of what to blame the other for. So as much as others thought Lacey was being selfish hiding Danny's and her romance, she was actually thinking of others more than herself.

The cold harsh fact that Danny faced that night was that Lacey would be better off without him. Lacey could be the queen once more without Jo and Danny miring her good name.

Once again, Danny's thoughts went back to the blasted dream. One would think that Danny would enjoy the reoccurring dream. However, the dream was more of a taunt to Danny. The dream was not a made up fantasy but a memory of when things felt right with the world. The dream was a reminder that Danny was happy at one time. Now, the dream was securing the fact in Danny's heart that he was not afforded happiness.

Danny's mind had always seemed much older than he was in years. He'd have to thank his Daddy dearest for the time taken from his youth which catapulted Danny into manhood. A boy couldn't exactly stay a boy in prison. Even if that prison was for those under the age of eighteen. Fighting to survive was much more important than allowing adolescence be too much of a factor. Yes. Youth wasn't a gift to Danny.

He had lost youth when he was locked away like an animal for a crime. A crime that he committed but claimed his father did. Danny still cursed at the fact he told Lacey and Jo a lie so that their lives would be far less dramatic than they had lived until that point. The idea came to him when he was on the run again. After all, his cell mate, Charlie McBride, had believed him. Ironically, that was a good thing considering Charlie was there to kill him for the murder of Tara Desai.

It was so easy to convince Charlie of his innocence. Danny remembered the satisfaction of having Charlie believe the lie. However, it wasn't as satisfying when he told the girls his falsified story. However, it was worth it to see Lacey's face brighten up at the story. Danny sighed at the memory of that perfect smile formed on her beautiful face.

Danny rolled over again flailing his arms in frustration. He cursed the pinging of the raindrops out loud this time. However, this time there was a reply from his bedroom door opening.

"Does your mother know you use language like that, step bro?" Whitney leaned against the door frame in a seductive pose. "Trouble sleeping? Maybe I can help?"

She wore only a small tank top and booty cut cotton shorts. Her goal was simple. Seduce the gorgeous boy, who had millions to spare. Lacey was no longer a threat as she was at first. Danny was with Jo. Whitney wanted to mock Danny for his choices. Lacey was the one to try to aspire to. Jo was more the type to leave behind.

Danny was a sixteen year old boy. Therefore, it was natural for him to notice Whitney's attire or lack thereof. However, this girl was confusing. One minute she was flirting with Lacey, the next she was standing in his room sleazily making suggestive comments.

"I'm fine, Whitney." Danny leaned up on his elbows as he allowed his eyes to roam up and down Whitney's body. "Shut the door on your way out."

Whitney ignored him as she strutted over to Danny's bed. She slinked down to sit on the edge of the bed. "Come on now, Danny. I wasn't offering what you think, silly boy. I know you got the love of your life in Jo."

Danny groaned and spoke without thinking. "Jo is far from the love of my life."

"Oh do tell." Whitney teased as she fiddled with something in her hand. Seducing Danny was far too much work. She'd go with plan number 2 or 3. Whitney had lost count at this point. "Seriously, Danny. Lacey thinks so."

"Lacey doesn't know me at all." Danny's eyes traveled to Whitney's hand. Her slender fingers ran across the objects in her palm. "What did you have in mind to make me sleep? And not sex as you say."

Whitney chucked arrogantly. "Oh Danny. I'd prefer Lacey to you any day. Although I admit, I'd still wouldn't mind a tumble in the hay with you, I'm not ignorant enough not to know that you'd prefer Lacey in that capacity. Unlike, Jo Masterson I refuse to be sloppy seconds."

Danny rolled his eyes at Whitney's words. Why was it so obvious to everyone but Lacey and Jo who he preferred as his girlfriend thus who he wanted to be entangled with in his sheets?

"Just answer me, Whitney."

The glint in Whitney's eyes flickered as the dim lighting from the hallway hit them. She held out her hand. "Take these. You'll forget that Jo Masterson exists. You'll also forget about your daddy, your stupidity with Lacey and…" Whitney chuckled as she watched Danny stare at the two pills resting in her palms. She leaned very close as she whispered in Danny's ear. "You'll even forget your name."

Danny grabbed the two pills quickly before he thought this whole thing through. He didn't want to think about anything but sleep. He shoved the capsules into his mouth and swallowed. "All I want is sleep."

"Yeah. You'll get that." Whitney stood up and began to walk out of Danny's room. She looked back over her shoulder with a wicked grin. "Have sweet dreams, Danny."

Somewhere between sleep deprived and numbness, Danny laid staring at his ceiling. The room seemed to be floating away with him in it. It felt strange yet welcome. Since he was eleven years old, his life had not been worth living with the exception of Lacey and their short lived romance. How long had it lasted? Approximately a week and a half first go round. Then four days the second. All the wasted potential that he had with her was gone in a split second with stupid decisions of keeping secrets and telling lies.

This time he was dreaming and not having plagued memories haunting him.

"_What color looks best, Danny?" Lacey twirled around in front of him in a teal blue sundress. "I can try on the other one again."_

_"No." He smiled as he peered at her. "You look gorgeous in anything. But I like how that looks against your dark skin."_

"_Okay." Lacey grinned allowing her dimples to become prevalent. "I'll have to get a bikini to match."_

Danny twisted on his bed as his body warmed up at the dream he was falling into. "My Lace."

He whispered into the nothingness of the air. "My sweet beautiful, Lace."

Whitney walked by Danny's bedroom hearing his utterance. She could tell the drug was working its effects on him. Wouldn't her daddy be so proud? She'd have to let Jack know that Danny took the little red pills without much of a fuss. Actually, there was no fuss at all. The boy really was desperate to escape reality. Whitney almost felt sorry for him. _Almost._

She walked into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of mineral water. Karen greeted her with a smile before retiring to bed. Jack watched Karen leave the room before addressing Whitney.

"So. How did it go?" Jack chucked mischievously noticing the satisfied grin on his daughter's face.

"Easier than I thought." Whitney took a long sip of water before adding maliciously. " Who knew that Danny Desai would be easily made into a drug addict. I think he'll be hooked in no time." She peered over the rim of her water glass. "It is actually easy to want relief any way you can get it when you're tormented."


	2. Chapter 2

The sound of breaking glass, the clicking of the large clock in the corner of the room, the loudness of birds chirping outside; all of these caused Danny's head to explode in severe pain.

"Are you okay, Danny?" Karen placed her hand on Danny's forehead. "You don't have a fever." Danny blinked as he stared at her. "I'll clean up the glass. Are you okay?" She asked again. "You're being clumsy."

Danny stared down at the shards of glass laying on the floor. He simply wanted a drink of water but when he picked up the glass, his fingers felt thick as they clasp the glass. His grip loosened unknown to him allowing the glass to fall from his hand. His thirst was more than usual. His tongue felt thick and his mind was foggy.

"Sorry." He finally answered as he shook out of his haze. What had Whitney given him? He couldn't really complain though. He did receive reprieve from his life for a few hours by having much needed sleep.

"It's okay." Karen noticed Danny's eyes red brimmed. He looked exhausted. The past couple of weeks had reeked havoc on his life. "Are you hungry?"

Danny started to say yes. However, he realized he wasn't hungry at all. Instead, he felt nauseous. Maybe he was coming down with a stomach bug or something. "Can I stay home? I'm not feeling too well. I think I may be coming down with a stomach virus."

"I don't know, Danny." Karen crossed her arms over her chest. "Jack and I are supposed to go to New York today. He wants to do something special." She glanced at her son with concern evident. "I'll cancel our plans. I'm not sure about leaving you alone if you're sick."

Danny swallowed trying to make the dryness dissipate from his mouth. "I'll just go. I'll make it. Maybe if I eat a piece of toast."

"Are you sure?" Karen placed a piece of toast in the toaster. "If you're sick, I don't care to stay home and take care of you."

"I'm sure." Danny half smiled feeling his stomach tighten due to hunger pains coupled with nausea.

Danny picked up his book bag and draped it over his shoulder as he took a piece of toast in his hand. He headed out the door. He decided to walk rather than drive as he felt slightly dizzy. Whitney rushed to catch up to him.

"I was going to ask for a ride but I guess we're walking." Whitney grinned as she saddled up beside Danny. "Are you stopping by to pick up the girlfriend?"

The look on Danny's face told Whitney all she needed to know. Jo may be Danny's girlfriend but he was anything but excited about that. He never answered as they continued their journey towards the school.

"Why aren't you riding with Lacey?" Danny finally broke the silence. "Aren't you two best buds or something?"

"No." Whitney grimaced at having to answer about Lacey so soon. "Although, Lacey is quite the kisser."

Danny halted in his tracks. He gripped the strap on his bookbag as he deadpanned Whitney. "Excuse me?"

There was more than of a hint of shock and animosity in Danny's tone. Whitney enjoyed the reaction she garnished from him. After all, reactions were what she lived for especially shocked and appalled reactions.

"Don't worry, step bro." Whitney tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder. "Lacey wasn't sure she liked the kiss. But she wasn't sure she didn't. Basically, she is still hung up on you. But you prefer tacky blondes though. I mean really. Jo over Lacey? Are you on drugs?" Whitney laughed at her sardonic statement.

If her plan was successful, Danny soon would be. Then the boy would conveniently overdose. Or at least made to look like he did. Karen would get the money and her daddy would be Karen's husband. At least, Jack figured his proposal today would be answered with a yes.

Danny ignored her comment about Jo as he started walking again. "You shouldn't take advantage of her while she's vulnerable." Danny raked his hand through his hair. "Lacey is a great person. Don't mess with her. Okay?"

"Don't worry, Johnny Depp." Whitney took a couple quick strides to catch up with Danny. "Lacey no longer wants to be my friend. She can't trust me." Whitney held up her hand before Danny could question her. "Don't ask. But she is rather intuitive. Don't you agree?"

Danny smirked thinking about Lacey being intuitive especially when it came to him. She always knew when he was being less than truthful with the exception of his lie about his dad killing Tara. Although it was only a half lie, his father did beat Tara badly before he forced the rope into Danny's hand and begged him to pull. Danny remembered closing his eyes tightly as he pulled the red jump rope at his father's urging. The sound of Tara's gurgling would forever torture him. Danny blinked quickly realizing now was not the time to think of Tara's demise. He needed to move on from that torturous nightmare.

"Here comes your stalker." Whitney rolled her eyes as Jo approached. "Isn't her house the other way to school?"

Danny peered at Whitney before shaking his head. "She's my girlfriend, Whitney."

"I'm sorry." Whitney teased as Jo bounced up with a grin plastered on her face. "Hey, Jo. Isn't your house the opposite direction?"

"I thought Danny my have wanted to give me a ride." Jo continued her cheesy smile as she took Danny's hand forcing it into hers. "But it is great we're walking. We can spend more time together this way." She tried to act flirty by jutting out her lip in a pout. Jo had deemed that look sexy for some odd reason. "You didn't call, text, or stop by this weekend."

"Wouldn't the case be he'd stop if he wanted to give you a ride?" Whitney quipped with a mischievous grin.

Danny ignored Whitney's jeering of Jo by answering Jo's question. "I was out of it most of the weekend. Sleeping after all the nights that I've lost sleep."

Whitney chuckled under her breath at Danny's lie. The boy hadn't been sleeping at all. Thus, her easy manipulation of him to take the drugs last night. She whispered under her breath again for Danny to hear only. "Lying much. Or Jo Obsessive Much."

Danny coughed trying not to laugh out loud at Whitney's charades. However, he had to admit that Whitney's secret jeers at Jo were making him forget the very sweaty palm of said girl. The drenched wet palm that caused his own palm to feel clammy as she grasped to his hand. Danny wondered to himself if this is what pubescent holding of hands felt like. He had foregone those awkward years in juvie. He had came out of juvie with voice changed, body heading towards manhood, and non sweaty hands. Lacey's hand hold was sensuously soft. The only time sweat accumulated between his and Lacey's skin was during the few times that their relationship had crossed the line into sexual endeavors.

Jo's voice cut through his thoughts of Lacey and him on their last intimate time together. It was sometime before he told her about the necklace and sometime after the sex video was made. He had gone to his house with Lacey to get clothes to stay with the Mastersons due to his mother's fake confession about killing Regina. They ended up having a quickie before he packed his clothes and headed over to Chief Mastersons.

"Did you hear me?" Jo bounced in front of Danny still gripping his hand tightly. "Mom and Dad are going to check out where they are keeping Charlie. It is a meeting with parents about visiting day and so on. Mom said she'll let your mom know when to go. I said you probably don't want to…"

"I do want to see Charlie. He's my brother." Danny interrupted Jo's rant.

"Well, he's mine too. But I don't know why Mom and you insist on seeing him." Jo pulled her hand away from Danny's angrily. It was supposed to punish him but instead, Danny was relieved by the removal of Jo's hand from his. "He did hold a knife to my throat."

"Didn't he also have his tongue down your throat?" Whitney couldn't resist the jab at Jo. For some reason, Whitney decided she didn't have to pretend with this one. It was her goal to not be nice or cordial to anyone that was a non factor in her dad's and her plans.

"Whitney?" Danny scolded. Then he turned to Jo. "He has problems, Jo. You have no idea how it was to be raised how he was. Trust me. Tara wasn't a good person to me no less to someone she was hiding for my dad's illicit affair with your mom."

Jo stopped walking. She crossed her arms defiantly over her chest. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT FEELS TO HAVE A KNIFE TO YOUR NECK!"

Her voice was loud and full of the victim persona that Jo loved to wallow in. Danny pushed his hand through his flowing hair. He gritted his teeth as he spoke in an angry tone.

"Really, Jo? You have no idea what kind of violence I've endured in my lifetime or what Charlie has faced." Danny closed his eyes trying to calm down. He opened them to look at Jo again. His voice was more nonchalant than before. "If you didn't want me to go see Charlie, why did you bring it up?"

Jo's face lit up now that the conversation was back to her goal. She slid her hand back into Danny's hand. "We'll have the house to ourselves."

Whitney's eyes darted to Danny's. If she didn't know better, she'd swear the boy was going to pass out or puke. Or both. He swallowed nervously.

"I ..well….I..." he stuttered trying to think of an excuse. Danny was never at a loss for words before. He composed himself. He'd think of something later. "Do you want to eat at _Johnny Cakes_ before?" Danny thought he could feel ill after the meal and head home.

The rest of the walk was filled with Jo's excited chatter and Whitney's rolling of eyes at Jo's excited chatter. It was obvious to Danny and Whitney what Jo had in mind for Danny that evening. But it was also obvious, except to Jo, that Danny planned to have nothing to do with Jo's plans.

Without warning, Danny jerked his hand from Jo's hand. Jo started to ask what the deal was until she followed the direction in which Danny's eyes were staring. Jo wanted to scream but she held her breath keeping herself in check. Danny's eyes were connected to none other than Lacey's eyes.

Danny's voice came out in a lower octave when he spoke. "Hey, Lace."


	3. Chapter 3

_**"It takes away a lot of the thrill of killing yourself when people are looking for you and you're disappointing them, because it is a lot of fun when you're out there killing yourself."**_

―Anthony Kiedis,_Scar Tissue_

That quote was one that Whitney had read when flipping through a generic type music magazine, which was a hack job trying to copy _Rolling Stones_. That quote was the same quote that inspired her to tell her dad about a way to rid the world of the burdensome Danny Desai. Afterall, the boy seemed to be a non stop disappointment to all around him with the exception of Jo Masterson. Whitney chuckled at the gullible little puppy dog, who Danny could make jump to his every whim.

Sadly, although that fact was true, it was Danny who seemed to be bogged down with having to please Jo even if it was an artificial or dishonest way of pleasing her. He feigned interest as he felt Jo served better as an unwanted girlfriend than his unwanted loneliness served him. At least someone was happy in Danny's life was his thought despite his misery.

The misery and feigning to be happy with his existence was even more pallable when faced with even a glimpse of Lacey Porter. Therefore, when his breath came out huskily when he greeted Lacey, Whitney and Jo took note.

Lacey's smile displayed on her face as she happily greeted Danny. Lacey always knew how to build up her walls so no one could see inside. She had seen Jo's and Danny's hands being held together before Danny jerked away from Jo. Lacey supposed it was to save her feelings and not to throw their relationship in her face. Lacey couldn't be more wrong.

The only feeling Danny was feeling lately about Jo's and his relationship was shame. Due to trying to force a romantic relationship, Danny was beginning to see the real Jo. He no longer adored her or thought she was wonderful as he did in the past. It was much easier seeing Jo that way when she felt like his sibling. That feeling was dissipating as well as the need to be Jo's friend. With the new found romance came a newfound resentment towards Jo from Danny.

Lacey's next movement caught the three by surprise. Lacey threw her arms around Jo in a friendly embrace.

"Are you okay?" Lacey's voice was laced with concern for Jo. After all, the girl had a knife to her throat not long ago. Not to ignore the fact that the affair between Vikram and Tess had came out during the confrontation about Charlie. Lacey had experienced having parents with a strained marriage. Lacey pushed Jo back still holding to her shoulders. "I've tried to call but you're probably not feeling up to talking."

"Danny and I have been busy lately." Despite Lacey being a genuine friend showing concern, Jo wanted it known with no uncertain terms that Danny belonged to her. It was then that Jo took Danny's hand back into hers not caring that Lacey may be hurt. As far as Jo was concerned, Lacey had stolen her property in Danny when they had seen each other. She was reclaiming what she felt rightfully belonged to her. Danny tried to remove his hand but Jo only squeezed it tighter.

Lacey desperately tried not to show her hurt but it was evident for a few seconds as the sadness skittered across her face. "Well, I have a Biology quiz to study for." Lacey swallowed as she rubbed Jo's arm. "I'm glad you're okay, Jo."

With those last words, Lacey gave another weak smile before readjusting her book bag. She then put back up her defensive wall as she walked away. Danny jerked his hand from Jo angrily. He shook his head but quickly sprinted after Lacey before Jo could make another remark.

"Lacey, hold up." Danny called after her. "Lacey." Lacey continued to walk in a hurried pace. Danny watched as she darted around a corner trying to avoid him. He knew he should probably leave her alone. However, Danny hated himself for being the source of Lacey's pain. He was compelled to at least talk to her about the current situation the trio found themselves in.

Danny hurriedly made his way around the corner thinking Lacey would be heading towards the library or another destination. Instead he found her leaning against the brick wall of the building trying to compose herself.

"Lace?" Danny touched her face not expecting to see her wet cheeks. Her walls had crumbled. "It's not…"

"It is." Lacey chuckled despite the tears that she wiped away. "I had said it was always her. It is difficult to face. I'll live, Danny. I promise. I'm a big girl."

"Sometimes, all I know how to do is survive, Lace." Danny wasn't sure if she would understand his words.

He wasn't sure he even understood what he was saying. But deep inside, he was dying each second. Danny stepped closer to Lacey out of a desperate need to feel something besides the numbness that had overtaken his soul. He pressed his body into hers pinning her to the brick wall. Lacey's eyes fluttered up to his as her puzzlement etched on her face. However, she didn't question Danny as she started to. She saw something in Danny that frightened her. The fright wasn't for herself but for him. His eyes looked afraid and lonely. The smirk and sparkle had faded into a dullness that Danny never displayed. His passion and longing still held its place momentarily when his eyes captured hers. Lacey would not take that second of living from Danny as his eyes begged her this allowance of breathing again. Therefore, Lacey yielded to Danny's silent request in spite of the fact this would cause herself more pain. She sacrificed for his moment of desperation.

Danny's body melted against Lacey's as his breathing escalated with his touching of her. There wasn't an inch of the front of their bodies that wasn't touching as Danny pressed against Lacey. His hands touched Lacey's shoulders then slid to capture her hands with his. Their fingers entwined grasping together tightly. He placed his head on her shoulder as Lacey's face went into the crook of Danny's neck. He whispered in a broken voice.

"I'm trying to survive." The cracking of Danny's voice caught Lacey off guard but she remained still against him. "But in order for me to survive, you need to be happy. I can't make you happy. I know this."

Lacey understood exactly what he was saying. With that knowledge came realization, Danny was right. She wasn't happy with him due to all the turmoil and problems that enshrouded their lives. She gripped his hands tighter to hers. She pressed her body tighter to him. His heartbeat could be felt by her even with the layers of clothing separating them.

Her eyes clenched shut as she allowed a moment of weakness of being enraptured by the feeling of Danny Desai holding her to him. They remained there for longer than both should've allowed but it was a desperate moment by them both. The moment turned into necessity as they breathed again forgetting both had been holding their breath.

The ringing of the next period bell was the only thing to break Danny and Lacey out of their ambivalence back into clarity. Danny stepped back allowing Lacey to escape him. He watched as she ran to make her way to her next class. Danny slid down the wall until he sat staring into space. Whitney approached him cautiously.

"I sent your little girlfriend on to class. I told her you needed some time to get your headspace right." Whitney stood over Danny like a predator over its prey. She sighed out as she took a bottle of pills from her purse. She tossed them towards Danny's feet. "If you need for your head to quit hurting or just some relief from all this…" She raised her arm and twirled her hand in the air. "...stuff called life."

Danny peered up at her. "I'm not into drugs, Whitney."

"Of course not, Danny." Whitney's voice softened with a facade of concern. "I have those left over from a bout with depression. It helped."

She walked off leaving Danny alone. Danny took his foot and nudged the pill bottle back and forth with the arch of his foot. He exhaled deeply before rolling the pill bottle as he listened to the rattle of the pills inside. His hand slid slowly to the pill bottle as he grasped it with his thick long fingers. Danny picked up the pill bottle as he stared at it. Twisting the bottle allowing the sun to hit it, Danny watched the capsules bounce around. He stuck the bottle in his pocket of his jacket before allowing his head to lean on his knees. Danny missed the feeling of wanting to live.

_**"What if I'm so broken I can never do something as basic as feed myself? Do you realize how twisted that is? It amazes me sometimes that humans still exist. We're just animals, after all. And how can an animal get so removed from nature that it loses the instinct to keep itself alive?"**_

―Amy Reed,Clean .


	4. Chapter 4

"_We love the things that destroy us, because in that destruction we truly feel alive."_

―_Robert Pobi__,__Bloodman_

Danny lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. He skipped out on the last couple of class periods due to the depression that seeped slowly into him throughout the remainder of the day. Seeing Lacey hurt had jarred him. Danny wondered how long his hate for himself would last or how long he would love Lacey. Because at this point, one was synonymous with the other.

The constant twingle of Danny's phone text alert chimed into into the silence that Danny craved once his head hit the pillow. Jo was persistent if nothing else. Danny didn't feel like making excuses to ward of her advances tonight. The girl was grating on his last nerve the last few days. When a boy takes a girl's hand from his crotch area, one would think she'd get the hint. Of course, Jo thought it was because they were in the school library and others may see.

Danny felt his stomach turn at feeling violated by Jo's hands. He remembered her trying to be seductive but only failed miserably by her choice of words. "I can do things for you that Lacey never would."

First, Danny dared Jo to mention Lacey at all with less than pleasing pouty expression. Secondly, Jo had no clue at all how to be half the lover that Lacey Porter was to him. Danny and Lacey had only been together a few times. However, those few times sparked so much in them both. Being each other's first heightened their adventure as lovers. He wasn't going there with Jo ever. The sooner she got the hint, they better they both would be.

Karen stuck her head into Danny's bedroom door. "Danny, Jo is wanting to come up." She walked in with a huge smile. "But I wanted to talk to you first."

Danny sat up on his bed. "Jo?"

Before he could finish asking, Karen flashed her hand in front of Danny's face. "Jack asked me to marry him." She said excitedly. "I said Yes."

"Congratulations, Mom." Danny pulled Karen into an embrace. "I'm glad you're happy."

"I am." Karen pulled back from Danny's hug. She pushed a few tendrils of hair behind his ear. "Are you happy, Danny? I mean ….with Jo?" Karen looked confused at her son. Danny stared at her without an answer. "Lacey seemed to make you so happy. She was always the one you seemed to have a crush on even before…" She hesitated at her thoughts of using the words 'before juvie'. "I thought you two would get serious."

Danny exhaled as he sat up straighter. "We were serious." He didn't feel like his mother needed to know how serious because it hurt to even mention their relationship had progressed into intimacy before his world fell apart. "Lacey needs to move on from my life, Mom. Jo...well...she takes me with all my flaws. No questions asked."

"I guess it is easier to have a girlfriend that doesn't pressure you about things. But Danny, just because Jo was there in that moment and the worst moment of your life may have been shared with her, that doesn't equate love or happiness. It only equates a shared drama. Nothing else. It doesn't make her understand you more." Karen breathed out a long sigh. "I only want to see you happy. If that means Jo, fine. But if this is just settling, don't do that. I want you to get the happiness you deserve."

"I am doing exactly that. This is what I deserve." Danny closed his eyes. "I still feel bad. Can you send Jo away?"

"Sure, Sweetie." Karen kissed Danny's forehead. "I love you."

Karen got up and walked out of Danny's bedroom pulling the door closed as she went. Danny slipped his hand into the jacket pocket and pulled out the bottle of pills. He opened the bottle and popped two pills in his mouth. He told himself that he wasn't going to get hooked on drugs. It was just a momentary relief he needed to forget the pain he was feeling.

Soon Danny was laying in his bed staring up at the ceiling. He smiled as he chuckled slightly at the thoughts playing in his head.

_"I want a balloon sword." Danny pouted as he looked at the magician, who handed him a light blue balloon dog animal._

_Jo knocked her shoulder into Danny's. "I told him to make you a doggie like mine. See." She held a pink dog balloon animal up._

_"But I want a sword. I want to play pirates." Danny whined out._

_"It's my birthday, Danny." Jo pouted as she held tightly to her pink balloon dog. "What I say goes."_

_Karen walked up with Tess. "Are you two having fun?"_

_"I wanted a sword." Danny held up the blue dog. "The magician can only make one balloon thing for each kid."_

_"I told him to give Danny a dog like mine." Jo spoke up as she crossed her arms. "It is my seventh birthday."_

_"It is her birthday, Danny." Karen smiled weakly at him. "Don't be so selfish. Do what Jo wants."_

_Tess stuck out her hand to take Jo's. "Time for presents and cake. Come on."_

_Lacey had stood back watching. She held a balloon sword as she stared at Danny. Lacey took a deep breath as she leaned to pick a jagged stick from the ground. She walked up and poked Danny's dog bursting the balloon. "Oops." She grinned mischievously. "I guess you'll have to take mine since I burst yours."_

_Danny shook his head. "You didn't have to give me yours." Danny said as he walked with Lacey towards Jo, who was already ripping open her presents._

_"It is no fun playing pirates without you." Lacey pushed her sweaty palms over her forehead. "Besides, I wanted to be the princess. You can be the pirate that protects me."_

_"You never want to be a princess, Lace." Danny swished the balloon sword in the air as he pretended to fend off imaginary pirates. "You're just saying that to make me happy."_

"You always make me happy, Lacey." Danny said in the dream but also out loud as his eyes drooped almost closed.

Jo stood in his doorway staring in. She had went home and talked her mother into making Danny some chicken soup to make him feel better. After talking Karen into letting her give Danny the soup personally, she made it up to Danny's room to surprise him. It was Jo who was in for the surprise as she heard him repeat the words again.

"You always made me happy, Lacey." Danny murmured as he added. "You're the only one that can still make me happy."

Jo gritted her teeth ready to pounce on Danny with her angry words. However, she stopped short when Danny's phone rang.

Lacey lay in bed as she read over some notes for tomorrow's history test. She hoped Danny studied this time. Perhaps, she should call to make sure. Wasn't that being a friend? She was still his friend, wasn't she?

She called Danny's cellphone before she changed her mind. Danny answered with slurred words.

"You always make me happy, Lacey." He chuckled slightly at his words.

Jo's eyes immediately blurred with tears. She turned and ran out of Danny's house until she stopped to catch her breath. She panted out angrily to nothingness. She looked at the bowl of soup clutched in her hands. "Seriously, Danny Desai. You and Lacey won't hurt me again. I'm your only hope. Maybe I saw a few things wrong. I'm not sure if your dad was trying to hurt you or reaching to help you up when you hit him." Jo sneered. "You belong to me, Danny. Like it or not."


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHOR NOTE: This is more of a filler chapter to introduce new characters into the story. These characters are important as they will become Lacey's new friends and confidants.**

**"_I lived to be forgotten because I'd forgotten how to live"_**

**―_Joseph Meyering Sr_**

Lacey hadn't talked to Danny long before he became incoherent. They had established that they wanted to be friends again. However, Danny also confided he needed to talk to her about Jo. The way he said the words to Lacey made her hear his desperation. She let him off the phone with a promise that they would talk as friends, nothing more, about anything he wanted to.

Lacey asked Danny why he was slurring his words. She remembered he mumbled that he took some medicine because he was sick. Then he said the same thing their conversation began with. "You make me happy, Lacey."

That was how their conversation ended. Lacey had a restless night due to a deep feeling of fear for Danny but she wasn't sure where it was coming from. She finally went to sleep only to be woken by her alarm three hours later to get ready for school. With a smile on her face due to realizing that Danny and she were on some type of mended friendship, Lacey made her way down the hallway of Green Grove High School.

Lacey opened her locker feeling a strange sense of Danny giving her yet another tale to deflect the situation from himself. Yet, Lacey felt giddy when Danny said she was the one that made him happy. Unlike Jo, Lacey felt a slight smidgen of guilt for wanting to hear those words from Danny. Jo was his girlfriend after all.

Behind Lacey stood a group of new students. Four siblings all looking in her direction. Of course, she had no idea she was the subject of conversation. Her thoughts were on Danny. Once again, she was worried about him. Wasn't it okay to worry about a friend? Although, she had to admit that Danny and she would never really be friends as they were before. Too much emotional and physical had passed between them.

Moments before, Isaac Perry stood with his brother Adam anxiously awaiting their parents to finish up their talk with Principal Tang. The students had already been escorted around the school campus then told to mingle with students as their parents registered each of them. Their sister, Miriam, came walking up with arms folded defensively over her chest. Within seconds, Matthew, the youngest of the four came bounding up.

"So I've got the scoop, my dearest siblings." Matthew grinned mischievously.

"Pray tell what scoop is that." Miriam chuckled at her younger brother. He was only younger by three months but that was enough to taunt him with.

"The hottest girl in school." Matthew wiggled his eyebrows.

"Of course." Adam shook his head. "What else would you be concerned about, little brother?"

Cole Farrell had noticed the quartet of new students congregated near his locker. He was going to introduce himself but became more interesting in eavesdropping on the bunch. The curiosity came from their titles given to each other. After all, they were referring to each other as siblings. It sounded strange yet anyone could tell it was a joke amongst themselves. However, it was more interesting in the fact of their physical looks.

Isaac was a 6' 2 " black boy with a skin tone similar to Lacey Porter but not quite the darkness of the one referred to as Matthew. Isaac was never a lady's man due to his own doing. He respected the females and his goal was to show them. His handsome features rivaled that of many a boy his age. He knew it but never showed that in his mannerisms. He wore his hair cut closely to his head but not razor shaved. He had twirled designs mirroring on both sides of his head where the hair had been shaved to the scalp. He was in the middle of his senior year in high school. He was turning 18 within a few weeks. He was broad shouldered and thin waisted. It was obvious the boy had seen many days in the gym working out. Much like Cole, Isaac was proud of his body because he had worked hard for it.

Matthew probably stood approximately the same height as Cole. He and Miriam were fifteen and sophomores. Matthew was stocky but muscular. But he seemed confident in his stature and his looks. His hair was in dread locks which complimented Matthew's handsome face.

Mariam was an average in height girl, who was about 5' 5". It was her skin tone that caught Cole by surprise as well as her beauty. She was extremely dark skinned female reminiscent of Lupita Nyong'o. Miriam wasn't quite as beautiful as Lupita but she was very close. She even wore her hair short to her head similar to Lupita due to Lupita being her idol. Cole felt immediately attracted to her as her smiled flashed at her brothers. She definitely took his breath away. He wondered if that was how Danny felt when seeing Lacey. Danny had confided in Cole that Lacey Porter was the only girl to ever take his breath when he looked at her.

The strangest of the siblings was Adam. He was about the height of Danny. He was a junior but was supposed to be a senior. He had failed his ninth grade year. He was extremely skinny and extremely pasty in color. One of his arms had a full sleeve tattoo with various objects not really connecting to any them in particular. His flaming red hair was in a mohawk style with the tips of his hair colored a blue hue. His green eyes were strangely light in color. His face was speckled with freckles that seemed to cascade over his cheeks and to his neck.

Cole continued to listen to their animated conversation trying to gage each of their personalities.

Matthew was obviously the comedian. "As I was saying. By the consensus of those I've spoken to, this gorgeous female's name is Lacey Porter. Now, I have yet to lay eyes on said female but only a few named someone else as the most beautiful girl in school. I have suspicion one girl was naming her own girlfriend so she wouldn't get jealous. Any way, she is a sophomore and single. Single not long ago which is the perfect time for this fellow here .." He pointed to himself. "...to get to know her. Anyway, this lovely lady seems to have broken up with her long time boyfriend for some other person referred to as a loser. She broke up with him probably because he was a loser. No one said why but I got that."

Danny had joined Cole about this time causing Cole to chuckle under his breath. Now both Danny and Cole were listening to Matthew ramble on.

"But get this…" Matthew seemed proud of his investigative skills after only been on school property less than an hour. His good fortune was that it was lunch time for some students. "Her first boyfriend was expelled for poisoning some dude to frame the loser so he could keep this Lacey girl. So she must be one hot tamale."

"Seriously, Matthew." Miriam rolled her eyes. "One of these days some girl is going to smack your mouth for such sexist remarks."

"With her lips…." Matthew kissed the back of his hand with a loud pop.

Adam nudged Isaac as Lacey Porter came walking up to her locker across from them. "Wow. I like the new school already."

Isaac wasn't usually one to dwell on the superficial things. However, this girl was like an angel sent from heaven if looks accounted for anything. She hadn't noticed the siblings as she seemed preoccupied.

Matthew suddenly lost all his cockiness as his voice lowered. "Dang a lang. I think I'm in love."

The slamming of Lacey's locker caused the three to jump realizing they were staring. Miriam laughed at her brothers' obviousness. Danny smirked as he walked by the four.

"Hey, Lace." He grabbed her into a friendly hug. After all, they had established they would try to be friends.

"Danny!" Lacey giddily hugged him back. "I was so worried about you. I see you're feeling better."

"Yep." Danny reluctantly relinquished the embrace with Lacey. "I think your talk helped. Sorry the medicine I took made me groggy. I really want to finish our conversation. Maybe later?"

"Okay." Lacey breathed out trying to hide the fact she felt tingly having Danny near her. He smelled so good. She always loved his vanilla and leather smell. "But I have to go right now. I'm so late for music class. See you, Danny. Bye, Cole." She waved as she hurried away.

Danny turned to smirk at Matthew. He walked up to the four new students. Cole followed wondering what remark Danny may make. This was going to be interesting.

"Hi." Danny smiled charmingly. "You all must be new to Green Grove. I'm Danny Desai."

"Hi." Isaac spoke first as he extended his hand to shake Danny's. "These are my two brothers, Matthew and Adam. This is my little sister, Miriam."

The three brothers were used to their sister catching a guy's eyes. Therefore, when Cole swallowed nervously introducing himself, they knew he was smitten like most males in the vicinity of their sister. However, Danny seemed unfazed. The brothers ,as well as Miriam , realized it was due to his infatuation with the gorgeous girl he had embraced.

"The girl that left was Lacey Porter." Danny was ready to make a barb at Matthew. It would be fun to be his old manipulative and intimidating self. "The most gorgeous girl in school along with your sister now." Danny winked at Miriam but turned his attention back to Matthew. "Cole is also known as the dude who her ex poisoned to get rid of the loser chasing after Lacey. Which makes me the loser."

Isaac tried not to laugh at his little brother's stepping closer to him. Danny shrugged his shoulders. "Do you think Lace broke up with me because I'm a loser, Cole?"

"Nah." Cole chuckled enjoying Danny's fun. "She dated you already knowing what others thought."

"Oh you mean the fact that I killed my aunt at age eleven?" Danny rubbed his neck. "Yeah. But that is understandable her forgiving me for that. I spent my time for that in juvie. Crime done. Price paid. Maybe it is because I recently killed my dad."

Cole was caught off guard by Danny's cavalier attitude. Everyone already knew about Vikram's death by Danny's hands. It was ruled accidental homicide and self defense.

However, Cole composed himself long enough to add to Danny's words. "Could be it."

"Nice meeting you all." Danny smirked. "Welcome to Green Grove. A safe haven from the big city. It you don't count the town having its own teen murderer among us."

With that, Danny sauntered off. Isaac's brow furrowed in confusion as he looked at Cole. "Matthew didn't mean anything by it."

"Don't worry about, Danny. He's usually a great guy." Cole bit his lip. "Really. Despite the ummm murdering thing."

"He was serious?" Adam cursed after he asked. He was given evil glares by his siblings. "Sorry. God forgive me but dang. I thought he was trying to scare Matthew from gossiping."

"He was." Matthew rubbed down his chest nervously. "It worked too. I guess I shouldn't have called him a loser."

"Danny could care less about that. Believe me, he has been called much worse. Since you already know the gossip. Well, part of it." Cole tried to make amends for Danny's snipey remarks. "Danny is really protective over Lacey. She means a lot to him. They broke up but they still care for each other. I'm sure that Danny was taking up for Lacey in his round about way."

"It's okay, Cole." Miriam smiled genuinely. "My brother is a jerk at times. We know how it is."

"Hey." Matthew protested. When all looked at him, he shrunk his shoulders slightly. "Okay. I was a jerk. I shall apologize to him if ever we're in a public place full of witnesses." He noticed their continued glaring. "What, he said he was a murderer. I ain't apologizing in no dark alley."

Even Cole had to laugh at that. Seconds later, the parents of the Perry siblings walked up. The man looked demure and classy. The female looked nothing like any of the other children. The children introduced their new friend. The mother was a tall black woman with a large build. Her smile radiated as she introduced herself.

"I'm Anna Perry." She hugged Cole unexpectedly. "This is the nicest place."

The father stuck out his hand to Cole after the boy was released by his very friendly wife. "I'm Reverend John Perry. It is nice to meet you, Cole."

Little did Green Grove know that the Perry family was about to become very important people in some of their lives especially the Porter family.

* * *

**In my imagination this is what each new character looks similar to. This is who I picture when I write them. Clara Porter is not new but this is the face I give her. LOL Maybe it will help you visualize my characters better. And Isaac Perry..lord have mercy! He's gorgeous. Blake Simms isn't introduced yet but this is how I imagine him to look. I'll put it this way, the Perry family is blessed with good looks!**

**Clara Porter**: Amandla Stenberg

**John Perry** (father): Laurence Fishburne **Anna Perry**: Kim Coles **Isaac Perry**: Younger version of Nathan Owens **Matthew Perry** : Leon Thomas III

**Miriam Perry**: Looks like Lupita Nyong'o (Younger less beautiful version) **Adam Perry**: Adam Hicks

**Blake Simms** (Brother to Anna Perry) Uncle to the Perry children: Blair Underwood


	6. Chapter 6

"_**Imagine trying to live without air.**_

_**Now imagine something worse."**_

―_**Amy Reed**__**,**__**Clean**_

The sheets that wrapped around Danny were drenched in his sweat. He had not taken the pills that allowed the pleasure of sleeping without nightmares of haunting memories of the past. Danny's hands pulled frantically at the area around his neck. His breathing was rapid as his lungs expanded painfully. He felt like he was being choked to death slowly.

Danny knew it was only the nightmare that had caused him to sit up startled from an already restless sleep. The nightmare that was also causing him to feel his neck being squeezed to the edge death. His hands shook as they grasped at something not even there. His haziness finally dissipated when he realized there was no rope tight around his neck. Danny's body shook involuntarily as he remembered Tara's cold eyes staring back at him.

His nightmare of taking Tara's life had stopped a few years ago after therapy in juvenile detention. Those nightmares came back when his father fell to his death. Danny wondered if his father's eyes held the same vacantness that Tara's eyes held when he met his own death.

Danny glanced at the clock realizing it was way too late to call Lacey. She was his calming factor even if he didn't tell her the real issues he was dealing with. Just hearing Lacey's voice caused him peace.

He had avoided Jo most of the day claiming he was still sick. She hadn't been that difficult to avoid. Jo seemed angry over something and Danny wasn't in the mood to coddle her to find out what that was. Besides, he was going to ask Lacey advice on how to break up with her. Not that Lacey was the one that he should ask an opinion on that matter. However, she was his only female friend as other girls shied away from him or parents refused to let them near him. However, deep down, Danny wanted Lacey to know his true feelings about Jo Marie Masterson. There were not romantic feelings for Jo as Lacey had suggested and Danny had tried his hardest to conjure up. They were just not there to be forced forward. They never were. It was a huge mistake for him to even try to make something out of nothing. Realizing this was also realizing that leading Jo on was only going to make matters worse. However, he had never broken up with a girl. Lacey was the only one to date him besides Jo. She did the breaking up, which broke his heart. He wanted to try to avoid Jo as much hurt as possible. Maybe Lacey knew how to do that.

Danny decided maybe watching something on Netfix or surfing the internet would take his mind from the nightmare that was tormenting him. He pulled open his laptop and began searching through movies on Netflix. Nothing seemed interesting. Then he pulled up the internet trying desperately to find anything to take his mind off of Tara's lifeless eyes . Eventually, he found himself looking through instagram at Lacey's photos. He couldn't help but smile at the photos she had put up the last couple of days before their break up. He remembered her taking photos of them while they hid their secret relationship. The poses were in such couple like settings. His favorites were of those photos in her room on her bed kissing each other. The past photos were of her and Archie but they never seemed as close as Danny and she seemed. Nor did Lacey seem as happy. His favorite was Lacey making a kissy face towards him as he rolled his eyes at her antics. Their relationship may have been a secret but it was still the most relaxing and happy time of his life.

The more recent photos were a few of her and her little sister Clara. There was one of all three of the beautiful Porter females that stood out to Danny. Lacey had a beautiful family. The more Danny stared at the photos, the more his head pounded with pain. He figured it was the voice in his head constantly reminding him of his unworthiness of such a beautiful person as Lacey was.

His head began to throb so badly that he left Lacey's instagram and went to Jo's. He wasn't on there long as he felt completely not interested. The instagram was filled with selfies and quotes that Jo felt were somehow intelligent. Danny rolled his eyes at himself for ever trying to entertain the idea of a romantic relationship with her. _What was he thinking?_ Fortunately, Danny was very pleased it had only been a couple of weeks. And within those couple of weeks, they rarely spent time together. On the rare occasions that Danny tried to be a boyfriend to Jo, it was burdensome and not physical. After the first kiss with Jo, Danny realized there was no tingle, no spark, and no desire from him to her. Once again, Danny questioned himself. _What was I thinking?_

It wasn't long before Danny's thoughts went back to Lacey. As always, Danny migrated to Lacey in all his thoughts. He drew in a much needed breath of air as his mind played over and over the times he and Lacey laughed together. As any sixteen year old boy would do, Danny began to think of their intimate times. It was then that Danny realized those memories were like old relics that were to be shelved to admire but never to be touched again.

At that conclusion, Danny was surfing the web about a subject he never thought he'd go to. There before him on some blog on tumblr, Danny saw better ways to get a quicker more poignant high. He glanced at his door to make sure it was shut tightly. He swallowed the feeling of doing wrong that resonated from the pit of his stomach into his throat. However, like any choice of doing the wrong thing, Danny fought his conscious and continued reading the blog with an intensity that gnawed at him. Yet, he never quit reading the lines that scrolled before him.

It wasn't long before Danny had crushed three of the pills on top of the surface on his desk. He had pulled a straw from an old soda in the trash. He cut the straw with a pair of scissors on his desk. Then with a shaky unconfident hand, Danny held the straw in the tips of his fingers. He placed the straw to the crushed powder before him. Feeling like a character from a movie from some type mafia film, Danny sniffed the powdered substance into his nostrils. At first it burned causing Danny to cough slightly. Then he tried again and did it slower while holding his thumb against his opposite nostril. He had seen that done in a movie called _Blow._

Danny cleaned up evidence of his crime in a slow sloppy method. He then flung his body back on the bed holding out both arms as he felt like a tree cut down in its prime.

He basked in the euphoria that took over his senses. Here, in this world of incoherent madness, was the only place that afforded Danny to take down the relic and be worthy to do so. Here Danny walked hand in hand down Green Grove High School hallways with Lacey. Friends greeted them joyfully. Lacey proudly held tightly to him. No one caused her pain or taunted her for being with the loser. Here, Lacey was happy and so was he.

Here his mind was allowed to travel from one scene to the next with ease. Here Danny could be with Lacey without causing her harm for loving him back.

Halting momentarily from enjoying the images of Lacey twirling in a pink cotton dress in the water of the ocean, Danny stared up at his room spinning in slow circles. He wondered if someone would look in his eyes at this very moment would they see the vacant stare that Tara's eyes held. As her face and his father's face came before him both taunting him with evil laughter, Danny didn't shirk away or try to run. He laughed back at them in the same menacing laugh they held for him. In his high state, he felt numb to them. Danny thought the demons couldn't torment him while the drug coursed through his veins.


	7. Chapter 7

**"My fear of abandonment is exceeded only by my terror of intimacy."**

**―Ethlie Ann Vare**

Lacey yawned as she poured milk over her cereal. She glanced over at Clara, who was sitting there with her eyes barely open. Lacey stuck her spoon deep into her cereal stirring it around.

"Why are we up so early?" Lacey yawned.

Sunday was the only day that Judy Porter slept in. It was the one day out of the week that she wasn't at the hospital working a night shift or she wasn't getting the girls ready for school and out the door. Judy Porter was a registered nurse at Green Grove Medical Hospital. She had been working there before Clara was born. Tuesday and Thursday was Judy's other days off. However, Sunday was the day that Judy most enjoyed because the girls were home with her. Judy worked four ten hour evening shifts on all other days. She often took a nap after getting the girls off to school due to getting home after 1 AM most mornings. However, Sunday was a day they slept in then spent the rest of the day relaxing with her girls. Therefore, when she told the girls to get up and get their own breakfast before 9 am on a Sunday, it was an unusual occurrence in the Porter household.

Clara shrugged as she slunk down to lay her head on the kitchen table. "I don't know. Mom has tried on four dresses in the last twenty minutes." Clara blinked before closing her eyes. "I think we're all going somewhere."

About that time, Judy came rushing into the kitchen turning on the coffee pot. "You both need to wear a nice dress today. You have less than an hour to get ready. Please look good. I need you to look good." Judy sighed as she buttoned her blouse. "Does this color blouse look okay with this skirt? How about my shoes?"

Clara didn't bother to open her eyes as she continued to allow an extra few minutes of sleep to take over. Lacey glanced up and down at her mother. She looked perfect and beautiful as always.

"You look great." Lacey said meaning that as her mother always looked classy and beautiful. "What gives, Mom? Where are we going that you are so stressed about?" Lacey took huge bite of cereal realizing she had little time to eat.

"Church. We're going to church." Judy tapped her fingernails impatiently on the counter. "Okay, I know church hasn't been a place we've attended since your Grandma Ross passed away. But I ran into an old friend, who invited me to a Green Grove Christ Chapel. There's a new pastor taking over."

"An old friend?" Lacey grinned knowingly. Her mother wouldn't be this nervous about some old friend who was female.

Judy held up her hand as a sly grin crossed her face. "Blake Simms. He's my high school sweetheart." Judy sat down at the counter as she spoke to Lacey in a whimsical voice. "We dated from 10th grade until we graduated. We only broke up because I wanted to go off to college and Blake felt God was leading him into music ministry with his sister, Anna. Anna married an evangelist. I wanted to go to nursing school. Our lives took different paths so we broke up. I went to college and met your father. I haven't seen Blake in all these years."

"How did he look?" Lacey teased knowing her mother seemed a little to school girl giddy over this guy.

"Gorgeous." Judy chuckled. "Really gorgeous. And before you ask. He is single. His wife died of ovarian cancer about five years ago. They never had children." Judy shook her head sadly. "Poor man loved that woman. She sounded like a lovely person."

"How long was this running into?" Lacey raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"I ran into him and we decided to go out to lunch." Judy breathed out contentedly. "It felt nice to see him again. He was my very first love. Much like you and Archie Yates."

Lacey bit her lip. "Archie wasn't my first love, Mom."

"Well, you'll meet your first love some time. But Blake was mine." Judy noticed Clara was sleeping. "We were each other's first." She winked as she whispered. "Dear Lord, I remember his mother thinking I was a demon that ruined her good Christian son. Of course, my mother thought the same of Blake. You never forget your first love or your first time. You'll see someday. Hopefully, you'll wait for marriage though." Judy added quickly for good measure.

Lacey hoped her face didn't show that it was too late for that. She stuffed her spoon back into her mouth hoping her mother wouldn't question about that part of her life. Judy didn't know of the sex video or of her daughter dating Danny. Judy was so busy with taking on extra shifts due to planning a vacation for her and the girls that she only thought Lacey, Danny and Jo had reconnected as friends.

Judy turned to pour herself a cup of coffee. "Now, hurry up and get ready. I bragged on my two beautiful girls. I want to show you both off. You're going to love Anna's and Blake's singing. Anna has four children. Her sons and daughter sing too." Judy kept chattering as she poured a cup of coffee. "Isaac is their oldest according to Blake. Blake said Isaac looks a lot like him when he was young. If he does, girl, you want to meet this boy. The other three children are adopted. But Blake said he loves them the same as Isaac. They have a teen girl your age. I can't remember her name as I was so excited to see him again. The other boy can play any instrument you hand him. Blake said God gave that boy a gift of music as he also writes songs for them to sing. " Judy continued to talk as she headed out of the room. "Wake Clara up and get ready."

It wasn't long before the Porter girls were sitting in a pew along with their mother. Blake introduced himself to Lacey and Clara. Both girls were very impressed. He was as good looking as their mother said. Then the girls were introduced to the Reverend John, his wife, and their children. Lacey had to admit that Isaac was very handsome. However, her thoughts went to Danny, who was unnaturally beautiful. To Lacey, not many boys could top Danny Desai's looks. Although Isaac Perry came very close to doing so.

The introductions were cut short when the former preacher introduced Reverend John Perry. The choir sung a few hymns before Anna and Blake sang a song. Then the Perry children were introduced and filled the stage.

Clara nudged Lacey. "They have their own band. Cool."

"Yeah. It is." Lacey agreed with a smile to her little sister.

Clara looked younger than her thirteen years. She looked more like a ten year old due to her petite stature which she took after her mother. Therefore, when Lacey figured out that Clara had been staring at the boy, Matthew, she kind of felt sorry for her. Matthew was fifteen according to the introductions but was soon to be sixteen. He looked every day of his age too if not older. However, it was nice seeing her little sister take an interest in a boy when all Clara usually showed interest in was gymnastics.

The boy named Adam took a seat behind the drums while Matthew picked up the bass guitar. Blake Simms had the lead guitar. Anna stood behind a keyboard and Miriam stood with hands folded in front of her. She looked nervous as the music began. Isaac started first with the chorus to an unfamiliar song to Lacey. It was so beautiful as Lacey listened intently to the words that flowed from their mouths.

_You won't relent until You have it all,_

_My heart is Yours _

Then Miriam's eyes closed as her face contorted from fear to joy. Her cheeks were soon wet with tears as she held out her arm outstretched towards the sky. The whole church was in awe at the beauty of the voice that poured out from Miriam. Lacey was in awe at the sheer reality of the words meaning very much to this young girl as she sung.

_I'll set You as a seal upon my heart_

_as a seal upon my arm_

_For there is love that is as strong as death_

_Jealousy, demanding as the grave_

_And many waters cannot quench this love_

Isaac joined in again as did Matthew. The chorus echoed throughout the church then Miriam's voice grew stronger over the boys as she continued with such conviction in her singing.

_Come be the fire inside of me_

_Come be the flame upon my heart_

_Come be the fire inside of me_

_Until You and I are One _

_I don't want to talk about You_

_Like You're not in the room_

_I want to look right at You_

_I want to sing right to You_

Sometime between the singing and John Perry's message titled Remember my Chains, Lacey noticed her mother making her way to fall down at the altar of the church. However, Lacey also noticed there were more people there and that her mother wasn't the only one who made their way to the altar. Then she looked over at Clara, who had tears dripping from her small cheeks. Lacey started to console her but felt her own tears flowing down her face. She felt an urge to run from the church and from the feeling that was choking her and churning her stomach. _What was happening to her? _

Lacey stood as she prepared to exit the church. But instead she felt drawn to make her way to be next to her mother. There Lacey suddenly forgot that all eyes could see her. She suddenly didn't care that she wasn't being strong. She felt weak and defeated as she sobbed uncontrollably. The pain of the past poured out of her like a dam breaking and flooding over. The resentment towards Jo and Danny ran through her mind as she spoke to a new friend, who some may not believe in. But at that very moment, Jesus felt real. Not only did Lacey feel He was real, but He was listening to her troubles.

This new friend made her feel important and protected. Her love for Danny had broken her more than she realized as Lacey threw her head to the altar allowing the reality of hurt to be seen. Her shoulders shook heavily and her breath came out in rapid pants until her sobbing overtook her whole body. It was then and there that Lacey wanted to get rid of the hurt and live again. She had hurt since the day she saw Tara's lifeless body on the floor in the Desai home. She had grieved for the boy she loved losing his youth. She grieved for her life being a façade of popularity and a façade of happiness to only survive. She grieved for the loss of two close friends.

It was Anna's voice that whispered into Lacey's ear. Her voice was soft and motherly. "Go ahead, child. Just let it go. Let your burdens be His. You don't have to carry them alone now."

Lacey turned as she desperately fell into Anna's arms. The older woman embraced the teen girl with love that Lacey had never felt from a stranger. Then Lacey's body collapsed into a shuddering of tears as all her thoughts seemed to release from her body into some type joy that she never felt before.

Singing from the choir began again once Lacey and Judy made it back to their pew. This time both women clapped with joy as Clara did too. The hate, anger, and pain that the Porter females felt for the betrayal of those whom they loved seemed second to the new love they felt.

The Porters were invited out with the Perry family for lunch. They all suggested _Johnny Cakes_ for a nice place to meet up. Blake was sitting beside of Judy as Anna told stories of how smitten her little brother was with Judy when teens. Isaac managed to sit himself beside of Lacey which caused both Matthew and Adam disappointment. Miriam was across from Lacey beside of Clara.

Miriam and Lacey seemed to enjoy the same things. It was an immediate friendship formed between the two. Isaac was quieter than usual as his father noted his oldest son's infatuation with the lovely Lacey Porter.

It was then things got a little off the light conversation when Danny and Karen Desai walked into the diner. Danny's jaw twitched when he saw Lacey sitting beside Isaac. Karen saw Judy and made a beeline for her followed by a reluctant Danny.

"Isn't that your ex boyfriend?" Matthew asked as he stuffed a french fry in his mouth.

Judy turned expecting to see Archie. When she saw Danny she frowned. "No. He's only Lacey's friend, Danny. Right, Lacey?"

Lacey bit her lip as she glanced at her mother hoping not to get into this at the moment. Miriam and Isaac stared at their brother as if to say "Shut Up". Anna was trying to think of a way to change the awkward subject.

Lacey swallowed. "Where did you hear something like that?" A fake smiled formed on her face.

Adam, who was too busy stuffing a burger in his mouth, hadn't noticed the awkwardness. "Danny told us. I think he was letting us males know."

Lacey eyes grew wide but was saved from her mother's questioning when Karen made it to their table. All the men stood up as she approached. Judy stood as well accepting an embrace from Karen. The men sat back down after greeting Karen.

"Karen, this is Reverend John Perry and his wife, Anna. These are their children, Isaac, Matthew, Adam, and Miriam." Judy pointed to each child as she went in the order of how they were sitting. "This is Blake Simms. They are taking over for the retired pastor of Green Grove Christ Chapel." Judy then turned to Anna. "This is Karen Desai and her son, Danny."

Karen smiled genuinely. "Nice to meet you."

Anna, Blake and John said the same back to her. Karen flashed her ring in Judy's face. "I'm getting married. Jack proposed yesterday."

Judy squealed as she hugged Karen again. "Congratulations. I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you. You must help me plan it. Tess has too much on her plate right now. You're my other best friend. Would you?" Karen was as happy as she sounded and Judy was happy for her.

"Of course. I'd love to." Judy smiled genuinely.

Karen glanced at Lacey. "Lacey, you must be in the wedding. You mean so much to me and Danny. You're like our family. I won't take no for an answer."

"It will be my pleasure." Lacey smiled revealing her dimples. Her eyes then connected with Danny's in an intense stare down.

Judy frowned noticing the tension between the two. Lacey broke the stare when she saw Jo walking by the diner but not coming in.

"There's your girlfriend, Danny." Lacey said cooly.

Danny thought it was to make sure this new boy, Isaac, saw there was no connection between Danny and Lacey. Lacey was doing it due to the audacity of Danny telling of their relationship to somehow ward the boys off from her. Danny cursed without thinking due to not wanting to face Jo at the moment. He still needed advice from Lacey on how to break up with her. Karen's face turned a bright red as shame hit her of Danny's choice of words.

"Danny, don't use language like that. Where are your manners?" She smacked at Danny's shoulder. "I'm going to get that pie to go." She turned from Danny to the people at the table. "It was great meeting you all. I'll speak to later, Judy."

Lacey sighed under her breath relieved when Danny turned to walk away. However, her relief was short lived when none other than Archie Yates and Scott Ogden came into the diner. Lacey felt her whole reserve cracking when she heard Archie address Danny. Of course, Archie couldn't just let Danny alone. Karen had walked out of the diner to take a phone call while the pie was being made.

"So Danny, how is that you're not in prison?" Archie stood there glaring at him.

"I didn't kill Regina, Archie." Danny tried to push past Archie but Archie kept making jabs at him.

"This is true. However, I heard about you killing your dad. You got a cool ten million for that." Archie stated as Scott laughed being Archie's usual lackey.

Lacey could sense Danny's anger escalating. She fought with herself not to get involved. Danny was no longer her fight to fight. Danny turned staring menacingly at Archie.

"I guess unlike you, who poisoned someone, I am known to finish a job." Danny's voice was unwavering. "Attempted murder and rich parents must equate expulsion from school while successful murder and rich parents still gets you time."

The Reverend and Blake were getting a little antsy at what the boys were saying. Isaac stared over at Lacey, who seemed to be close to breaking down in tears. Then it all came to a head when Archie made one too many quips at Danny's expense.

"I'm just glad your dad left the money to you. After all, your mom is way too hot for you to kill her." Archie crossed his arms thinking he had won.

However, before anyone could stop the next event. Danny grabbed Archie by the back of the head and slammed his head viciously into a table. Blood squirted from Archie's nose as Danny let him loose.

"Don't ever mention my mother." Danny warned. Then he stated as he patted Archie's chest as if he was helping him up. "You need to be more careful, Archie. The floors are slippery."

Danny then stared back at Lacey. Their eyes connected as Danny spoke to the Perry family but never allowed his eyes to leave Lacey's eyes. "Nice to meet you. I hope you enjoy your new life in Green Grove."


	8. Chapter 8

**"_Using excuses for the predicament you're in and minimizing your situation, whether it is drug or alcohol use, is a sure sign of an addict."_**

**―_Alexandra Sobetsky_**

Lacey walked cautiously into her house following behind her mother. Clara could already decipher that Judy and Lacey were going to need some private time. The lunch with the Perrys and Blake Simms was nice but once Danny was mentioned as Lacey's boyfriend, all the awkwardness began. It only heightened when Danny had his violent display.

Clara whispered to Lacey. "Good luck." Then she hurried up stairs to allow her mother and Lacey to be alone for a much needed talk.

"Go get on some comfortable clothes, young lady." Judy placed her purse on the table. "I'm going to as well then we are going to have a long talk."

"Yes, Ma'am." Lacey swallowed as she ran upstairs. She dreaded the conversation she was going to have with her mother. She hurriedly changed due to not wanting to upset her mother any further.

Lacey bit her lip as she guardedly approached Judy, who was sitting curled up on the living room sofa. Judy patted the seat next to her. Lacey sat down anxiously as she inhaled deeply. "Mom.."

"Let me start this. Today was great. I have never in my life felt as happy as I was pouring out all my troubles at that altar. However, Blake explained to me that doesn't mean troubles will not still come into our lives. The only difference now is that we have someone in Jesus that will help with that burden. So I'm going to try my best not to yell at you or get angry. But I need to know as your mother exactly why Danny told those boys he dated you."

Lacey could feel tears welling up in her eyes. "We did. Not long. I hid it at first. Then I never mentioned it when we finally came out with our relationship. But dating Danny was too much. It hurt too bad especially when I thought he wanted Jo instead of me."

"First of all, Danny wanting Jo over you is nonsense." Judy pushed Lacey's hair from her face as she wiped a few stray tears from her daughter's cheeks. She had no clue that Lacey was that emotionally attached to Danny. It caused Judy guilt for not being involved enough in her oldest daughter's life. "Danny has always seen Jo as a little sister. I'm surprised they're dating. The boy looks very miserable. But he has for a while now."

"Mom.." Lacey whispered almost inaudible. "Please don't hate me."

Judy gathered her daughter in her arms. It looked strange a petite woman as Judy cradling her grown daughter against her. "I could never hate you, baby girl. I promise. I may get mad. My anger may even make me yell although I'll try not to. But hating you is an impossibility."

"I love him, Mama." Lacey cried as Judy held her. "I love Danny so much. I've loved him before he even got sent off to juvie. It only became love that we both understood when he came back." Lace sniffed trying to hide her words in a muffling against her mother's chest. "But I also did things with Danny that I never did with anyone ever not even Archie. He and I…" She stopped fearing her mother's rejection.

"Did you have sex with him?" Judy could feel herself breaking inside for her daughter. However, she tried to compose herself and show strength.

"Yes." Lacey gulped as another onslaught of tears assaulted her cheeks. "And I hate that I don't regret Danny was my first. I was his too. I'm not even sure I'd want to change that. Maybe later I would but now while I still love him, I'm glad we shared that because no one else got to have that part of Danny before I did and no one else got that part of me before he did." Lacey sighed in shattered breath. "Does that make me a bad person?"

Judy couldn't help but chuckle even with her heart shattering for her teen daughter. "No. That makes you human. I guess in trying to get my life back as well as trying to keep Clara safe from the problems with your father and I, I forgot that you needed me too. You were always so strong to me. Even stronger than I was. I'm sorry I didn't even notice that Danny and you were more than friends. I'm sorry I didn't notice the love until today when he stared at you. That wasn't a child looking at a crush. That was a young man looking at the girl he loves."

Lacey pulled from her mother's chest. "Mom, there's more. So many things I've kept from you. Bad things."

Judy cupped Lacey's face with her hands. She peered lovingly into her daughter's face. "Let me be the mother I should've been. Trust me."

"We didn't know…" Lacey's brow furrowed thinking of how terrible it sounded saying it out loud. "But Danny and I were filmed having sex. The video didn't show any nudity. But it was rather obvious what we were doing anyway. The person was standing outside Danny's window of his house and we were on the sofa in the Desai living room. They sent the video all over school. I was slut shamed. My locker was vandalized." Lacey bit her lip. "I'm so sorry for shaming the family, Mama."

To Lacey's surprise, Judy swallowed and said. "No one does that to my daughter. I want names."

"It is over." Lacey said in a pleading tone. "It happened the day of Danny's expulsion hearing."

"No. It is not over." Judy took Lacey's hands in hers. Tears slowly escaped Judy's eyes. "This type of thing has caused young girls to hurt themselves. This person or people need to understand that this can't happen again. You are a strong young woman. I am thankful to God for that. But another girl may not be so strong. This type of behavior should never be condoned." She gripped Lacey's hands tighter. "Do you understand? What if you weren't so strong? You're my baby. I have to protect my baby."

Lacey went on to tell the whole story of how angry Jo got and how she and Danny went to her to apologize. Judy held back her anger at that because she could tell her daughter needed to tell the story on her terms. Lacey told her that it happened around the time of Danny's expulsion, Jo's confession of her feelings of Danny, and the poisoning of Cole. She said there was so much going on that she felt selfish for worrying over her mistakes when others were hurting.

Judy answered simply. "You had a right to hurt, Lacey. You were the one done most wrong. You deserve time to think of yourself in this."

"Today in church, I prayed to get over Danny. To let me forget loving him. But when I saw him in the diner, my heart starting beating so fast just like it always does. It hurts so much. I love the feeling I got at the altar of peace. I guess I had hoped I had poured out so much pain that loving Danny poured out too." Lacey admitted as she licked her lip. "I'm trying to move on. I am."

"It will take some time." Judy exhaled as she pressed her palm against Lacey's cheek. "I don't want you seeing Danny in a romantic sense. I won't forbid that as you need to come to terms with that type relationship on your own. And if I felt he was dangerous, I would forbid it. Not because he's the monster the town makes him out to be but because he has so many problems that he needs to fix. I don't want you to be mixed up in those problems. He has had it rougher than you know, Lacey. Karen was mad at Tess for so long that I was the one she confided in. Danny got beat up a lot in juvie. Then she started getting calls about him being the one beating others up. I know he was surviving. However, violence has become second nature to him. He's a scared kid, who killed his own father due to having to protect another and himself. No matter how adult you both think you are, you and Danny are still children. That child is going to break one day. I don't want you to be caught up in the aftermath when that happens."

Lacey nodded. "I understand. I'm going to be his friend but I'm not getting caught up in his life for now. I need to concentrate on me too."

"Good girl." Judy patted Lacey's knee. "Maybe you could show Miriam around town or something. You both could use a friend."

"I definitely could." Lacey smiled as she stood up. She wiped the last of her tears with the back of her hand. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Lacey." Judy watched as Lacey made her way upstairs to her room. She then picked up the phone. "Karen, this is Judy. We need to talk about something important. Can I come over or would you like to meet somewhere?" Judy hesitated as she listened to Karen's answer. "I'll be there in about a half hour."

Soon Judy was telling Karen what Lacey had told her about the video of their children.

"I'm sorry for you have to find out this way." Judy took a sip of the tea which Karen offered her. "Lacey informed me only this morning. I can't believe our children faced this alone."

"We need to go to Principal Tang together first thing Monday morning. There was so much going on with Danny's expulsion hearing, I guess I assumed that was the only reason he was upset. I didn't know they were dating at that time either, Judy. I thought you knew they were dating this last time." Karen took in much needed air. "I know Lacey needs stability and my son is not there right now. But she makes him so happy. Can you blame me for wanting that for him?"

Judy shook her head in understanding. "You're not angry because I want Lacey to take a step back from that type relationship with him, are you?"

"No. Of course not." Karen half smiled. "I understand completely. I wish it were different though. I love Lacey so much and loved her dating my Danny."

"Well, he's with Jo now according to Lacey. I hope he can be happy with her." Judy took another sip of her tea.

"Not hardly." Karen rolled her eyes in disgust. "My son doesn't feel that way over Jo. Honestly, I don't know what Danny is thinking. The boy is getting no sleep and is stressed out over it. I think his father ,as well as the Mastersons, have always made it so embedded in his mind that Jo should be happy even if it cost Danny his own happiness. I am probably just as guilty of that. She was always the little girl to be coddled so much that Vikram and I neglected Danny's feelings for Jo's when she was around. Maybe he's doing what he was raised to do. Put Jo first."

"Why did you and Vikram do that? If you don't mind me asking." Judy crossed her legs listening to Karen for an explanation.

"Mostly because of Tess. I knew about the baby she gave up and I wanted her to feel like a good mother because of that. Therefore, when she spoiled Jo, I allowed it. When Jo wanted something when she was around Danny, she got it. Danny was a baby too but I remember if Jo wanted a toy he was playing with, it was taken away and given to Jo. What Jo wanted, Jo got." Karen grimaced at her own actions. "I had no clue that the child given up by Tess was Vikram and her son. I didn't even know Tara was raising her brother's illegitimate son. All I know is that Vikram placed Jo on a pedestal for Tess. I went along with it as I did most things Vikram wanted. I was always about appearances. I sacrificed my son's happiness to look like the model family. After all, Danny was the kind and sharing child while Jo got all. I felt we looked like this wonderful family. I was so ignorant. Do you think that Danny has to that so ingrained in him to make Jo happy still that he has forgone his own happiness for hers? Like this video, why would it matter to Jo more than our children? What was Danny and Lacey thinking apologizing to her when they should've been supporting each other?"

"I don't know, Karen." Judy frowned as she shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe Danny really does care for Jo like that and he prefers her over Lacey."

At that moment, Danny came bounding into the door with a grin on his face. He stopped short as a frown replaced the grin. "I thought Lacey was here. Is she?"

"No." Judy smiled up at him. "I came to speak to your mother about something important."

"By the way, Danny. Jo called a few times. I told her you didn't make it home yet from soccer practice." Karen winked at Judy to alert her to watch Danny.

"Whatever." Danny placed his bookbag down. "I'll call her later. Ummm is it okay if I call Lacey?" Danny grinned sheepishly. "I mean is she home? History question." He tried to think of a reason to call her.

"She's home." Judy almost chuckled as she watched Danny smile again as he bound up the stairs.

"Yeah. My son prefers Jo over Lacey alright." Karen chuckled as she shook her head.

Judy chuckled back at Karen. "Sarcasm noted."


	9. Chapter 9

_**"Shame was an emotion he had abandoned years earlier. Addicts know no shame. You disgrace yourself so many times you become immune to it."**_

_**―John Grisham,The Testament**_

Danny rubbed up and down his jeans nervously as he watched the older man sat perched on an old milk crate staring at the four year old little boy huddled in the corner. The man flicked his cigarette ashes off as he wiped at the sweat that accumulated on his brow. His fingers were blackened all the way to the tips of his nails.

"I can't believe you brought this one." He growled towards a woman with stringy hair. Her needle marks predominant on her pale ashen skin.

"Don't worry about the kid. I couldn't find a sitter. I thought you said you'd give me what I need." She rocked back and forth on her heels as her body shook in pain for lack of her drug of choice. "Come on, Carl. I need a fix. Give me something ."

"You didn't get the money. Bringing your kid with you messes up my plans. I'm not even sure I can get the money now. Besides, you promised me a fun time for the drugs. How is that supposed to happen with the little brat being here?" He spit so that it landed near the foot of the small boy.

The boy pulled back his foot as he shivered. Danny watched a cockroach crawl across the bare toe of the woman. She never flinched. The man stood up and hunkered down near the small child. He breathed out. The little boy held his breath secretly as he became nauseated by the stench that permeated from the man's mouth. The child noticed his yellowed crooked teeth before the man took a long extended draw from his cigarette. He blew the smoke from his mouth into the little boy's face. The man then squeezed the child's face so tight that the boy felt his jaw pop.

"Leave him alone." Danny defended the boy as it seemed his mother wasn't going to. She was too busy shaking from her lack of drug.

The man laughed haughtily. "You think you're better than me don't ya, kid?" Danny never answered causing the man to let go of the boy and stare at Danny. This elicited a frightened groan from the little boy. "I don't care. It all boils down to if you got my money or not."

Danny saw the man pull out a knife as he flicked it on his blackened fingernails. He sliced through his own finger causing a small amount of blood to trickle down to drop on the small child's white t-shirt. The man laughed as he watched the boy squeeze his eyes shut tightly.

"Bet you never thought going to work with mommy would be this scary. Huh? Kid." He laughed again when tears started to stream down the little boy's face. "Look, Cora, your little boy is crying." The man then took the knife over the kid's stomach. "I can gut you."

"Leave the kid alone or I'll take my money elsewhere." Danny raked his hand through his long hair. It felt greasy to the touch. He hadn't showered in two days. His life took a nose dive out of control when he saw Lacey out more and more with the Perry family, which meant she was out more and more with Isaac. Not to mention the break up with Jo didn't go as planned. NOT AT ALL.

The little boy squirmed as he tried to hold back his fear. The boy's body gave in as he urinated on himself. The man seemed satisfied at that. "Now you stink like the rest of us."

He stood up and stared at the female now seated on the dirty floor of the old apartment. "Get a fix." The man said as he reached in his pocket. He retrieved a large rubber band and a syringe tossing it towards the woman. " Now, to do business with the rich boy here."

"Shooting up or pills?" The man scratched his chin as he eyed Danny up and down. "Nose candy has been your thing. But you're itching to try something new. Stick with the same but mix it so you can shoot it in your veins. Tell me what you've been sniffing."

Danny held out his hand as one of his pills rolled back and forth across his palm. "These. Three or four a day."

"Good stuff." The man rubbed his chin. "I can get you some but it will take a few days."

"I need something now." Danny swallowed the bile that was building in his throat. "These will only work for tonight. I can't come back. I can't get caught by my parole officer."

The man sucked his teeth a few times. "Let me go make a call. It will cost you. But I can see by those threads and the Porsche you pulled up in, you got it. Meet me at the Betty's Diner on 29th street in a half hour." He stopped to stare at Danny. "Why ain't you afraid to come into a place like this, rich boy? What did a fancy boy like you do to have a parole officer? Your habit get you caught?"

"No." Danny fidgeted before glaring at the man. "I killed my aunt and my dad. Now are you going to get me what I want?"

The man marched out of the room realizing that Danny wasn't one to mess with. The little boy relaxed a little before glancing up at his mom. Her darkened eyes stared at the boy before crawling over to grab the needle and rubber band. She immediately went to work trying to get her fix. She peered at the kid swallowing hard.

"I love you, baby boy. But mommy needs this." She said before sticking the needle deep within her arm. She sighed with a grin. Her eyes became glassy. "What's your name again? Sometimes I forget your name when I'm like this."

The little boy glanced at Danny. "She won't remember me for a while." His small voice sounded so frightened.

"Why don't you come with me to get something to eat?" Danny bent down and rubbed the boy's dirty hair from his face. "Are you hungry?"

The little boy nodded as Danny picked him up in his arms. Danny placed him on his waist and carried him out of the old apartment. The child ate heartily before the drug dealer showed up to give Danny what he needed for a fix. The child then was left by Danny after calling 911 anonymously about an abandoned child. Danny watched secretly down the street for the police to arrive. He waited until they carried the boy out before he left .

Back at his house, Danny wiped his nose from a small trail of blood. He locked his bedroom door as he tied the rubber band around his upper arm. He had purchased the heroine that begged to be tried by him. Danny's hand shook as he placed the needle against his vein. His memories haunted him of the day he broke up with Jo. Or better of when he tried to break up with Jo.

_************Flashback A Few Weeks Prior***************_

_"Hey, Lace." Danny knew that Judy was downstairs still talking to Karen. Therefore, he called Lacey. "Can we talk for a second?"_

_"Sure, Danny." Lacey smiled even though she knew it was better to let those feelings for Danny go. She still enjoyed the butterflies she got at hearing his voice._

_"I want to break up with Jo." He blurted out before he lost the nerve to say it to Lacey. "I don't feel like that towards her. She's like a sister. I don't know what I was thinking. I want out of this relationship. Jo is not you, Lace. She never will be to me what you were."_

_"OH." Lacey grinned to herself even though she feigned an uncaring attitude. "Why are you telling me this?"_

_"Because, I need your help." Danny swallowed hoping that Lacey didn't find his request offensive. He needed a friend. As far as he was concerned, she was the only one he had. "I never broke up with anyone before. I guess I don't want to break Jo's heart like mine broke with us ending. Can you give me advice?"_

_"Your ex girlfriend isn't the best choice for this, Danny." Lacey bit her lip trying to contain the elation she felt at Danny's confiding in her about Jo. "I'm sure you've heard the saying about a band aide hurts less if you just tear it off quickly. I suggest you tell her and don't wait around until it hurts worse. If you really don't care for Jo in a romantic sense..."_

_"I don't. Believe me. NOT AT ALL." Danny interrupted making his point clear on that subject._

_"Then tell her." Lacey threw herself back against the pillows on her bed. "It will hurt her far less in the long run than leading her on."_

_"Thanks, Lace." Danny kicked off his shoes getting comfortable. He pulled off his jacket causing the pills to fall from it. He smiled as he picked up the bottle. "Can we talk awhile?"_

_"Sure. What about?" Lacey twisted a lock of her hair around her finger._

_"Nothing and everything." Danny chuckled slightly. "I just love hearing your voice."_

_He placed the bottle in his nightstand. Tonight, he didn't need a pill to make him happy. The happiness came easy when Lacey was spending time with him._

_Jack stood at Danny's door listening to his conversation with Lacey. He balled up his fist as he turned to go. He found Whitney curled up in her new bedroom in the Desai house reading a teen magazine. He shut the door to his daughter's room as he spoke to her with an agitated voice._

_"I thought you had Danny under control, Whitney." Jack crossed his arms as he stared at his daughter._

_"What gives?" Whitney tossed down her magazine as she shrugged. "He has been taking at least a pill a night to sleep. He'll be hooked in no time. That stuff is laced with heroine."_

_"Well, he's going to break up with Jo." Jack paced back and forth._

_"Isn't that a good thing." Whitney's brow furrowed. "He won't have anyone."_

_"You're naïve sometimes, Whit." Jack rolled his eyes at his daughter. "Jo makes him miserable. Misery loves company. The company being a drug."_

_"Fine. I get it. But I can't make Danny like sloppy Jo." Whitney sighed. "Now can I?"_

_"No. But here is what you're going to do." Jack smiled maliciously._

_The next day, Whitney approached Jo in the hall between the gymnasium and the lunch room. "Jo, we need to talk."_

_Jo glanced at Whitney puzzled but followed her to a private alcove. "What do you want, Whitney?"_

_"Danny is getting ready to break up with you." Whitney placed her hands on her hips._

_"I know." Jo scuffed her foot against the tile floor. "Did he send you to do it for him? I've been avoiding him. He wants Lacey back. Doesn't he?"_

_Whitney chortled with an edge of menace laced with her laugh. "Jo, he's always wanted Lacey. It is that simple. But I know that he doesn't need Lacey. He needs you."_

_"I know that too. But Danny is too hung up on Lacey to know I'm the better girl for him." Jo was happy someone finally understood that she deserved Danny and Lacey didn't._

_"You are. You deserve him. You've stuck by Danny through all of his issues. Lacey tries to change Danny but you accept him as he is." Whitney pulled a bottle of pills from her purse. "I found these in Danny's room. I think he's been taking them. The only time he doesn't take them is when he is talking to Lacey. She's like his addiction."_

_"What are you saying?" Jo questioned as she took the pills from Whitney._

_"I'm saying that these are for Danny's depression but he thinks that Lacey wouldn't accept his mental health issues. So he won't take them when he's trying to hook back up with her." Whitney shrugged. "Or maybe they are just pills to get high on. He never told me what they were for. I am assuming they are to get sleep and fight of his nightmares. Anyway, I don't want Danny hooked on drugs. But I also don't want Lacey pulling him away from you. If these aren't prescription, that means Danny is breaking the law. Which means he'll go back to juvie. I thought you'd know what to do with the drugs more than I would." Whitney sighed out with fake concern. "Lacey is driving him crazy as he battles with his demons. He can't be the person she wants him to be. She doesn't accept the real Danny like you do."_

_Whitney walked off when she spotted Danny walking onto school campus. She approached him. "Jo is over there, Danny."_

_Danny half smiled as he approached Jo. "Hey. I think we've been avoiding each other."_

_"You don't want to break up with me, Danny." Jo drew in air as she stated the sentence like it was fact. "You're just confused."_

_"I'm not, Jo." Danny took her hand. "I'm not. You're like my sister. I don't want to be with you like ..."_

_"Like you were with Lacey?" Jo stated between clinched teeth. "That is all you know, Danny. Freakin' Lacey Porter. You are never going to be the boy good enough for her. Why can't you see that?" Jo shoved the pills into Danny's chest. "How would your darling Lacey like to know you've been taking these?"_

_"Where did you get these?" Danny jerked the pills from Jo's hand. "Did Whitney..."_

_"Does it really matter how I know, Danny." Jo poked her finger in Danny's chest. "I wonder how my dad would like to know that Danny Desai is on drugs. Isn't that a violation of your parole?"_

_"What are you saying?" Danny swallowed as his heart raced._

_"I'm saying that you're just confused, Danny. You don't really want to break up with me. Do you?" Jo felt tears well up in her eyes. She knew that Danny belonged to her. She always got what she wanted when it came do Danny. That would never change if she could do anything about it. "You're not good enough for Lacey because she doesn't know the real you. I do, Danny. And I am the girl that accepts anything that comes with being your girlfriend. Even if you have to take a pill once in a while to forget all the drama you've had to live with. I'm that girl, Danny."_

_Danny shook his head back and forth as he stared at the bottle of pills in his hand. "Jo, I don't feel that way at all about you. I don't want to even kiss you. It feels wrong."_

_"We can work that out. But you are going to stay my boyfriend because you don't want to face things without me." Jo pouted slightly. "I'd hate to have to tell Dad about your new habit. I'd feel obligated to do that if I didn't know you'd be fine. If you keep dating me, I know you'll be fine. I'm good for you, Danny. You'll see."_

_With those words, Jo walked off as Danny felt his stomach turn. He closed his eyes as he gripped tighter to the pill bottle in his hand._

Danny stuck the needle in with a slight grimace. Shortly after, burning spread up his arm causing his whole body to relax as it warmed up. Danny's eyelids grew heavy as he leaned against the headboard of his bed. Danny knew at that very moment drugs were no longer a comfort for him. They were a necessity to his body. He was an addict.


	10. Chapter 10

**"_The priority of any addict is to anaesthetise the pain of living to ease the passage of day with some purchased relief."_**

**―Russell Brand**

Isaac smiled as he handed Lacey the white paint. "Here. You're amazing at this."

"Thanks." Lacey smiled revealing her dimples. "I've not painted in years. Okay, I'm only sixteen but in 6th grade I had a teacher who really influenced me to love art. I needed an outlet from life and art was it. I guess I miss the feeling of creating art." She held up her hand defensively. "I know these are only props for the church play. But I'm really enjoying it."

"Me too." Isaac peered deeply at Lacey. He stated in a flirty manner. "It could be the company though."

Lacey felt her face heat up with a joyful embarrassment. She bit her lip as she glanced down at her paintbrush. "Thanks." She said in a hushed whisper. "I enjoy time with you too. You're a great friend."

"Ouch." Isaac teased as he placed his hand dramatically over his heart. "I've been friendzoned rather quickly by a gorgeous girl."

"Isaac, I love my time with you and your family." Lacey sat back on her haunches as she held the dripping paintbrush in front of her. "But my life has been complicated for so long, I want to relax now that God has came into it. I'm sorry."

"Hold up, Lace." Isaac crossed his muscular arms over his broad chest. "I don't mind that I'm just your friend. I hope someday you may see me as more. But being your friend is good for me too. You feel how you feel. It is an honor and privilege to have you as a friend." He winked. "Even if I've never been friendzoned by a girl before."

"Please don't call me Lace. Only one person calls me that. By the way, I'm glad we're friends." Lacey breathed out as she bent back down to paint again. "I'm not sure how things will go in our future. But it wouldn't be fair to even entertain the idea of a boyfriend or dating anyone when…" She stopped short of finishing her sentence.

Isaac reached to squeeze Lacey's hand. "Look at me, Lacey."

Lacey glanced up with a weak smile. "What?"

"You still love Danny. I can tell. There is nothing wrong with that. He's a lucky guy even if he's too blind to see it. You're worthy of being honored and cherished." Isaac said with utmost sincerity. " Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10."

"I'm not so virtuous, Isaac." Lacey fluttered her eyelashes trying to keep her tears at bay. "I've been with Danny. I don't want to make you think…"

"I wasn't thinking anything like that." Isaac sat back revealing a slight smile. "I am not your judge. I could care less if you've been with many boys or one or even none. Who you are and how I value you is based on who I'm looking at and I see a virtuous woman."

"Just Danny by the way." Lacey chuckled feeling ashamed for bringing it up at all. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"Thanks for confiding in me." Isaac smirked before splashing Lacey with some yellow paint. "I like that you can talk to me. Miriam said she loves being a close friend too. We're all glad we met you."

"Please.." Lacey giggled. "You've had it now!"

Lacey squealed as she tried to dodge more colored liquid. She soon threw a stream of blue paint Isaac's way. They both continued the paint fight until both were covered in the gooey paint meant for the props. The teens threw themselves back against the floor as their bodies gave out to exhaustion. The both giggled hysterically even in their tired state.

Danny walked through the door of the church recreation center carrying a box. He stared over at Lacey and Isaac laying on the floor laughing. Anna Perry walked up to Danny with a bounce in her step.

"Can I help you, young man?" She remembered Danny from the diner earlier that month.

Danny had problems pulling his eyes away from looking in the direction of Lacey and Isaac. "Ummm. My mom said to bring these items here."

Anna followed Danny's gaze. "Ignore those two. They seem to have forgot the paint goes on the boards rather than each other."

Danny closed his eyes as he lifted the box slightly. He turned from Lacey and Isaac. "Anyway, Judy Porter told mom about some type of church rummage sale for the homeless of New York City. I have a car full of clothes and old items to donate."

"Thanks." Anna boisterously yelled across the church recreation room. "Isaac, get Matthew to help you get some things from this young man's car."

Isaac jumped up then reached out his hand to Lacey. She pulled up by his hand causing their bodies to collide. They both laughed again with giddiness. Danny felt his whole world shatter even more. However, part of him, the biggest part, was happy to see Lacey smiling and carefree.

Lacey noticed Danny standing there with his arms folded around a box. She had avoided him for almost a month now. She avoided him the day after the phone call due to him still dating Jo after his confession to her. She wasn't going to let Danny pull her down again. Especially now that she felt Jesus had picked her up. However, when Lacey saw Danny, their eyes met with equal intensity of the past. She felt drawn to talk to him. Isaac and she approached Danny.

"Here let me get this." Isaac took the box from Danny. "I'll go get my brother to help. I'm Isaac, by the way. I know we've met before but I wanted to reintroduce myself."

"Danny. Danny Desai." Danny nodded friendly towards Isaac. Isaac smiled genuinely before walking away to find Matthew and place the box in the storage room of the church.

Anna bubbly added as she noticed the intense stare between Danny and Lacey. "Well, I see you two know one another. Danny, you should come to our youth meeting on Wednesday night. The teens have a blast."

"You really should." Lacey grinned as she looked puzzled at Danny.

"I don't believe in God, Ma'am." Danny dropped his head as he stared feeling shame at his words.

"Well, God believes in you." Anna stated unfazed by Danny's admittance. "And you're still welcome."

Anna patted Danny's shoulder before leaving to organize the items Karen had sent. Matthew and Isaac had been carrying box after box in.

"Are you okay, Danny?" Lacey touched her palm to Danny's forehead. She had noticed his eyes had dark shadows under them and his face looked slightly thinner."You look like you're not feeling well. Have you lost weight?"

"I'm fine, Lace." Danny stated in a breathy voice. The way Danny said her name caused a prickle to skittish across Lacey's spinal cord. "I'm glad you're happy, Lace. You look so good. Church has done well for you."

"It has." Lacey took Danny's hand unexpectedly. She rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand. "I miss you. I hope you know that."

Danny couldn't resist cupping Lacey's cheek with his palm. "I miss you too. More than you know. But I'm not worth missing, Lacey. Trust me."

Lacey closed her eyes as she relished in the touching of her skin by Danny's hand. She said a silent prayer for strength and the right words to say to Danny. Then Lacey gave up her will power and wrapped her arms around Danny's waist pulling him into a hug.

"Don't talk like that, Danny. You're worth a lot to me." Her arms tightened around Danny's waist as she breathed in his scent. Lacey could tell he was freshly showered. Danny's scent always sent shivers throughout her body.

Danny knew he should pull away but although Lacey didn't need him, he needed her. He wanted this moment more than anything at the moment. It reminded him of the only time he was happy since the day that Tara took her last breath. His arms wrapped around Lacey as he pulled her closer to press into the hug.

"I want you happy, Lace." Danny whispered as he held her. "That is all that matters now."

Lacey never said a word as she allowed Danny and her the friendly embrace. She didn't care that the Perry family could see her with Danny. She didn't care about appearances at all. God knew her heart anyway. Therefore, God knew that her heart still belonged to Danny.

Reverend John Perry came out of the Pastor's office. He saw his oldest son looking at Lacey wrapped in the arms of the boy, known as Danny. He patted his son's shoulder.

"She's a beautiful girl, Isaac. Inside and out. All boys can't help but to notice. That includes Danny Desai."

"I know." Isaac shrugged as he cheerfully stated. "I wish I had met her first is all."

"Why don't you take more boxes to the storage room?" John suggested hoping his son wouldn't have to see Lacey embraced in Danny's arms any longer.

Isaac left at his dad's suggestion. Anna sighed out as she folded some donated clothing on to a long table.

"It has to be difficult to be in love that young and have so much going against you." Anna added as she placed a blouse in the clothing bay.

"I'm sure Lacey will do fine." John leaned against the cinder block wall as he spoke to his wife.

"That girl is strong willed and has unusual faith." Anna agreed. "It is that lost soul hugging her that I'm worried about. He's in a real dark place."

John nodded in agreement. "He is. Which means for his and Lacey's sake, we should make sure to add him into our prayers."

Danny gave Lacey one last squeeze. "I should go. Mom wants you to go try on the dress for her wedding at Belle's Dress Boutique when you can. I was supposed to tell you yesterday but you were with your new friends. I didn't want to interrupt."

Lacey stepped back giving Danny room. "You should've joined us. You'd really like them Danny."

"People like them don't want people like me around." Danny glanced at his feet as he shuffled them slightly.

"I'm people like them now, Danny." Lacey raked her hand down Danny's arm. "And I want you around."

Danny looked up. His finger touched Lacey's cheek. "Let me rephrase that. People like you don't need people like me around." Before Lacey could protest Danny's words, he pressed his index finger against her lips to hush her. "I've lied a lot, Lacey. But you're going to have to trust me on this one."

With those words, Danny turned and walked out leaving Lacey worried and emotionally saddened for him.

Lacey whispered as she closed her eyes. "Protect him, God. Please. I feel something is wrong. I don't know what but You do. So I ask that you protect him and help him through this."


	11. Chapter 11

"_**There comes a time. The pain of existence transcends the fear of change. There comes a time."**_

―_**Moshe Kasher**__**,**__**Kasher in the Rye: The True Tale of a White Boy from Oakland Who Became a Drug Addict, Criminal, Mental Patient, and Then Turned 16**_

Lacey stood in the corner fanning her face. Her yellow dress clung to her perspiring body. She couldn't believe that Karen Desai had asked her of all people to stand with her as maid of honor. Karen had met Lacey at the dress shop a few days earlier and explained she wanted her for that person due to helping her son regain his life. The wedding was simple to everyone's surprise. Karen only invited very few people that were important in her life. Danny had even offered to pay for Karen an extravagant wedding. She denied wanting one. She had no interest in a flashy wedding. She had done that with Vikram. She refused to go that path again to show off for people that she didn't care about. Instead, she was given an elaborate honeymoon to Italy by her son. Karen's mother, Lois Patterson, agreed to stay for two weeks with Danny and Whitney while her daughter and her new son in law went on their honeymoon.

"Yellow like a canary." Whitney chuckled with a burp as she pointed to Lacey's dress.

The dress was actually a pale yellow and was very elegant. Karen did a good job picking out a dress to fit Lacey's beautiful figure. Danny and Lacey looked even more attractive as they walked linked arm in arm to the arch in McNally park. They had a few people awing at them. Jo was busy pouting angrily. However, Karen stole the show in her beautiful wedding gown.

"You're too young to drink." Lacey sighed out in exasperation. She realized that sounded hypocritical considering that she had taken in alcohol on more than one occasion. She no longer frequented that type of scene with teenagers. It was very odd that she didn't miss that at all. Her new church friends were much more interesting to hang around. Lacey could be herself more around them." Chief Masterson is here. Be careful he doesn't catch you."

Kyle Masterson was the only one of the Mastersons that Karen invited. Tess was no longer considered a friend due to the illicit affair with Vikram years earlier and Jo seemed to cause Danny more depression when she was around. Kyle came despite Tess's and Jo's protest. Finally, Kyle asked Karen if he could bring Jo along as his guest. Reluctantly, Karen caved to his request because she had hoped Danny would get to spend time with Lacey. Karen never saw her son smile genuinely since Lacey and he had broken up.

"So what. Masterson doesn't scare me. I'm hot. Let's go skinny dipping in Crater Lake and blow this popsicle joint."

"I can't do that. I go to church now, Whitney. I don't think swimming naked goes with that. Someone could see us. "Lacey joked because she still enjoyed being around Whitney. She winked. "Are you trying to get me naked?" Lacey glanced up to see Karen dancing with her new husband. Lacey had to admit Karen looked totally intoxicated with Jack Taylor. Jack seemed to be as equally infatuated.

"I'm not trying to get you naked. I do have someone else in mind for that." Whitney pointed to herself. "I brought some colored condoms." Whitney wiggled her eyebrows. "I thought I might get my step bro to really become part of the family."

"Gross. Not happening, Whitney. He's dating Jo. As you said, Danny is your step brother now." Lacey pushed back her sweaty hair that clung to her equally sweaty face. She wanted to change the subject quickly. "Karen looks gorgeous. Doesn't she?"

Whitney glanced back over her shoulder. "Yeah, for an old broad." Whitney slurred slightly. "Danny doesn't want Jo. I thought you knew that Danny only wants YOU. He's a junkie loving Lacey."

Lacey glanced towards Danny. He was loosening his yellow tie. At least he got to wear gray and not all yellow like Lacey was decked out in. Jack had made him best man. He looked as uncomfortable as she felt. However, when he loosened the top button of his gray shirt, Lacey gulped. He was so handsome. Lacey didn't understand why no girl at school with the exception of her, Regina, and Jo noticed him. Of course, it could be the girls were like her. They kept it hidden. Lacey felt that was what led to her and Danny's relationship being over. She had kept him hidden until it was too late to fix the hurt that had been done to their relationship.

Lacey wondered what Whitney meant about Danny not wanting Jo. Danny had told her the same on the phone less than a month ago. Jo and Danny had been best friends forever. Lacey was part of the trio again until Danny decided to date Jo. What happened to him not breaking up with Jo?

Lacey watched as Jo pulled Danny towards her table. He just seemed to do whatever Jo had in mind for him. Danny had became more introvert and mysterious since his father's death. If that was possible. He just wanted left alone.

Soon the day was ending. Karen and Jack were packing to head out on the honeymoon. Lois had already retired to the guest room with tv remote in hand. She didn't want to miss her nighttime soap operas. Lacey, Whitney and Danny sat in the living room in full wedding attire. Lacey was supposed to stay the night at the Desais due to her mother having to take care of a few things for Karen such as paying the caterer and tying up loose ends with the clean up personnel for the wedding. Judy also had to get Clara on a plane to Seattle to spend Spring Break with her father. Judy was going to stay the weekend with Anna, John, and Blake in New York at a Pastors meeting. Of course, Judy was staying in her own room. Lacey didn't protest as she didn't want to go to Seattle due to some church youth group activities she was supposed to attend in a few days.

Karen came down stairs followed by Jack carrying the last of their luggage. She stopped to say goodbye to the teens.

Whitney fiddled with her small bouquet of flowers that Karen gave her. She stated bluntly. "I hope Danny doesn't interrupt the sleepover you promised I could have. My new friends are coming over and some do not like Danny."

"I'll tell Danny to leave you alone. My mother won't bother you girls either. She'll be in the other guest room away from all of you. Lacey, there is a room for you as well. There are snacks left over from the wedding." Karen kissed Whitney's cheek.

"Nonsense. Whitney is just going to have to get used to the idea she now has a brother." Jack crossed his arms looking at Whitney.

"Technically. It would be a step brother." Whitney noticed Jack's warning stare. "But Karen being like a mother to me. I see your point."

"I knew you would." Karen kissed Whitney's cheek. Then she gave a hug to Lacey and Danny. Jack hugged Whitney and shook Danny's hand. Then off they went.

"Stay in your room and don't bother us." Whitney warned. She was tired of playing nice with Danny and Karen for her Dad's plan. She wanted to act like a teen girl for once. She was actually excited to have Lacey, Sarita, and a few other girls over. She hoped to mend fences with Lacey.

"Like I really want to be around your friends, Whitney. " Danny kicked a rock fighting the urge to kick Whitney to the curb. Since she gave him the drugs, Danny had realized Whitney wasn't such a great person like his mother thought she was. He wondered if Jack knew his real daughter or if Jack was like her. Even if Danny had been doing himself harm with the drugs, he was still intelligent enough to see that Whitney was trying to get him hooked. Danny realized she didn't have to try too hard. Danny hoped that Jack was the man he seemed. He wanted his mother happy. Besides, Jack was like a father figure to him now.

Whitney marched off to get ready for her school friends to come over. That left Danny with Lacey standing in the driveway.

"Why do you do that?" Lacey kicked a rock to match Danny's movements.

"Kick rocks?"

"No, Danny. Quit being so evasive. Why do you just give in to her without a fight? I see you do it with everyone lately. You could say..'this is my house too. I'll go where I want.' or 'Make me.' Something more than okay. What happened to the Danny who pushed back?"

"Why? It would only cause mom problems. Having Whitney in the family isn't my choice." Danny's shoulders slumped. "I won't bother you and your friends."

"Listen." Lacey chased behind Danny as he walked away. "I can help you clean up your room or work on school work. I don't really want to spend the night with those girls. I'm not exactly on their list of friends. I wanted to stay with Miriam Perry but they're gone for the weekend visiting their grandparents."

"I guess you want to spend time with Isaac. I already did my homework. It is only the beginning of Spring Break. I'm sure you'll get to spend plenty of time with Isaac." Danny tried to march off but Lacey grabbed his shoulder. Danny turned to Lacey. "What do you want from me, Lace?"

Lacey shrugged. "I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I wanted to stay with Miriam. She's my best friend now. Isaac is my friend too."

"You didn't hurt my feelings, Lace." Danny walked away defeated.

Lacey sighed out. She turned to see Sarita pulling up with the other girls.

"Hey, where is tall dark and dorky going?" Patricia, one of Sarita's new members to her entourage, climbed out of the SUV followed by two other girls. They were the popular girls. Lacey Porter was once the top of the list of popularity but thanks to her relationship with Danny, she wasn't on the list any more. Sarita Sanchez was second being Lacey's best friend at one time. Now Sarita took reign since Lacey fell from grace. Phoebe Lewis was there due to money. Patricia Fordman due to family association put her on the list. Last but not least was Carman Santiga.

"To his room." Lacey said. "He promised not to bother you all."

"Honey, that boy can bother me all he wants." Carman said.

"What?" Sarita turned to glare at Carman. "You're kidding right?"

"You're the one kidding yourself. Look at him. He might not be the popular crowd but his face is heavenly." Carman added. "I wonder what he looks like under all those clothes."

"Ask Lacey." Sarita quipped as she pulled her overnight bag from the trunk. "She's seen it all. Right, Lacey?"

Lacey ignored the girls as they began to giggle as they headed in to the living room. Whitney came bounding in as she was already dressed in casual sleep ware. They soon were stocked up with sodas and snacks. They huddled around the television set staring at a _One Direction_ video that Patricia had brought over. They were debating on the best looking in the group. Zayn won out all but to Sarita, who chose Naill. The fire in the fireplace was all the light they had on.

Danny tried to walk quietly down the steps so he didn't bother them. Whitney winked at the rest of the girls. She shook up her soda drink vigorously.

"Watch and learn, Ladies. Watch and learn." She stated.

"I'm sorry." Danny said when all the girls turned to stare. "I was just getting something to eat."

"No problem, Danny." Lacey leaned on her elbow. She had no idea why she was even hanging in the living room with these girls.

"Uuuum, Danny." Whitney beckoned him with her finger. "I can't get the top off my soda. Will you?" Sweet and flirty.

"Sure." Danny walked over and took the bottle.

Lacey wanted to warn him. But it was too late. Danny popped off the top soaking his shirt in the spray of soda. The girls were ready to laugh. Instead, silence filled the room. An occasional swallow was heard.

There stood Danny Desai with soda causing his white t-shirt to stick to his chest. The lights of the fire cascading over every glorious muscle. He had thinned some earlier due to the drugs but now was still nicely built due to vigorous workouts he had been doing trying to keep his mind off things. Danny ran his sticky hand through his sticky hair causing all the girls to lick their lips. Danny looked up embarrassed.

Lacey was the first to come to her senses. She thought the girls looked like a pack of ravenous dogs and Danny was a juicy steak. Even Sarita couldn't take her eyes off of Danny.

"Danny!" Lacey jumped up. "You should get that shirt off."

Lacey wasn't thinking as she pulled off Danny's shirt without his permission. She was just thinking of the clinging material. Little did she realize she was leading the pack of dogs to more thoughts of devouring Danny. What lies beneath was even better than the sticky shirt. Sticky skin.

"I better go shower." Danny could feel his face burning red. They must all think he was a moron. No wonders Lacey wanted to stay away from him. Since killing his dad, Danny had became a laughing stock so he thought.

Danny walked up the stairs slowly until his feet hit the fourth step. Then he sprinted.

"OH my!" Patricia was the first to speak. "A killer with a body of Adonis. That boy needs a serious girlfriend makeover. No wonders Masterson is constantly all over him. I bet she's had a piece of that man candy."

The girls giggled in unison. They settled down. Sarita glanced at Lacey. "We all know Lacey has."

"Lacey, why are you still in that yellow dress?" Whitney asked trying to give Lacey an out from Sarita's jeers.

"I don't know. Things happening too fast. I meant to bath before the video was on. I'll take a quick shower and be back." Lacey stood and headed upstairs.

"If I were her…" Carman waited until Lacey was out of earshot. "I'd conserve water and take one with Danny."

Sarita practically growled out. "She's probably been there and done that."

Lacey walked up the stairs. She peeked into Danny's room as she passed by. She noticed he had already taken a quick shower and was wrapped in a towel. She also noticed Danny had a bottle in his hands. He poured out a few pills. Lacey's mouth dropped open when she saw Danny pop it into his mouth. He then flopped on the bed with a blank look on his face.

Lacey couldn't believe the her Danny was on drugs. Perhaps, that was just medicine for sickness or something. But Lacey felt in her gut that there was something wrong when she saw Danny swallow the pills.

Danny looked up from his bed. "What are you looking at?"

"Sorry. I just…" Lacey stammered. "I want to shower but my zipper is stuck. It is at the top. Could you?"

What was she doing? She hadn't thought of a very good excuse. She definitely didn't want Danny to know she was watching him. Lacey walked into the room and stood with her back to Danny. He grinned as he stood from his bed. He lightly touched her shoulder.

"Uuum." Lacey gulped. "It is just the first part. A piece of material caught. If you could just take it down an inch, I'd appreciate it."

"I'm sure you would." Danny smirked.

Lacey could see him in the mirror. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing, Lacey." Danny unzipped Lacey's dress slowly. He took the zipper all the way to Lacey's waist. Her eyes grew big as she peered in the mirror.

Danny looked up to meet her stare. He slowly pushed the yellow material off her shoulders.

"Danny!" Lacey felt her breath catch in her chest.

"I always thought you wore lace rather than cotton. Was that just for me before?" Danny ran his finger under her bra strap.

"I…" Lacey could feel her face flush hot. She knew in her new Christian belief, she should stop him. However, she felt weak to his touch.

A simple graze of his finger across her shoulder under her bra strap had her chest heaving. Danny kept his eyes centered in on Lacey's in the mirror. He leaned and whispered into Lacey's ear.

"Are you going to tease me anymore, Lacey? You and your friends think it's funny teasing me?" Danny's hot breath burned Lacey's inner ear.

"No." Lacey swallowed. "I wasn't trying…"

"I know what you were trying to do." Danny pushed her dress to her waist. Lacey stood exposed in only her bra from waist up. "Now guess what I'm trying to do."


	12. Chapter 12

**"_What is addiction, really? It is a sign, a signal, a symptom of distress. It is a language that tells us about a plight that must be understood."_**

**―_Alice Miller__,__Breaking Down the Wall of Silence: The Liberating Experience of Facing Painful Truth_**

"Lacey, where are the Blue Ranch chi….ips?" Phoebe stood with her mouth gaped open gawking into Danny's room. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Was she going to be privy to another Danny and Lacey sexy moment? Only this time it was in person and not on a video.

Lacey grabbed her dress and pulled it up over her partially exposed body. She darted from Danny. She never stopped until she reached Phoebe. She only briefly stopped then to grab Phoebe's hand and run.

SLAM! The bedroom ,where she was staying , door shut with a thud. Danny chuckled then shut his own door. A smile crept across his face. Lacey jumped into the middle of her bed. Her feet went under her. Her hands went to her face as shame hit her.

"What in the world was going on?" Phoebe sat down next to Lacey. She started to rub up and down Lacey's back trying to be a comforting friend.

"I don't know. Something isn't right." Lacey looked up with tears threatening her dark brown eyes. "He unzipped my dress."

"Obviously." Phoebe rolled her eyes as sarcasm poured from her mouth.

"No…" Lacey inhaled. "I saw him in the towel. I…"

"Calm down, Lacey. It would be hard not to look. He is fine. A killer but fine." Phoebe smiled sideways. "I'm sorry that sounded like Sarita. Danny is good looking. There is no denying that. Not to mention you two have a history."

"He caught me looking so I said I needed him to help me with my zipper. I said only an inch or two…" Lacey composed herself trying to make an excuse for her earlier actions. She had an onslaught of guilt hit her. Therefore, she felt compelled to tell Phoebe her excuses. Although at the moment, she wished it was Miriam she was talking to. Miriam might understand Lacey's guilt more. "Danny just smirked and unzipped it all the way. Then he took it off to my waist."

"You didn't stop him?" Phoebe grinned teasingly. "Seriously, Lacey. You know you still have feelings for him."

"It's not that. He'd dating Jo now. I have no right and he doesn't either." Lacey squared back her shoulders. "Danny can't try to seduce me and think I'll fall for it."

"This is Danny. He'd never hurt you." Phoebe assured her. "Everyone is confused with him and Jo dating considering how the boy still stares at you."

"Danny is using me." Lacey felt herself getting angry. "I guess Jo won't be intimate with him so he is trying to use me as a back up for sex."

"Danny? No way." Phoebe shook her head. "My opinion is that he was very embarrassed by what Whitney pulled. Danny probably thought you were in on it because...well..you were the one to jump up. He saw you were checking him out and the boy has some major bravery and played you back. Danny is charming when he wants to be. You're the only person who causes Danny a little doubt in that charm. Besides, Jo isn't so innocent. For your information, she slept with Tyler right after the video of you and Danny was sent all over school."

"What?" Lacey shook her head. That was definitely news to her. It made Jo seem like a complete hypocrite over her reaction to Danny and her keeping their sexual relationship from Jo. "Well, if Danny and she are having sex now. I'll never forgive them. I admit resenting them now but I'm trying to be their friend." Lacey began to chuckle."I sound like I still am dating him. Sorry. Anyway. I guess you're right about Danny paying us back. I'm sure he wouldn't cheat on Jo with me. He had his chance with me and chose her." She laughed at herself. "The chips are in the upper cabinet. I'm going to take a quick shower."

"I'll see you later." Phoebe stood up to walk away. "By the way, I'm glad we're still friends. I'm sorry for ignoring you lately. I didn't know where we stood as friends after all that happened. You'll always be my friend, Lacey. Oh. Lock the door. Although I'm not sure who is more likely to make sexual advances, you or Danny."

"Leave me alone." Lacey threw a pillow towards the door as Phoebe walked out. She then stood up and locked it.

Lacey sighed because she knew that she was frightened of herself as much as Danny. Her caring for him almost had her begging him to continue. If Phoebe hadn't arrived, would she have stopped him?

Lacey made her way back down stairs after showering and pulling on some comfortable clothes. She noticed all the girls gathering their things to head to Whitney's room. They were all laughing. A knock on the door startled the girls out of their giggling mode. Lacey went to answer the door.

"Hi. Is Danny home?" Jo Masterson stood with her hand on her hip.

"Yes. He is upstairs." Lacey smiled trying to befriend an old friend despite the betrayal she felt when she thought of Danny and Jo as a couple.

Jo followed Lacey to the living room. She rolled her eyes at seeing Carman and Patricia, who both were on the cheerleading squad. "A meeting of the pom pom brigade. Is the debate still going on how to spell fight? For the record it is spelled with an I.G.H.T. and not I.T.E."

Patricia gave Jo a dirty look. Lacey decided to get Jo out of there before her eyes were clawed out. They all had new nails to do it too.

"Danny." Lacey pecked on his door. "Danny."

"Coming back for more?" Danny opened the door with a mischievous grin. At least this time, he had sleep pants on .

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jo frowned as she angrily glanced between Lacey and Danny.

"Nothing. Lacey was just mad at me earlier. I figured she was here to tell me to turn down my music or something." Danny winked at Lacey behind Jo's back.

"I wanted to tell you that that Tyler wants his money." Jo sat down.

"Shut up, Jo." Danny warned her about speaking in front of Lacey.

"_Ms. Holier Than Thou _doesn't know what we're talking about." Jo looked towards Lacey. Lacey's eye twitched angrily at Jo's insult.

Lacey turned to leave. "I don't have to deal with you two. You both can have each other."

Danny grabbed Lacey's shoulder. "Don't call her that, Jo." He then looked at Lacey. "Sorry."

Lacey glanced at Danny. "About everything?"

"Yeah. I was…Just sorry." Danny smiled sideways. He sighed. The drug hadn't really had much affect on him. However, it was all he had at the time. "I guess we're already messing up more and more of the friendship."

"Friends don't act like that, Danny." Lacey turned from Danny again.

"I know. I really am…"

"Sorry. She gets it. Now lets get down to business. Bye, Lacey." Jo flopped on the bed as she kicked off her shoes.

Lacey walked out briskly. Danny turned to Jo angrily. If looks could kill, Jo would be gasping for air about that moment.

"What?" Jo laughed. "Did you see how disgusted she was?"

"Yeah. I did. She thinks we're having …doing things." Danny sat on the edge of the bed.

"I thought you were going to take a little happy pill. It always puts you in a better mood." Jo shrugged nonchalantly. "Besides, aren't we supposed to be a couple. Why does it matter what Lacey thinks? You're my boyfriend now."

"We're not having sex, Jo. Stop pushing for that. I'm being your d#*n boyfriend in name only. You know I don't want you that way." Danny raked his hand through his hair anxiously. "Did you bring what I asked for?"

"Come on, Danny. If you would just give us a chance." She noticed Danny's agitated face. "Did I bring the pills? Got it. Of course I did." Jo sat up and tossed the bottle of pills to Danny "I don't get it. Lacey thinks she's better than you. I'll take you as is."

"I don't want to talk about it. I took a pill or two and it's not enough." Danny crushed the pills on his dresser right in front of Jo. He threw a rolled up bunch of money to Jo before rolling one of the larger bills into a straw form.

Jo stuck the money in her pocket. She bit her lip. "Are you really going to do that in front of me?"

"Just get me the drugs. I need them." Danny ran his hand over his face. "I don't like Tyler selling drugs to kids at school. He could get put away for that."

"Well, you could spend time in juvenile or prison for buying them or using them. So whatever." Jo quipped.

Danny rolled his eyes as he readied to snort the crushed pills. He glanced up. "If you don't like seeing this, leave or look away."

Jo watched feeling uncomfortable as Danny sniffed up the crushed powder. She blinked back tears as she stared at him. She fidgeted with her buttons on her blouse.

"Thanks. Sh#*, I needed that." Danny stated again before falling back into his computer chair.

"I understand, 've said it a half dozen times. YOU NEED THE DRUGS. Danny?"

"Yeah."

"I'd let you. You know." Jo looked over her shoulder at him.

"I know. But I don't want that kind of relationship with you. You better stick to keeping Tyler's sheets warm." Danny half smiled excited about the drug numbing his senses.

Across the hall, the girls were all chatting about gossip around the school. Lacey sat over in bean bag chair listening to the girls scorn other girls. Why weren't the boys held accountable for cheating?

"So what is Blonde Brainiac doing and superstud killer boy?" Carman handed Lacey a can of soda.

"Probably what we all suspect." Sarita sat down in the floor. "Psycho sex."

Across the hall a sudden knocking made the girls look up. Jo screamed. "Oh Danny…Harder!"

Lacey looked down in her drink. It didn't only embarrass her. It hurt her. She wasn't sure why she cared. Neither of them cared about her anymore. But it did hurt and she still cared.

"Stop it, Jo. That isn't funny." Danny glanced up from his desk as the drug started to work in his system.

"I bet they are dying over there." Jo rolled around on the bed laughing. She kicked the wall again. "OH Baby! Make me scream!"

"I said stop." Danny warned angrily. "I mean it, Jo. NOW!"

"I don't care what they think." Jo felt a sudden eery feeling come over her. Danny's eyes were hazed over and he looked at her maliciously.

Danny stood up and walked to the bed. He grabbed Jo forcefully by the arm pulling her up. "I care what Lacey thinks." He pushed Jo against the wall. He pinned her there with his body. "Do you want me, Jo?"

Jo swallowed as she whispered. "Yes."

Danny leaned close to her ear. He jutted out his tongue licking Jo's earlobe. Jo started breathing rapidly with a lustful excitement. Then Danny whispered. "Well, I don't want you."

Danny laughed as he stepped away from Jo. Jo's lip quivered as she stared at the boy she barely recognized. "You're cruel, Danny."

"You're a b#^ch, Jo. Now get the H#** out of my room and my house." Danny grabbed Jo by the neck and pushed her to the door.

"You're hurting me." Jo's heart pounded with fear this time. She never saw Danny like this before.

He pressed Jo against the door and breathed out vehemently. "IF YOU EVER let Lacey know about the drugs or make her think I'm having sex with you, you'll know what real hurt is. Tara's lifeless body won't be the only body found dead in this house."

Then Danny pushed Jo's body out his door. She heard the clicking of Danny's door locking behind her.


	13. Chapter 13

"**...most Substance-addicted people are also addicted to thinking, meaning they have a compulsive and unhealthy relationship with their own thinking."**

―**David Foster Wallace****,**_**Infinite Jest**_

Jo tried to compose herself as she made her way down the stairs. She heard the girls voices coming from the kitchen. They must have all left the bedroom due to Jo's theatrics.

"So how is he?" Carman leaned on the counter with her elbows when she spotted Jo walking down the stairs. The other girls gathered around as well.

"Excuse me?" Jo turned around to face them. She gingerly walked over and grabbed a bottled water out of the refrigerator trying to feign like she wasn't shaken by Danny's anger towards her. She had never seen him actually doing drugs. Jo had convinced herself that Danny only used the pills to get to sleep. Now she was facing that Danny was actually abusing drugs.

"Good job. You always make yourself at home." Whitney shook her head at the frizzy haired blonde.

"At Danny's home I do." Jo tried to push past the pack of girls.

"You never answered. How is the psycho in the sack?" Carman blocked her way. The other girls followed her lead.

"Let her by. She doesn't have to answer that." Lacey took up for Jo after witnessing the girls' interaction.

Jo pushed past them. She then turned with a smirk. "He's terrific. Not like any of you have a chance of finding out."

Jo beamed but as she turned she noticed Lacey's face. She looked saddened. However, the sadness wasn't what made her stare at Lacey with a guilty expression. Jo feared Danny's warning. For once, Jo was really frightened of what Danny would do to her if he found out Jo was pretending that sex was actually happening between them.

"We're going to rent some movies. Are you coming?" Phoebe turned to ask Lacey. She didn't want Lacey to have to endure anymore from Jo and Danny.

"No. I'm going to head to bed early." Lacey answered as she sat on the kitchen stool. "I think I'll just get some cereal before bed."

"I didn't think so. Come on, ladies. I'll buy at Dunkin' Doughnuts or some other snack to munch on. That one doughnut shop is open all night." Whitney waved goodbye as she left with the rest of them.

Lacey poured her a bowl of cereal. She hated the jealousy gnawing at her. The group of girls had teased and joked that Danny and Jo had more than a friendship now. They were in a sexual relationship as the girls reminded Lacey. It was obvious to them all but Lacey until she heard the sounds coming from Danny's room. They were talking how Jo hung all over Danny too possessively. Lacey hated the reality of it.

Time passed as her cereal sat getting soggy in the milk. Why was this bothering her so bad? _Right. She still loved Danny. _

Lacey stirred her bowl of cereal. She never quit looking at the milk as _Captain Crunch Berries_ turned the milk from white to pink. It embarrassed and hurt her that Danny wasn't anything like she thought. It also angered her the audacity of Jo and Danny doing that across the hall from her. She wanted to scream at both of them. She wanted to yell at Danny for making her feel used. She wanted to slap Jo for making her feel the pain of Danny and Jo being together. Lacey was still unsure how this new Christian thing went. Therefore, she remained silent on the subject as she allowed it to boil and fester inside of her.

"We don't do anything, Lacey." Jo could feel her face turning red at the admission. She wanted Lacey to think Danny and she had shared intimate moments just as he and Lacey had. But Danny made that perfectly clear his thoughts on Lacey thinking such a thing. "I know you think Danny and I have sex. But we don't. I was just pulling the girls' legs tonight. I was kicking the wall and yelling. Danny was…" Jo thought of her words carefully. "...getting angry with me and telling me to stop acting silly. It was a joke."

"It wasn't funny. Besides it's none of my business if you do." Lacey stirred her cereal. "Just don't in my presence. Show some respect."

"WE don't." Jo insisted fearing Danny more than worrying about Lacey's hurt feelings. "Danny won't." She admitted. "It's complicated with me and him. Please. You have to believe me. Danny would get really mad if he thought I let you think he and I.. "Jo paused making sure she didn't reveal too much about Danny and her relationship. "Please. I'm telling the truth. I have to go. Let Danny know I told you the truth. "

Lacey watched curiously as Jo left out of the house. She sighed at her uncertainty. She had no idea how to act anymore. She wanted to do her best as the new person she felt she was but she wanted to be herself too. She wasn't a doormat. At the moment, she felt like one. "I hate this feeling."

"I didn't mean to." A low whisper came from the doorway to the kitchen. Lacey glanced up to see Danny looking lost. _Was he sleepwalking?_ He didn't look like it as he was dressed completely to leave the house. He was going to go after Jo and try to apologize. However, when he saw Lacey, he changed his mind. Danny stared at Lacey as he walked towards the counter. He plopped down on a kitchen stool. He put his head down on the counter. " I just had to make the pain go away. I didn't want to leave you or Jo at the time. It was too scary. I was only eleven. I didn't want to follow what he wanted me to do." Danny kept his head down. He could feel the sugar from the counter sticking to his forehead. He had passed the top of his high and the high was fading fast.

"Danny?" Lacey touched his hair. The boy was in serious need of help. But she couldn't help but to feel for him. Especially when his shoulders shook with sobbing.

"The pills help. I don't know how or why but they do. I feel free." Danny wiped his hand over his face ridding him of the sugar. He then placed the tip of his finger on the granules of sugar. Pop. Pop. Pop. His fingernails popped the sugar granules. He'd do anything to distract the burning desire to get high again. He still never looked up. "I know you saw me take them. I didn't want anyone to know. Jo gets them from Tyler Lewis for me. It's so much easier to sleep at night without thinking about what I did." Danny sniffed. Truths were pouring out due to his high state. "I'd never hurt you, Lacey. Even on like this. Even all confused like I am, I'd never force you or hurt you. Okay?"

Lacey didn't know what to do. But it was in her nature to take care of things. She had saved so many wounded animals in her lifetime. It was just who she was. She pushed herself between his legs and pulled his head to rest on her shoulder.

Danny's hands went to her waist. His fingers made small circles around the skin that peaked just above the rim of her pajama pants. They rested in each other's arms for several seconds. But soon the pain was forgotten when Danny realized Lacey was the one holding him. His heartbeat picked up. Lacey's did as well. It was simultaneous lust hitting.

Lacey breathed in the fresh scent of Danny, who had obviously showered again. So what if he was a teenager in need of psychiatric help. He was taking some type of pill. He still had rock hard abs and shoulders to match. Danny's hands slowly pushed up Lacey's shirt exposing her back. He ran his fingers nimbly across the small of her back. He leaned up to stare in her eyes. Behind both sets of dark orbs, there was a need that peered back at one another.

Danny took a deep breath and pushed Lacey away. He bolted off the stool and ran upstairs. Lacey bit her lip but she was determined to see exactly what Danny meant. What pills was he talking about and how could she help him? Was he on anti-depressants? What did he mean that Jo got the pills for him?

Lacey opened his door slightly. She saw Danny holding the familiar pill bottle in his hand. Lacey opened the door more. She walked in slowly. She hoped the pills were prescription. But even at that, she had saw Danny take the pills earlier. "You don't need those. You've already taken your dose for today."

"You don't know what I need." Danny closed his eyes as he gripped the pill bottle. "You don't know me at all, Lacey."

"Danny." Lacey tried to embrace him. He pushed her away.

"Don't! You don't want to know the real me, Lace. I'm not worth knowing. I'm a freak…a killer. I'm dangerous." Danny could feel tears well up in his eyes. He opened the bottle and poured the pills in his palm. He immediately felt shame. However, he knew swallowing the pill brought more escape from reality. Shooting up would be faster even. However, he needed Lacey away from him. He'd never do something like that in front of her.

"No. Don't!" Lacey grabbed for his arm. Danny had some serious mental problems. He had a true need to escape reality. He needed psychological help. NOT a drug.

Danny stared at Lacey. "You don't know me."

Lacey stood back. NO minor drug could make him act like this. Danny was far worse off than she imagined.

"Danny, she had no right." Lacey touched his arm. "Jo has no right to encourage this. Drugs can kill you."

"Listen, Lacey. I'm not your next pet project. I don't need your saving." Danny turned to glare at her. "You're better than me. I get it. I do. Jo accepts the pathetic person I am. So why in the h#** do I only want you?"

Lacey felt uncomfortable with Danny's eyes scanning up and down her body. She backed away nervously.

"Danny, you're not yourself." Lacey wiped her hands down the front her pajama pants.

"I'm more myself than I ever was. Don't be afraid. I'd never hurt you." Danny walked up and placed his hands on her hips. "Such a perfect person. How did I ever get to be with such a perfect person?"

Danny's eyes seemed to size up Lacey's body as if for a fitting. Lacey exhaled apprehensively. Danny moved in closer. His hot breath hit Lacey's ear.

"Danny?" Lacey didn't know what he was going to do next. Was he high? Was he himself? What was happening?

"Do you really want us over with? Do you really want to give up all we have together?" Danny's whisper was hoarse and hot against her inner ear.

"No." Lacey admitted timidly.

"Good." Danny pushed Lacey against the wall. He twirled his hips into her body. "I want you, Lace. Please let me have you. Please. I need you so much."

"Danny." Her voice was but a whisper. Fear and desire played a diversion to reality in her mind.

"Please tell me that I can have you again. Please." Danny pleaded as he raised Lacey's hands over her head with one of his hands.

What was he saying? What did Danny have in mind? Lacey wanted to deny her fears of the reality of his words.

"Okay." She whispered as she tried to reason both with Danny and herself. "I'm scared of us, Danny. Don't you understand. This thing between us always ends in disaster."

"I won't hurt you. Not intentionally. In the long run, you'll move on from us. You'll grow out of wanting me when you come to realize who or what I really am. The only one that hurts when this is over is me. " Danny leaned in allowing his mouth to be just centimeters from Lacey's mouth "IF I can't have you, I can't be happy. You said once I could be happy. If you don't want me, please let me know."

Before Lacey could utter another word, Danny's lips crashed down on hers.

_Forbidden Act_ was all Lacey kept thinking as she allowed words from the events of the last few weeks play in her head. What was she supposed to do? Was she supposed to say no to her utmost desires? Was she sinning by wanting this boy so much? Was she sinning by loving him even more?

Lacey could feel her heart thumping against her chest. She wanted his lips on hers. But she never expected to experience such pleasure in a simple kiss. Of course, this kiss was all but simple. Danny's tongue licked slowly Lacey's lips. He sucked in her lower lip as his tongue collided with her teeth. Lacey moaned as she opened her mouth slightly. Danny grinned as he touched her tongue with his own. Fervidly their tongues pirouetted in a dance of desire and need.

Lacey felt weak and hot. Danny swooped her up in his arms. He carried her from his bedroom. She thought it was another tease. _Why was she allowing him to do this to her?_ But soon found Karen's and Jack's bedroom door being kicked opened by Danny.

"I think we should christen their bed before they do. It is brand new. I bought it for them." Danny carried Lacey into the room. He slowly laid her on the new king size bed.

"Danny, we shouldn't…." Lacey tried to talk but her mouth stopped short.

Before words could escape, Lacey eagerly watched as Danny kicked the door closed. He kicked off his shoes then pulled off his t-shirt. Danny grinned at Lacey's reaction.

"Do you want something?" He smirked arrogantly.

Lacey bit her lip unsure of what she was allowing to happen. One thing was for sure. It was up to her and her alone to stop this. Danny wasn't about to. She leaned up on her elbows to note things were going too far. But once again her words were cut short when Danny unbuckled his pants. He grinned slyly as he slowly pulled his belt from the loops on his pants. He then sauntered up to the bed. Danny placed one knee on the bed beside of Lacey's shoulder. His other foot stayed on the floor.

Lacey couldn't help but to notice how perfectly toned his body was. Her mouth became dry as she peered up at him. How was he so fit if he was on drugs? Maybe it wasn't as bad as she thought.

"You really need to speak up if you don't want this." Danny warned her. His voice was soaked in sexual desire. "The fact is, Lacey, I've wanted you for a long time. When I had you I was a fool to lose you."

Lacey gulped when Danny leaned over. He wrapped his fingers in her hair and pulled her towards him. His tongue teased her lips. This caused Lacey to react by entangling her own fingers in Danny's long unruly hair. She could feel the dampness of his locks at the nape of his neck. He was perspiring along with his freshly showered hair.

Lacey could feel the bed give as Danny climbed in beside her. His hand moved torturously slow up her cotton tank as he pulled it over her head.

Lacey closed her eyes in fighting an unfamiliar guilt. Danny held her wrists by one hand as he brought them over her head. Lacey gasped when she felt her bra latch open. She opened her eyes to see Danny peering at her nude torso. She wanted to cover herself but he held her hands firmly in his grasp. She tried to wriggle free at first. She stopped.

Lacey watched as Danny leaned down to kiss her skin. Soon his tongue was caressing her upper body like an expert sculptor's fingers on clay. She realized she was being molded as he wanted her to be. However, she didn't try to stop him. Instead her hands wriggled against his grasp because of anticipation of his next taste of her skin.

Lacey had only been like this with Danny. However, this time, they weren't even in a committed relationship. He was dating someone else. She didn't know why she never spoke up. Danny's every move was enticing her to beg for more. Or making her want to plead to bring this to a halt. Yet, she bit her lip and said nothing. Danny moved back up to Lacey's lips. She longed for his tongue to battle with hers again. She got her desire. Danny soon was kissing her again more heatedly than before.

His hands were at the rim of her cotton pants. She closed her eyes enjoying the kiss. Part of her wanted to stop him. Part of her feared him taking his lips from hers if she did. His hands tore at Lacey's clothes. Soon her body was aching to meet Danny's touches. Danny pushed off of her. He pulled of his pants and boxers in one swift movement. Lacey panted out nervously and lustfully. She thought she was delirious with desire. She had to be considering she wasn't stopping this. All the power was in one little word. 'STOP!' One little word that she never uttered.

Soon Danny was hovering over Lacey's body. He pried her legs apart with his hand. "If I can have you now. Let me know."

Lacey simply nodded. Danny slowly lowered himself to be with Lacey. She squeezed her eyes shut as the pleasure of being with Danny again sent shock waves throughout her body. Danny grunted as he moved against her. His face was nuzzled deep into the crook of Lacey's neck.

"Danny..." Lacey finally got out between her labored breath and clenched teeth.

Danny slowed down his movements. He pulled up from Lacey slowly. "Do you want me to stop?"

Lacey felt a tear roll down her cheek. Danny wiped it away with his finger. "Answer me. Do you want me to stop? Or not." Danny leaned down. He bit Lacey's lip seductively. He sucked in her tongue teasingly. "I don't want to stop. But I will. For you, I will."

"No." Lacey gripped Danny's shoulders. Her nails dug into his skin. "I've always wanted you."

"You're my drug, Lace." Danny said in a tone of craving and hunger.

Lacey didn't know what to think. She knew he'd stop if she asked. But she didn't want him to. She didn't want Danny being with Jo. This was her and Danny's sharing of one another. Jo had no rights to this side of Danny was Lacey's thoughts. That was only part of her reason for wanting him to continue. The other part was the sudden heated pleasure her body was feeling with Danny's continued movements.

Temporarily, emotional pain was subsiding as pleasure replaced it. Lacey's legs wrapped around Danny's waist tightly. Danny grinned mischievously as she did this. Lacey knew that Danny had her where he wanted her. She was putty in his hands. Soon to be melting into the euphoria of being Danny Desai's lover. Lacey screamed Danny's name as her body succumbed to the pleasure his body had been building up with hers. Bliss had taken all pain and fear away.

Danny watched as Lacey arched her neck against the pillow. He lowered his mouth to taste the sweating skin of her neck.

"I'm not done yet." Danny cautioned as he leaned up. He teased salaciously."Take your time. But then it's my turn."

Lacey opened her eyes as he said those words. She noticed beads of sweat on his forehead. She noticed Danny trying to remain in control. His demeanor was changing as he moved against her.

She turned her head sideways when Danny's eyes closed tightly. She watched his knuckles whiten as he squeezed the sheets between his fingers. Lacey looked back towards her lover as she started to feel a second wave of electricity hit her body. She convulsed against Danny before both sweating bodies collided together.

Danny rolled off of her. He stood up. He walked away grabbing his jeans as he did. Lacey blinked twice. How could she have allowed this to have happened? Worse. Why did she pray he'd take her again?

Lacey had pulled on Danny's t-shirt. At least he left that for her. She could hear his bedroom door close and lock. She curled into fetal position and rocked herself. She was to blame as much as Danny. However, she felt used. Tears cascaded down her cheeks with the sobbing that was taking place. Her shoulders shook beneath the heaviness of the actions she allowed.

Her innocence was gone again as far as she was concerned. She had lost something to Danny Desai again. This time it wasn't her virginity, she had lost her dignity. Danny caused her pain once more. That is the only reason he wanted her. He was high. Lacey was sure of that.

If he truly cared, he'd have stayed to sleep with her. To hold her after he made love. NO. Not made love but had sex. That is what Danny did. Lacey was the only participant in making love as far as she was concerned. The fact was that she had loved him for so long. To have him touch her so intimately had been in her thoughts so many times. She missed that part of them. Her fantasies were made up of Danny's body taking hers. The pleasure surpassed her wildest imaginations the times they were together. This time was no different. However, the emotional emptiness and pain she was feeling equated to her worst nightmare.

Lacey could feel herself snubbing like a little child after a loud storm. However, she had no one to crawl beside to comfort her. She closed her eyes. They felt sticky and swollen with tears. How long had she been lying there holding her knees under her chin? She didn't know. But her tears had ceased unlike the shame and emotional pain of Danny's abandonment.

Lacey sniffed as she wiped her delicate hand over her aching eyes. She pulled Danny's shirt up to wipe her running nose. She didn't care how gross or unclean it was. She felt dirty anyway. She could smell his scent on the shirt. She clutched the white cotton material between her fingers. Why had he left her alone without a word? Was she that much of a non factor to him that she was only used for his physical pleasure? Then even stranger doubt hit her. Doubt she had never experienced before in herself. Had her guilt of what was happening hindered the way she made love to Danny? Didn't she move enough? Was her body not pleasant enough to look at? Were her kisses too sloppy? She had always prided herself on the one act of intimacy of a kiss. She felt she had mastered that act. But Danny made her doubt everything from her body to her touches.

Lacey watched as a white line of light hit the wall in front of her. The door was opening. Was it Danny coming to laugh in her face for giving into him so easily? Lacey closed her eyes feigning sleep. She heard the door close again. Lacey wanted to yell at him. But what did he really do wrong? She allowed him to act with her body without commitment. He had told her to stop him if she didn't want it to happen. But she did want it to happen. She just wanted it to end with his arms snaked around her in passion and in love.

Maybe this was her punishment for acting like she didn't want the 'loser' near her in the past. Maybe this was Danny's last laugh to her. Maybe he had proven a point to the once popular girl. Maybe Danny Desai had made her into the 'loser'.

Lacey heard the door open again. She shut her eyes quickly. Lacey felt Danny's hands reach beneath her as he picked her up into his arms. He cradled her against his chest. She didn't know why she didn't protest. Nor did she know why she began to cry on his shoulder. She just let it happen.

Danny carried her to his bathroom. He placed her gently on the sink. He didn't look in her eyes. He just pulled his shirt off her. Lacey wrapped her arms around herself hiding her breasts. She crossed her legs to hide her other nude parts. Danny picked Lacey up. He placed her slowly into the warm water of the large bathtub. Danny must have ran the water why she acted asleep.

He bent down beside the tub and began to bathe her. He had changed into cotton sleep pants. The sleep pants became wet on the knees. He didn't seem to care. His large hands cupped water. He poured the water over Lacey's hair slowly.

Lacey sniffed as tears came down her cheek. "Danny, why did you leave me? What is happening with you...with us?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you." Danny was almost inaudible. "Not once in all in my life did I want to cause you pain. Please believe that."

"You say that but yet, you continue to do so." Lacey swallowed as she sank deeper into the tub of water.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Lacey." Danny kept his head down staring at the bubbles that surrounded Lacey hiding her nudity. "I want to stay away from you because I know that is what is best for you. But I can't seem to do that. I know how wrong I am. I do."

"Oh." Lacey sunk down deeper in the tub. Her chin touched the bubbles making a white beard form. "I think you need to try. I need to let you go too. You want Jo obviously.." She shrugged trying to put the hurt behind them. It was time to quit the sorrow in her life. She had gave that away at the altar. She refused to allow the hurt caused by Danny to take over her life again.

"I don't want Jo. I never wanted Jo." Danny looked up but glanced down just as quickly. "There's so much you don't know about me."

"I'm confused why you left the bedroom. Was it feeling guilty over cheating on Jo?" Lacey lowered her own voice. "Jo said you both weren't intimate. But there is more to a relationship than that. So why?"

"I thought you saw earlier when you were in my room." Danny finally looked up confused.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Lacey slid down further until her chin was fully under the water. She blew until a faint bubbling sound could be heard. "You don't have to pretend not to want Jo anymore."

"I'm not pretending. I was so afraid I would hurt you." Danny hesitated as he wiped a piece of hair from Lacey's cheek.

"Physically. You didn't." Lacey kept her eyes on the whirlpool of water she had created with her mouth.

"I'm sorry." Danny ran his hand across Lacey's arm.

"I didn't try to stop you. It's both our faults." Lacey looked up at Danny. "Promise me that I was really your only one. I need the truth."

"Promise." Danny plopped back on his butt. "We can't tell anyone."

Lacey felt ashamed again. He was embarrassed of her. "Of course NOT!"

"No. I mean what I'm going to show you later. What I want to tell you can't be told to anyone." Danny leaned back up. "Let me finish washing you."

Lacey closed her eyes. More tears slid down her cheeks as Danny's hands wiped them away. She just lay there as he cleaned her body of his scent. She just lay there as his fingers gently stroked her hair as he washed it. She just lay there confused of what happened to the arrogant creature that was now replaced by this boy with pain evident in his every move. The guilt stricken boy was having a difficult time even looking at her body even after taking it.

Danny soon picked her up out the water. He wrapped her in a towel. He carried Lacey to his room. He laid Lacey gently on his bed. Slowly, he dried her body. He pulled a soft, clean t-shirt from his drawer and slid it over her nudeness.

Danny closed his eyes then reopened them. "Lacey, I left you earlier to clean up my room from things I didn't want you to see. I wanted to be this boy worthy of touching you again. I wanted to sleep with you in my arms."

Lacey listened to Danny's confession as she curled up as he lay his comforter over her. Danny slid in behind her. His arms enveloped Lacey gently. She closed her eyes as he scooped her to him.

"I'm bad off, Lace." Danny whispered in her ear.

"What do you mean, Danny?" Lacey asked as she pulled his arms tighter around her.

"Not tonight." Danny pleaded. "Let me pretend tonight that you love me."

Lacey took in a shattered breath. "You wouldn't be pretending."

Danny nuzzled into Lacey's neck. "Then let me pretend that I'm worthy of that love."

* * *

**Note: As you can tell, I despise Jo Masterson. Most of my fics try to give her redeeming qualities but I am not in this one. I'm tired of the Jo pandering so I'm not doing that. This is how I think her true colors are as I've seen to my viewing of Twisted. **

***I had a difficult time writing this as I see Lacey a lot stronger character than I wrote in this chapter. But there are some explanations coming of her weakness in later chapters. Please bare with me. Also, I am not going to debate what is sin and what is not. Although, I don't mind input. I'm simply telling the story from different aspects as you will see later. You will be free to make up your own mind as I'm sure all of our views are different on those type subjects. I don't want to push my views on anyone so I am trying to allow for alternate beliefs on sin and not sin as you will also see later in the story. **

**** Last but not least, I am still going to address Danny's weight gain and his shooting up later as well. I thought I'd get to that earlier than now but found myself writing this update instead. This is a slow journey so I hope you stick in there with me. **

**As one author of fanfics has mentioned, reviews spur us on.** **So please feel free to respond bad or good. I will try to be considerate and not feel attacked if bad. Good helps too though. (: **

**Thanks for all reading this fic. It is important to me as it _may_ be my last Twisted fanfic and I'm trying to get all these ideas out in one last hoorah to DACEY.**


	14. Chapter 14

"_**When you first shoot up, you will most likely puke and feel repelled, but soon you'll try it again. It will cling to you like an obsessed lover. The rush of the hit and the way you'll want more, as if you were being deprived of air—that's how it will trap you." Sam, a 15-year-old addict**_

Lacey woke up to Danny's arms still tightly around her. She smiled contentedly as she pulled his arm tighter to her body. Lacey was in Danny's shirt while Danny lay in only his boxers. Both of their legs were entangled below a white sheet.

Sarita stood in the doorway staring in at the couple. She had only walked up to knock on the door to ask Danny where he kept the Tylenol for her headache. But the door opened unexpectedly when she he hand gently touched it. She saw Lacey and Danny sleeping in an obvious aftermath of a night of sexual endeavors.

"I wondered where you were when we got back." She could see Lacey's eyes widen before she pulled out from Danny's sleeping arms.

Lacey put her finger to her lips alerting Sarita to be quiet. She moved Danny's hair from his face before leaning to kiss his forehead. He groggily mumbled something incoherently before pulling a pillow closer to him. Lacey couldn't help to notice how beautiful Danny was.

Sarita rolled her eyes as Lacey did that. Then she allowed Lacey to lead her out of Danny's bedroom. "We're not back together."

"But you had sex." Sarita sounded judgmental. "So sleeping over at Danny's means having sex with him."

"Honestly, Sarita, this isn't any of your business." Lacey crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. "I don't answer to you."

"I thought you answered to the Almighty God now." Sarita chuckled haughtily. "Isn't there something in that book of His about chasteness?"

Lacey's eye twitched as her jaw muscles tightened. "Mind your own business." Lacey had enough of Sarita's condemnation of her. "You've made it plain our friendship is over. So I don't need to try to keep up appearances for your sake."

Sarita nodded to the door where Whitney and the girls all were sleeping. "Don't worry. They're all out of it. Whitney got some old dude to buy us some alcohol. They're all sleeping off a night of binge drinking."

"And you're not." Lacey leaned against the hall wall crossing her legs at the ankles. "I suppose I'm going to be your next gossip of choice."

"Not really." Sarita leaned up against the adjacent hall wall. "I just can't believe you'd be sloppy seconds to Jo Masterson. Are you the side chick now?"

"Hmmph. Really, Sarita?" Lacey bit her lip as she closed her eyes. Now wasn't the best time to be reminded that she slept with Jo Masterson's boyfriend.

"Yeah. Really, Sarita?" Danny had awoken and shocked both girls when his voice interrupted them. He had slipped on a pair of loose jeans. They hadn't even seen him awake no less walk out of his room. "Like Lacey could be sloppy seconds to anyone. She's queen. The rest of Green Grove High are only peasants to her as far as I'm concerned."

"Even your girlfriend, Jo Masterson?" Sarita quipped as she scowled angrily at Danny.

"No. Jo is no peasant in Lacey's kingdom." Danny stared at Lacey with a smirk. "She's more of a court jester." Danny reached for Lacey's hand. He pulled her to him as he wrapped his arms around Lacey's waist. He kissed her nose before stating. "We need to talk."

Lacey grinned broadly. "Okay."

She could see the seriousness in Danny's eyes. She would pretend not to notice for Danny's sake since Sarita was there. Danny and Lacey walked away hand in hand. The door to Danny's room shut behind them. Sarita turned to see Phoebe and Whitney standing down the hall watching the scene as well. Phoebe was the first to speak.

"Don't tell me that you both don't see how absolutely adorable those two look together." Phoebe chuckled before exiting to go back to the bedroom.

Sarita shrugged and stated before following Phoebe. "Whatever. Those two are addicted to each other."

Whitney felt herself grow angry. She should've known better than have Lacey and Danny in the same house together. Whitney thought she had him where she wanted him. If Lacey found out the extent to Danny's drug abuse, she'd try to save him. All her and her dad's hard work would be for nothing.

Lacey sat down on the bed curiously as she watched Danny open his dresser drawer. She could hear him take in a ragged breath. She watched his shoulders flex as he pulled something from the drawer. He turned around with an unsure look on his face. Danny bit his lip before sitting down beside of Lacey.

He took her hand and squeezed it. "After today, you'll be glad we're not together anymore. You'll put last night out of your memory. Therefore, I want to thank you for the last moment of happiness."

"Danny, don't say that." Lacey squeezed his hand back.

Danny smiled weakly as he opened the cloth wrapped around his dirty secret. He could feel his heart rapidly pounding against his chest. Danny saw Lacey study the items before her.

"Say something. Please." Danny pleaded as he gauged Lacey's reaction to the items on his lap.

"Oh, Danny." Lacey finally broke the smothering silence in the room. "I didn't know it was that bad. Is this what I think? Are you shooting up?"

"Once. I did once a couple of weeks ago. That's why I put on a condom this time. I know you're on birth control. But I won't chance anything with you. Even if it was just once. I know the needle was new but..." He stopped not wanting to make the night of passion to be a bigger mistake than Lacey probably was already thinking it was. Danny swallowed the bile down that had came up in his throat. "I was so sick and even repelled at myself for it. I can't count how many times I threw up afterwards. I thought I was going to die. I wondered if the guy sold me some bad stuff." Danny blinked as he looked away from Lacey fearing she was looking at him with disgust. "I remember the next day, I broke the D*MN needle so it wouldn't taunt me. I'm not going to lie. If given the chance to do it again, I would. I can't explain this need I feel to have that high again. It was almost immediate. The nightmares were over. When I saw Dad and Tara's faces, I laughed. I don't fear what I see when these drugs course through my veins." Danny continued knowing Lacey was unable to form words at Danny's confession. He wrapped the cloth back around the items and placed them in the floor. He used his foot to scoot them under his bed. "The only reason I haven't shot up since is because Jo said Tyler can only get the drugs that I snort. I have no way of getting a syringe and the stuff the dealer gave me. I'd go to prison if I got caught. I guess that fear is what is keeping me from getting more to shoot up. Jo can't get it for me. She looked through her dad's police files to find the name of a dealer for me. But I'd never let her go into that part of town. I don't want to take a chance of going back to the dealer because of prison. But sometimes, the craving is so bad, I don't care if I get caught. As long as I get a hit."

Lacey pulled her hand away from Danny's hand. "Is that why you are still dating her? You're dating Jo because she gets you this junk!"

"No, Lace. It's not like that." Danny watched as Lacey stood up to pace back and forth in front of him. He noted she was angry and hurt as she tried to take in all the information he was throwing at her. "Jo said that…" He hesitated. _Did Lacey really need this much truth?_

Lacey turned to glare at him. "Jo said what?"

Danny allowed his head to fall to look at his hands now folded in his lap. He took a deep breath before continuing. "Jo said that if I broke up with her that she'd tell her dad about the drugs. Lacey, if they test me and this is in my system, I'm going back to juvie or worse. I may go to prison. No matter what, if I'm caught with drugs in my blood or on me, I get at the least a sentence in juvie until I'm eighteen. I don't even want to think of the worst." Danny interrupted Lacey before she could speak because he knew she'd ask why he doesn't just give up the drugs. "Before you ask, it isn't so easy to quit like I thought. I'm hooked now and I know it."

Lacey halted her pacing to look at Danny. He glanced up at her with sad eyes begging for her forgiveness and understanding. "Jo is blackmailing you to stay with her?"

"She thinks we will get closer. It isn't her fault. She wants to help me." Danny raked his hands through his hair as his body shook slightly at all the information pouring from him. He snapped his head back up to look at Lacey. "Jo thinks I'll realize I love her. She thinks she can make me happy."

"That's bull crap, Danny!" Lacey stated a little too loud due to anger. "Quit making excuses for that self centered brat!"

"Lacey, don't blame Jo." Danny started to stand up but decided not to when Lacey's eyes dared him to approach her.

"Oh. I will blame her! I blame you too. But she is not this innocent victim she constantly wants to be." Lacey balled up her fists. "I swear I could beat her into a bloody pulp. She knows how hard this is for you. You loved your dad and he's dead. You caused it." Lacey began to pace again. "I get that has to hurt. But her enabling you makes me angry at her more than you! Jo ….GAWD! JO!" Lacey threw her fist into the door. She pulled it back in pain.

Danny jumped up noticing her wince in pain. "Lace." He took her hand. Lacey tried to pull it away but Danny wouldn't let her. "Let me see."

Reluctantly, Lacey allowed Danny to check her hand out. He kissed her red knuckles before pulling her into to a hug. "I warned you that you'd hate me. Thanks for last night. It meant so much to me to have one last time with you."

Lacey pushed Danny back angrily. She hit her sore fist against his chest as she screamed at him. "Don't you dare! Don't you dare think you're getting me out of your life that easily. Don't you dare!"

Holding her hands over her face, she collapsed onto the floor. The gravity of the situation seemed to pull her to the wooden floor. Danny dropped to his knees in front of her.

He pulled Lacey into his arms. "You need to be out my life. I'm no good for you. You're so much better than I deserve."

Lacey sobbed as she wrapped her fingers into his hair. She held her forehead against his forehead. Both breathed in each other as they gave in to the emotional pain.

"I can't stop, Lacey. I can't. I tried when you saw me at the church. You're the only one that noticed my weight loss. You thought I was sick." Danny inhaled causing Lacey's scent to waft pleasantly to his nostrils. "Mom has been too busy planning the wedding to notice. Jo doesn't care enough to notice. You did. So I tried to stop. I even started lifting weights to take my mind off the drugs for a few days. It didn't help. But I kept lifting weights and I started eating protein and less vegetables just to hide the drug use around you. My muscles ache now so the lifting weights stopped a couple days ago. I didn't want you to know. But now you need to know." Danny's voice came out broken. "Because you knowing means you'll forget me. You won't want me. I can't live with hurting you anymore. I'd rather die."

Lacey twisted her fingers tighter into Danny's dark tendrils of hair. Her breath was coming out in gulps now as she took in every word he said. She never spoke as she grasp tighter to Danny's hair. She was afraid of letting Danny go. If she let go, she may lose him forever.

Neither teen knew how long the stayed in that position. Lacey's fingers entangled in Danny's hair as if she was keeping him from teetering off into nothingness. Danny's fingers gripped the back of the shirt Lacey wore as if he was clinging to his last bit of hope in her.

A knock on the door caused it to open slightly. Phoebe stuck her head in. She took in the scene like it was a surreal painting before she spoke. "Andi Dang organized an outing at Seashell Lake. It is for Green Grove High and surrounding schools as a celebration of Spring Break. We're all going." Phoebe glanced away as the scene looked to intimate for intruder's eyes. "I think it would be fun."

"Let's go, Danny." Lacey begged as she still held the same position. Her forehead still connected with his forehead. "Please. Let's get out of here for a while. You and I going together."

"Jo will see us." Danny swallowed as he tried to explain. He hoped Lacey wouldn't hate him for bringing Jo up. Part of him hoped she would. He deserved her hate. "She'll…"

Phoebe began to pull the door closed as she left from Danny's bedroom. "I'll tell the others you two will meet them there."

"Shhh." Lacey interrupted Danny ignoring the door closing behind Phoebe. "We're good at hiding. We'll hide until we figure this all out."

* * *

**Author's NOTE: Due to the intense chapters I've written, the next will have some levity so readers can get a break. A calm before the storm so to speak. Drop a note to let me know how I'm doing! (;**


	15. Chapter 15

"_**Here I am trying to live, or rather, I am trying to teach the death within me how to live."**_

―_**Jean Cocteau**_

Danny stared over at Lacey as he put the jeep into drive. He had rented a jeep for the day so that he could pull up to the makeshift beach by the lake without worrying about getting stuck in the sand.

"First, you can't drive at all. Now you can drive a stick shift." Lacey raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"As a matter of fact, I can. Jack has been teaching me how to drive a standard. He's also been taking me boating. I'm learning to sail." Danny grinned feeling carefree even if he knew deep inside, that feeling was temporary.

"That's good, Danny." Lacey grinned allowing her dimples to be revealed on her beautiful face.

"Now, I have an important question for you." Danny made sure there was nothing coming towards them before pulling out of his driveway.

"What is that, Mr. Desai?" Lacey teasingly asked.

"Are you wearing a one piece or a bikini under that tank and shorts?" Danny chuckled mischievously.

"Oh, you'll see." Lacey's voice came out in a sing song way as she allowed the light hearted atmosphere to wash over her.

Danny's eyes glinted with an impish spark as he chuckled in response to Lacey's answer. It was nice pretending that his life wasn't a mess. Especially when he was pretending with Lacey. The drive had them relaxing as they chatted about normal things. They made sure to steer away from the topics of Jo Masterson and drugs. It was refreshing to talk about school work, the picnic items his grandmother Lois had made up for them, the new movies coming out they both wanted to see. Things that teens talked about without conversations being laced with cheating on a girlfriend, murders, prison terms, and drugs.

Lacey was the first to make a move beyond simple conversation as she reached over to take Danny's hand in hers. Danny's thumb traced over Lacey's palm in circles. Lacey allowed her fingers to dance on the back of Danny''s hand. Tingles spread throughout their body at the mere touching of fingers. They continued to hold hands as they made their way towards the lake.

"You'll love this place, Danny." Lacey kept holding to Danny's hand as she leaned back to allow the bright sun to hit her face. "It is a man made lake commissioned by Mayor Rollins. They brought sand in to make it look like a beach front." Lacey opened her eyes slightly. "Turn right at McNally Road."

"I heard about it from Cole. I'm glad Andie had the fundraiser to rent out the place. I heard the private schools are attending." Danny turned the car right as Lacey told him to. "Do you think that means that Archie and Scott will be there?"

Lacey raised one eyebrow. "Never thought of that. Why are you worried?"

Danny laughed slightly. "What do you think?"

"That would be a no." Lacey sighed happily before sticking her arm out the jeep to allow the wind to cause it wave.

Danny squeezed Lacey's hand assuringly. "I was making sure you're okay with that."

"I am." Lacey glanced towards Danny. "We're kind of alone in this. You know?"

"What do you mean?" Danny didn't look at Lacey this time as he had to pay attention to the curvy dirt road. But he couldn't help but to take gazes at her.

"Well, I don't really have friends anymore. Accept the Perrys. However, I mean the past friends aren't really my friends. You never had too many friends but Jo, Rico, and Cole. Last I looked, they don't even hang out. You're stuck with Jo, which I don't want to talk about."

"Yeah. I guess I get what you're saying." Danny smiled. "I could care less about any of those friends compared to how I feel about you. I want you to know that."

Before Lacey could address Danny's statement. The jeep started making a funny noise from the rear tire.

"Uggh." Lana squeezed the jeep door handle. "You have a flat." Lacey glanced out the jeep. "Do you have a spare?"

"Yeah. I better considering how much it cost to rent this. I must've ran over something while I was busy staring at the gorgeous girl next to me." Danny edged the jeep to the side of the road.

Danny got out. He pulled the spare from the bottom of the jeep. "Don't worry. It's not that big a deal. I'll have this fixed in no time."

Lacey walked around the jeep and leaned against the side. "Thanks. You come in handy for a lot of things."

Lacey didn't mean the implications in her words. Danny jutted his eyebrow up. Lacey squirmed uncomfortably when she realized her words had a lacing of sexual inuendo. Although, the words were rather true even if Lacey wasn't sure where the whole Christianity thing stood on that topic, it made Lacey try to avoid the topic at all until she could figure it out.

Danny finished replacing the tire. Lacey moved to the back of the jeep to be out of Danny's way. He grabbed the tire iron to place in the back of the jeep. She tried to get out of the way but they were dancing around each other. Danny grabbed Lacey's shoulders to stop her from moving. When he did, his eyes met hers. Danny didn't know where the two stood in their new relationship as friends or more. But the fact was, he knew what he wished for. He leaned in for a kiss. Lacey could feel his breath washing over her lips. She tiptoed just a little to meet him. Soon, they were joined in a slow kiss. It was different kissing Danny every time but the same. The kiss was slow and filled with passion. Danny didn't use tongue. He just enjoyed the sweet taste of Lacey's lips colliding with his own.

Lacey was the one to seductively inch her tongue along Danny's teeth. He opened his mouth slowly allowing her access. She was in control. Which was a rarity in this relationship so far this go around. Lacey's fingers went to the hair at the back of his neck. She pulled him closer to her as her tongue twirled on the roof of Danny's mouth.

Danny's hands went to Lacey's hips pulling her closer to meet his body. He squeezed Lacey's hips as his thumb played on the small sliver of skin between her tank and blue jean shorts. Lacey didn't know where this was going. But this was her Danny Desai! Not the Danny high on drugs. Not the Danny worrying about Jo Masterson. But the Danny she remembered from their first time dating. This was Danny wanting her and not Jo or a drug.

Her thoughts of contentment soon subsided when Danny pushed her away hurriedly. Lacey felt a nervous emptiness fill her stomach. Danny moved her out of the way and popped open the back of the jeep. Lacey was puzzled by his complete turn around until she heard the beeping of car horns.

"I heard them coming." Danny nodded over his shoulder.

Sarita was hanging out of Archie's truck. Whitney, Carman, and Patricia were also crammed into the truck as well. The girls were sitting on Scott's and Cole's lap. Obviously, Cole had forgiven Scott and Archie. Two other cars were in the line. Each filled with students from the private school or Green Grove High.

"Hey. Look it is my new brother." Whitney quipped as they pulled up. "Sorry, you got stuck with step bro, Lacey. Phoebe told us that you and Danny would follow us. I guess you beat us. I see you got Grandmother Lois's picnic she was packing."

"We had a flat. Danny fixed it." Lacey moved uneasily farther away from Danny. Of course, Danny noticed.

"I come in handy for some things." Danny closed the jeep. He wondered if Lacey wanted to alert Archie that they were no longer together. That was until he saw Jo with Rico and Andie in the another car that had pulled up.

Jo, Andie and Rico had pulled up in Andie's convertible. Andie stated cheerfully. "Hey, Danny. You want to ride with us? We have your girlfriend."

"You're dating Jo? " Scott quipped with a chuckle as the others in the truck laughed. "Leave the jeep. We can make room for you, Lacey."

"That's okay. We have the food." Lacey wanted to ask Danny to remain with her. But how was she going to do that with his girlfriend right there? Besides the fact she planned on making Jo a non girlfriend for Danny, she hadn't yet nor did she know exactly how to do that without Jo's threats coming to light.

"I can go ahead with Lacey. She'll need help unloading. No use changing it up now." Danny stuck his hands in his pockets.

"No. I'll ride with my boyfriend." Jo jumped out of the vehicle she was in and immediately climbed into the passenger seat of the jeep. "Lacey, you can ride with your friends."

Danny reluctantly climbed in the jeep. Lacey looked down at the ground. She glanced at Danny intensely before getting in the truck with the others. They all drove away towards the lake.

"What was that? What is happening with Lacey and Danny?" Andie asked as she leaned her head back while she drove.

"The Danny and Lacey-I want to eat you alive-take you beside the road-melt butter in an ice storm-lick your skin raw-stare- you mean?" Rico retorted.

"Yeah. Wouldn't have put it that way. But yeah." Andie laughed at her boyfriend's vivid description.

Rico shrugged feeling slightly bad for Jo. "My personal hypothesis is that they're doing it again."

Danny stepped uneasily from the jeep. On the last of the ride to the lake, Jo's hand kept finding its way into Danny's lap. Danny removed it. Lacey wouldn't like that. At least, he hoped she wouldn't. He was relieved to see Lacey pull in right behind the other two cars. He worried the entire 10 minute ride to the lake that Lacey felt uncomfortable with Archie and the others. He also kept thinking of pressing Lacey's beautiful body against the sands of the beach.

After all supplies were unloaded, students began to intermingle as they introduced themselves. Archie watched curiously as Jo clung to Danny. He noticed Danny's lack of excitement about Jo being all over him. Jo couldn't be more possessive of Danny.

He also noticed Lacey and Danny were still sneaking looks at one another as they did when he was dating Lacey.

Danny tried to be nice to Jo. However, all he kept thinking was that under Lacey's outfit was some type bathing suit. He hoped for a turquoise string bikini just like in his dreams. The crowd began to start having fun. A few students had snuck in alcohol. However, most students were enjoying the unusually sunny weather sans partaking of an alcoholic beverage.

Lacey waved excitedly when she saw her friends unexpectedly approaching. "Miriam!"

"Hey, Girlie!" Miriam hugged Lacey as she nodded towards her three brothers. "We got an email from Andie Dang about this. Grandpa and Grandma agreed since Green Grove is only an hour and a half away, we could come join in."

Isaac immediately sided up to Lacey. They all sat on a blanket that Matthew and Adam rolled out. Even though Isaac and his siblings had been going to Green Grove High for a few weeks, introductions hadn't been made. After Lacey introduced her new friends to her old friends, they all began to enjoy the outing.

"Hello." Matthew immediately sat down next to Phoebe. He placed his hand over his heart. He rubbed his chest as if it were aching.

"Are you okay?" Phoebe asked in concern.

"I'm not sure. I think meeting you has made my heart beat too fast." Matthew winked before adding. "Or perhaps meeting God's choice of most beautiful girl in the world has my heart doing palpitations."

Phoebe's face turned a bright red as she playfully slapped Matthew's shoulder. "I think I like you."

"That was the worst line yet." Adam shook his head at his little brother.

"Phoebe liked it." Lacey laughed. "I'm glad you all came."

"Me too." Isaac flirted with a smile spreading across his face.

Scott yelled loudly. "Volley Ball! Team One will be the Sherwood Prep Varsity Soccer. Team Two will be Archie, the new boys from Green Grove , and Cole. Rico you can be back up!"

Rico smiled proudly that he was mentioned. Even though he'd not get in the game. It was obvious that Danny was being cut from the choices. Lacey glanced over to Danny to make sure he was okay. He smirked at her allowing her to know he could care less. He was more pleased that Isaac was getting ready to play rather than sitting by Lacey. The boys all stripped off their shirts.

The boys began to get into the competition of the game. Whitney winked at Lacey andSarita. "That Isaac boy is fine as h*!."

"I agree." Sarita stared over at Lacey. "He seems interested, Lacey. He'd make a good boyfriend. I bet he isn't even dating anyone. Or wouldn't cheat with someone else either."

Lacey shook her head towards Sarita still frustrated that the girl couldn't mind her own business.

"Hey,Danny. Don't you think it is too hot for that t-shirt? Are you afraid of turning to dust in the sun?" Carman batted her eye lashes then rolled over in her bikini to expose more of her skin to Danny.

Danny sat down on the blanket beside of Jo ignoring Carman's obvious flirtation. He addressed Jo quietly. "Do you think Isaac has more muscles than me?"

"You're kidding right? I mean you are not becoming superficial are you?" Jo whispered back. "Definitely. So does Archie, Cole, and the new kid, Matt. But your skinny is sexy. He is nothing compared to you as a hottie. Besides, you're all I want to look at and do things to." Jo made an obscene gesture that only her and Danny could see.

"Stop." Danny sighed at Jo. He knew she was trying to fit in with him as a girl who he'd want. She was trying all kinds of sexual advances. But she was getting more pathetic each day.

Lacey peeked up a couple of times at Danny. _Why didn't he come sit with her?_ Then again, Jo was the one he was supposed to be dating. Oh what tangled webs we weave. Lacey had to think of something to do while sitting there wanting Danny to at least lick his dry lips or something. Lacey set herself a goal for today.

_Hmmm. Mission get Danny wet. Hmmm. Mission revised. Shirtless and Wet_.

"Golly Gee, Mam." Whitney walked up taking a sandwich from the picnic basket. "I'm from juvie hall. I was raised in a cell. So I don't know that I'm supposed to take off my shirt on a beach. Goollly. "

"Nice one there, Whitless." Jo scoffed. "Do you only do bad impressions of Gomer Pyle or do you do ones of an obnoxious jerk in the form of a high school teen with nymphomaniac propensities?"

Lacey chuckled at that. She couldn't help it. Jo's comeback was pretty good. Whitney had been picking at Danny since the wedding. It was about time someone said something to her. Sarita cocked her head sideways watching Whitney pick at Danny. _That used to be her job._

"Why are you here on our beach any way?" Whitney sat down followed by a few other of her new cronies.

"Your beach? I'd laugh at that if it wasn't so ignorant that it is more pathetic than funny. This is lakeside just in case you don't understand the meaning of a beach." Jo stood and took off her sundress. She had on a navy blue bikini, which made her very pale skin paler in contrast. However, Lacey noticed that Jo was built better than she had imagined her to be. It seemed that Danny didn't even notice though. Jo handed Danny a bottle of sun tan lotion. "Oil me up, Superstud."

Danny took the bottle and began to put lotion on Jo. Danny slathered on the lotion rather quickly before he leaned back on his elbows.

"Take of your shirt. I'll do you." Jo turned to face Danny.

"I've heard you already do him." Carman stated then gave a high five to Patricia.

"What's wrong?" Jo squinted slightly at Carman. "Jealous?"

Carman crossed her arms defensively. "You wish!"

"Actually." Jo grabbed Danny's shirt. He allowed her to pull it off of him. "You do."

She turned to face Carman's blushing face. Danny shook his head at Jo uncomfortable. He had to admit that Jo was fun at time but not as a girlfriend. _Why couldn't she just be his friends and nothing more?_

"Man, dude." Cole plopped on the blanket next to Miriam. It seemed the game was over for now. He addressed Isaac."How much do you lift? Those are some serious pecs and biceps going on."

"You think." Sarita laughed.

Danny frowned feeling jealousy knowing that Isaac was interested in Lacey. Isaac only thoughts were._ What a weird bunch of people Lacey hung out with._

"Seriously, Dude. I'm into all the weight lifting competition. We have competition with Granville High and Sherwood Prep. You should think about joining the weightlifting team." Cole stated.

"They probably all do steroids. Maybe Danny does too as he's been getting some muscle with that scrawny build of his. But he has a long way to go. I'd be careful with the steroids, Danny." Whitney interjected. "I heard they shrink other things."

The crowd laughed. Even Isaac.

Jo leaned over and whispered to Lacey. "Maybe you should set them straight on that one. Oh right. You aren't privy to that information any longer."

Lacey's eyes bugged out. The crowd hushed wondering what Lacey was told by Jo. Everyone stared. It was obvious by the look on Lacey's face that she was angry and ready to slap Jo's face.

"Chill, superior ones." Jo stood up and pretended to bow throwing her arms out in exaggeration behind her. "For I just told the fair young maiden the truth of our gallant Danny and his mighty sword."

Luckily, Jo had got the best of Whitney with her teasing of Danny. They all began to ignore her and Danny. They opted for eating instead of teasing. Danny almost choked on his sandwich when Lacey stood up to pull of her shirt and shorts. It wasn't a turquoise suit but it was a choral colored halter bikini. Danny decided his dreams would now consist of that bathing suit. Because Lacey's body in that bikini surpassed his dreams. Soon the boys were putting suntan oil or sunscreen on the girls. Isaac was definitely putting sunscreen on Lacey different than Danny did Jo. He was enjoying touching her skin.

"I want to go. You can catch a ride with Andie and Rico." Danny whispered to Jo. He was having the familiar craving of the drugs but he was getting angry at the scene before him much more. He figured he'd better go before he made a fool of himself. "I think I ate something and it didn't set right with my stomach."

"What makes you think that I don't know that you're wanting to go snort ?" Jo questioned with a roll of her eyes. "I know you, Danny. Better than anyone here." She glanced at Lacey then back to Danny. "Remember that."

"Oh you know me so well. Well, then you must know that I'm ready to pull Isaac's freakin' hand off from his wrist." Danny clinched his fist tight.

"Well, isn't that great. You're with your girlfriend but want Lacey. How very Danny Desai always wanting what he can't have. I'm not going anywhere yet and you're not either. Face reality and chill. Lacey seems to be enjoying it."

"But she's letting him touch her." Danny moaned not caring Jo was obviously getting jealous. He was in dangerous territory with her but he was getting agitated with the lack of drug in his system. Therefore, he was ready to hit something preferably Isaac Perry.

"She let you touch her too." Jo rolled her eyes. "A lot more than that. Your touching would be illegal on a public beach. And you don't see me getting ready to tear into her knowing you're jealous of her new boy."

Tyler Lewis walked up placing a large cooler down in front of him. He started mingling with the crowd of teens. He had his own posse with him as well.

"Hey, stepbro." Whitney leaned over. She whispered for Jo and Danny to hear but made sure no one else could. "Isn't that your new supplier?"


	16. Chapter 16

"_**I almost wish I had cancer. Then I'd either beat it or die from it. But my disease, even if successfully treated, will never go away. And it might not kill me. But it will hang over me like the blade of a guillotine; more threatening inert than if the blade suddenly slips and mercifully turns out my lights. This is my war to end all wars."**_

―_**William Cope Moyers**_

Danny decided to take a walk. He wanted to clear his mind of watching Lacey and Isaac being all friendly. He wanted her happy. He admitted that to himself. But he wanted this weekend to be about them before reality came back into play. He also wanted to forget the drug that waited at his house for him.

Could he actually be addicted? Beyond mentally,was something physically happening to him? He wasn't sure. But he was sure about one thing. He was craving the drugs more than he ever had before. Danny's inhibitions stopped just as quickly as they came with the thoughts of escaping reality with pills. Reality was good at the moment. It had to be physical now. The pills remained in his blood in little doses. Danny knew he had taken excessively of them trying to get the same high that the one time shooting up gave him. It was starting to frighten him how much he craved the feeling of the needle again.

Lacey watched as the rest of her friends busied themselves talking of superficial and mundane things. She watched as Jo had tried to get Danny's attention. When Danny ignored Jo's silly puckering and sticking out of her breasts, Jo sat her sights on getting Tyler to notice her. They all seemed busy with having fun. Lacey turned her eye from following Danny walking away to watching Miriam and Cole splashing and frollicking in the water. She wondered what it would be like to have a normal relationship blossoming as it seemed theirs was. She then watched as Phoebe lay on her belly as she chatted with Matthew. It seemed so easy for everyone but her and Danny. Jo was even having fun as Tyler and she laughed about something.

"So, I need some advice." Isaac interrupted Lacey's thoughts.

Lacey turned to give Isaac her full attention. "And what advice do you need?"

"As you know, we leave out tomorrow morning for youth camp. By the way, you're going to love it." Isaac reminded Lacey that her mother had paid for a week away with the youth group at church camp. "Anyway, you're going to meet this girl there named Summer Patterson." Isaac stated as he glanced down at his large hands. "Summer is my dream girl. No one knows that by the way, not even her."

"Oh really." Lacey smiled broadly. She teased Isaac. "You've been flirting with me and you have a dream girl."

"Come on, Lacey. Danny and you are somewhere else on the spectrum of teen dating, love, or whatever. I get that. To be honest, I'd loved to have tried to get to know you romantically but after today, no way. Danny has been eyeing me like he's ready to make me his next victim." Isaac wished he hadn't put it that way. He hadn't considered how awful that would sound. "Sorry, that was uncalled for. I didn't mean to be so cruel."

"It's fine." Lacey raked her hand through her hair. "I was teasing anyway. So about Summer. What can I give advice on?"

"How in the world did Danny get you to fall for him so hard?" Isaac breathed out exasperated. "I know he is equally infatuated with you. But I need the girl's point of view as I can see myself being like Danny is over you with Summer and me. Because trying to get you to look at me more than a friend is liking beating a dead horse."

"Just be brave and let her know how you feel through actions at first." Lacey grinned widely remembering how Danny always stared at her and gave her the smoldering looks. "Entice her to want you with your charm, Isaac. Be brave enough to take a chance."

"Thanks, Lacey." Isaac opened a cooler to pull out a soda. He shut it back finding nothing but beer. He ended up having to stand up to find a cooler with something besides beer. "Why don't you take your own advice and see where Danny went?"

Taking advice from Isaac, Lacey decided to be brave enough to follow Danny. She hoped Jo would remain flirting with Tyler long enough for her to sneak off and Jo not follow.

"Hi." Lacey saw Danny sitting on an old dock with his feet dangling in the water.

"Is it a pity thing?" Danny glanced back.

"What?" Lacey sat beside him.

"Nothing." Danny stared out over the water. "Why didn't you take up for me with Whitney? Jo did."

"Jo is good in situations like that." Lacey placed her feet into the water. "What did you expect? I thought we were hiding whatever we have happening for Jo's sake."

"I'd have taken up for you if you were insulted in my crowd." Danny swirled his feet around not daring to look at Lacey as he did.

"Right. You have such a big crowd." Lacey rolled her eyes as sarcasm came out. There she was being defensive and snotty again. Maybe being around them made her act like them. "Why didn't you take up for yourself? You're the big bad killer and all." Oops. She didn't want to say that out loud.

Danny glanced up at her. He just shook his head before lowering himself from the dock into the water.

"I didn't mean it." Lacey watched him sink into the murky lake.

"Yeah. You did." Danny lay back on his back. He looked up at the sky above him as he flared out his arms to float. "You think I'm a crazy druggie. I may be a druggie. But I'm not crazy."

"True. Intelligent people usually are classified as insane." Lacey kicked her foot splashing Danny in the face with water.

"Are you flirting with me, Lacey Porter?" Danny splashed her back.

"Yeah. I always call the guy I'm flirting with insane." Lacey kicked again causing Danny's hair and face to be soaked.

Danny laughed a he grabbed her by the ankles pulling her into the water. He made sure to hold her safely as he did. His arms wrapped around Lacey's waist pulling her tight to him.

"Do you always make love to insane men too?" Danny's cocky side began to come through. This was the Danny who Lacey longed for again.

"Apparently." Lacey wrapped her arms around Danny's neck. "You're not high are you?"

"No." Danny took her legs and wrapped them around his waist. "I wouldn't do that around you, Lace."

"Good. I like my Danny sober. By the way, I'm having fun." Lana admitted with a huge grin. "I'm so glad we came."

"I see you're having fun. I freakin' hate Isaac putting lotion all over you." Danny slid his arms tighter around Lacey's waist. "I guess you enjoy that though."

"Danny, why would you think that?" Lacey giggled at his jealousy. "I'm wrapped around you at the moment. Isaac is a friend."

"I wish Jo would find someone else to make her happy. I'm so tired of this game we're all playing." Danny swallowed nervously as he added. "I'm not afraid to touch you at times. Other times, I'm afraid to wake up and this dream of having you turns into a nightmare like it did before."

"Don't be afraid now. We're going to figure this all out. I'm going to help you. No more drugs and no more Jo. We have to fix those things in order for us to work." Lacey leaned in to kiss Danny.

Danny pulled Lacey tighter to him as she dominated the kiss. He didn't know what Lacey saw in him. Why was she trying so hard when he had hurt her so badly? He knew he didn't deserve her but he wasn't willing to give her up easily. He wish he could for her sake.

His hands made their way to Lacey's breasts. He wasn't sure why she would want him touching her. He was so below her. But here and now. He was more unsure of himself after seeing Isaac's interest in Lacey. His hands were shaking as he touched Lacey. He wanted to please her. Danny wanted to be the boy worthy of the girl he loved. He wanted to make her feel as he did when the drugs were in his blood. _Deliriously happy_. Lacey seemed to enjoy his touches even knowing what he was. Therefore, Danny continued his quest to make Lacey want this part of him. His fingers pulled back her bikini bottom. Danny breathed in as his finger came in contact with Lacey intimately.

"We have to stop." Lacey breathed out in a panting breath breaking from the kiss. "I don't want caught like this."

Danny nodded his head in agreement. "I got carried away. It is easy getting carried away with you."

Lacey bit her lip as she ran her fingers through Danny's wet hair. "Same here. I guess I better head back because I'm not sure I can say no to you if I stay here."

"Then by all means, let's stay here." Danny teased as he walked her to the edge of the dock. He picked Lacey up and sat her on the dock before pulling himself out of the water. He stood up shaking his head to get rid of the access water in his hair.

"I'll be leaving tomorrow for about a week." Lacey pulled up by Danny's hand as he offered it to her.

"Where are you going?" Danny said as he helped Lacey steady herself. He pushed a stray strand of hair from her face.

Lacey bit her lip before answering. "Church camp. It is for ages fourteen to nineteen. Mom signed me up. I wanted to go but now I'm not so sure."

"Why is that?" Danny took Lacey's hand and entwined their fingers together.

"Honestly, I'll miss you." Lacey bumped Danny's shoulder with her own.

"I'll miss you too, Lacey." Danny admitted. "But I see how happy church and your friends make you. I love seeing you happy."

"I do love the youth meetings and Miriam's and Isaac's friendship." Lacey glanced ahead at the trail they were walking on. "Try to do good, Danny. Please."

"I'll try. I promise. I will." Danny half grinned knowing it wasn't going to be that easy without Lacey there to keep him from partaking of the drugs.

They had to separate again once they spotted the others in the distance. Jo looked up catching Danny and Lacey holding hands only to see them quickly release their handhold when coming into view. It reminded her of the time she saw them in the police station when Danny's mom confessed to killing Regina. _Were they hiding their relationship from her again? _The last time she feigned like it came as a shock. The only thing shocking to Jo was the fact that Danny didn't choose her over Lacey when she gave him an ultimatum after the video went around school.

After that, Lacey and Danny stayed apart at the lake . Danny packed up early as did Lacey. Whitney had Lacey ride back to the Desai house with her. Archie didn't bother trying with Lacey after witnessing the stare shared with Danny. A few days ago,Sarita had told him that Lacey and Danny had broken up. It seemed their break up was temporary as far as Archie was concerned. Jo insisted on riding with Danny. They rode back silently until Danny dropped Jo off at her home. She asked him to come in but Danny claimed he was too tired.

When arriving at the house, Danny's grandmother insisted the three teens get showered and spend some time with her. Lacey was in the shower as Whitney and Danny gathered in the kitchen with Grandmother Lois.

"You're girlfriend is lovely, Danny." Grandmother Lois said as she placed a slice of apple pie before him. "Truly gorgeous. She compliments you well. Even her name is lovely. Lacey is such a fine name for a young lady."

"Grandmother Lois, you do realize that Danny's girlfriend is Jo Masterson." Whitney chuckled slightly as she watched Danny give her the evil eye.

"Oh. The frizzy haired blonde?" Lois sat down taking a sip of her coffee. "Well, I guess it is different than in my day. In my day, you called the girl you are spending all your time wanting a courtship with your girlfriend. This Jo girl seems more like your friend." Lois patted Danny's hand. "Anyway, you have excellent taste in Lacey. Young love is always so refreshing. She helped me yesterday pack the picnic lunch. She insisted I put in those roast beef sandwiches. Claimed they were her favorite. But she didn't realize that I know my grandson's favorite sandwich. Yes, your girlfriend Lacey is quite a catch. You hang on to her." Lois stood up and patted Danny's back. "I'll make you a big breakfast tomorrow. My grandson needs to put on some weight. You get that thinness from your mother. You need to cut that hair too. It is beautiful though. Maybe you shouldn't cut it."

Lacey walked into the kitchen sitting on the stool beside Danny. Lois smiled at Danny with a wink. "Well, this old woman is headed to bed early. Lacey, I planned a big breakfast for the morning because I know you're going on that long ride to that youth camp. Your mother called to remind you to pack a pillow and linens."

Lois walked out leaving the teens alone. They talked about the day then all headed to bed. Danny kissed Lacey goodnight at her door before heading to his own room. In the middle of the night, Danny had a nightmare that his father was chasing after Lacey through the woods as he had Jo. Only in the nightmare, Danny couldn't get to Lacey fast enough because Tara held him back with dozens of red jump ropes tied around him. Danny woke up with a startled jerk. He thought of the drugs under the bed but remembered Lacey had said no drugs and no Jo.

Danny breathed out trying to rid his mind of the relief the drugs would bring from the haunting nightmare. He stepped out of bed and slowly made it to the room Lacey as sleeping.

Danny's fingers ran up Lacey's spine. Lacey stirred slightly. Danny's knees were on the soft shag rug beside Lacey's bed. He watched her sleep. But Danny wasn't here to watch sleeping beauty. No, this prince Charming wanted more.

"Lacey." He whispered in a husky voice. "Wake up."

"Hmmmmm." Lacey rolled over. She blinked twice. Was she dreaming? Danny's face certainly had plagued her dreams enough.

"I want you." Danny didn't waste time with too many words. The drugs were taunting him and he hoped the physical with Lacey would make him forget their calling.

"Danny!" Lacey sat up. "What are you doing here?"

"Like you don't know." Danny chuckled then smirked. "You know I can see through that gown. Nice. I missed having my mouth…"

"Danny!" Lacey whispered reprimanding him.

"You know you miss that too." Danny ran his hand up Lacey's gown teasingly. "Admit it."

"You're high on those drugs again." Lacey pushed Danny's hand away.

"I'm not high. I promise." Danny ran his hand down Lacey's arms. "One last time before you leave."

"I can't, Danny." Lacey swallowed as she glanced at him. "I'm not sure what is sin or not sin. I'm new to this."

"You have goose bumps. I make you tingle. Don't I?" Danny's voice was taunting. His fingers were as well. He tried to ignore what she said. He wasn't much into the God thing anyway. He needed Lacey to help forget the drugs tonight. Loving her made him forget all but her.

"Please." Lacey begged trying to get Danny to understand that he was tempting her.

"I aim to please." Danny ran the pad of his thumb across Lacey's plump lip. "I so want to taste."

Lacey's tongue jutted out to wet her lips. "You need ttt…"

She was going to tell him to leave. But when Danny's lips met hers, Lacey remembered the boy she loved was there. Somewhere. Danny was kissing her. Tasting her. Teasing her. Danny Desai needed her and Lacey wasn't sure how to help him. She wasn't sure about anything when it came to Danny, God, sin, not sin. She needed answers but didn't know where to get them.

Danny's tongue forced open Lacey's mouth. He eased his body to lay beside hers. Her body quivered as his hand roamed over her thigh pushing up her gown. Danny sucked in Lacey's tongue as he moaned with pleasure. He pulled back from the kiss and immediately went to tasting Lacey's neck.

"So Sweet." Danny groaned against Lacey's neck. "So sweet."

Lacey whimpered in desire for him. She couldn't resist him. She knew it. He knew it. It was already established that Danny was never able to resist Lacey.

His hands were soon feeling Lacey's taut stomach. He moved up her body as he slowly enjoyed touching her skin. She closed her eyes as his fingertips made feathery touches on her body.

"I need relief." Danny moved his body over Lacey's. "Let me make love to you."

Lacey raked her hands across Danny's cheek. "What do you really want, Danny?"

Danny stared into Lacey's eyes wanting his own answer. "Tell me you want me. I know you do. I feel how much every time I touch you."

"I want you." Lacey realized it was useless to lie to Danny. He knew she was smitten by him. He knew she wanted him in every way. She saw the need in his eyes. Lacey saw the fear of her rejection.

Danny smirked trying to hide his insecurity of feeling unworthy of her with his charm. "Don't get too loud. I wouldn't want to wake Whitney or my grandmother."

Lacey bit her lip when Danny pried her legs apart with his own. She flung her head back when Danny began to slide his tongue along her collarbone.

"This needs to go." Danny pulled off Lacey's gown. He looked fiercely down her body. "You're so beautiful, Lacey. So beautiful."

Danny removed his own clothes. Lacey could feel the guilt rising up in her as she tried to pray for guidance. However, her prayers were cut short due to the boy that hovered over her. _Guilt. _Those thoughts soon escaped her when she watched Danny's toned body. Soon that body was taking hers. He was perfect in every way. He was hers in every way. For the moment they both escaped their reality with each other intimately.

Lacey was in awe of the way Danny pleased her. He claimed to be innocent until her. But how can a boy know so much about pleasing a girl intimately if he had only been with her and her alone? She knew it was true though. It was something both treasured with being each other's firsts. The first time was awkward but still wondrous. This time was beyond euphoric. Perhaps, it was the fact that she loved Danny so intensely. All Lacey knew was that Danny Desai was with her as close as two people could physically get.

Lacey scraped her fingernails down Danny's back as she tried to pull him closer to her. Danny grunted into her ear.

"So good." Lacey panted. Her hot breath tickled Danny's neck.

Danny closed his eyes fighting with his emotions. Even on the drugs or without the drugs, he loved this girl. He wasn't worthy of feeling those emotions. He'd not allow himself the treasure of thinking that Lacey would want him as she faced he was a killer. He'd cherish being with her body before reality hit her of him not being worthy of her. Danny pulled back up to take Lacey's mouth with his own. He desperately wanted to tell her he loved her. He wanted her to know and to hear her say the same. However, he knew Lacey needed to tell him to leave and stay away. That fact hurt more than any emotional pain thus far.

Lacey could feel Danny's tongue teasing her own. She was glad he kissed her. She almost whispered she loved him. She trained herself to look and act a certain way. She hid behind the façade of a popularity and snooty friends for so long. But Lacey herself wasn't sure who she was. The only time she felt like herself was when she was with Danny or at the altar. Then she knew where her heart belonged. Then she knew what she wanted for her future. Now, she was confused again by the pull of one life versus the other.

When her body was joined with his, she pretended it was okay. Nothing else mattered. Not drugs, Jo Masterson, or the guilt that plagued her after the act of sex. It was easy to pretend considering she was so deeply in love with Danny.

Lacey wrapped her legs around Danny tightly. She placed her fingers in Danny's hair and pulled vigorously. She panted as she pulled Danny into another kiss. "I want you so much."

"I want you too, Lacey." Danny answered in a breathless groan.

Lacey arched towards Danny. She had to bury her head into Danny's sweating neck to muffle her yelp of pleasure. She knew that her not wanting to go to youth camp now had to do with herself as much as missing Danny. She wondered if she belonged with the Christians when she was far from a saint. She had been with Danny twice now ,since pouring out her emotions at the altar, without much struggle to do so.

Or was she wrong at all for the act she was committing with Danny from pure love.

Danny didn't care about circumstances when he was with Lacey. He just acted on what he felt at the moment. At the moment, he wanted the girl in his arms to know the truth. That may be something he'd regret later. But now, he was being honest with Lacey. For a brief moment, he felt he was good enough for her. Sex seemed to be easy enough of a way to show that love as far as he was concerned.

Danny soon was feeling the same pleasure as Lacey as he whispered to her. "I love you."

Lacey was his reason for wanting to do better. Thoughts of having her _tormented_ him. Yet, having her seemed to wash over him like _redemption_.

* * *

**Author's Note: Still not debating my beliefs vs. others. (I believe in waiting for marriage)But others won't agree and that is fine. So my fic isn't answering that belief of right or wrong. To me, God is the only authority on that. (Thanks for that suggestion from a poster on tumblr..I appreciated that insight. You still know who you are. (Throws a kiss and hug to you for that help) This fic is just touching on it and the confusion that comes with that debate. I wanted to show the struggle of Lacey's new want to do what is right but confused what that may be. I wanted to show Danny still thinking he is unworthy. This chapter is to show their confusion more than degrading either character. I thought it more realistic to show Danny and Lacey are both weak when it comes to each other. **

**I thought it was last chapter where Lacey made it plain Jo and drugs weren't happening..Therefore,I was wrong to guest. It was this chapter. I already had part of it written and was confused where I put it. Anyway, same thing. **

**Notice last line. The italic words show why I titled this fic this.**


	17. Chapter 17

"_**In this country, don't forget, a habit is no damn private hell. There's no solitary confinement outside of jail. A habit is hell for those you love. And in this country it's the worst kind of hell for those who love you."**_

―_**Billie Holiday**__**,**__**Lady Sings the Blues**_

Leaving Danny to go to church camp was one of the most difficult things for Lacey to do. Although, Danny promised to try and stay away from the drugs, Lacey knew by the look in his eyes he was already craving them. However, she needed to concentrate on her own well being for the moment as her life seemed to be falling back into the pitfalls of being too attached to Danny. She had let that go at the altar but had faltered when back near Danny. Lacey didn't know how but her life needed changed and she knew by the feeling of prayer, Jesus was who she would turn to for that help.

The first day of youth camp was a hustle and bustle of preparing the sleeping quarters. Each house was assigned a group. One side of the campus was girls while on the other side was boys. Each little sleeping cabin held five to six girls and one adult chaperone or as the camp called it a house mother or house father.

As the girls and boys stood in a small auditorium listening for names to be called and what group to go to, Lacey was getting both excited and anxious. Her anxiety grew when she heard her name called for Anna Perry's house. She was the third called after a girl named Emily Shadow, who was a girl that reminded her of Jo in build only the girl wore her hair in a strange faux hawk style. Emily also had more piercings than Lacey could count. Lacey wondered if the girl even realized she was at a church youth camp. The other girl called was named Myrtle Fatherham. If any name fit someone, Myrtle's name fit. She was a very tall lanky girl with dull brown hair worn in long pigtails. Her skin was so pale that her red gums showed more than her braced teeth when she smiled. Myrtle also wore thick glasses that caused her eyes to look bigger than her face. Miriam's name was called causing Lacey's face to display a huge grin. The next girl was called up. Her name was Deanna Linsey. She was a plain Jane type with a Latino look. The last girl called was Summer Lane.

"We got Summer." All in the house but Lacey squealed delightedly. Some of the other girls moaned in dismay that Summer was not in their house. Lacey already knew this was the girl who Isaac had a huge crush on. She was taken aback when Summer made her way to the group.

Summer reminded Lacey of Amber Riley of _Glee_ stardom. Lacey had never watched the tv series but Regina Crane was an avid fan. Mercedes was Regina's favorite character. Lacey had no idea of the character's personality but Summer could be Amber Riley's twin in appearance. Lacey thought she was rather pretty but was surprised at her being not the typical stick thin girl. However, it didn't take long for Lacey to see why Summer was the favorite to the girls as well as why Isaac Perry was totally smitten with her. Summer was not only friendly but her sense of humor had all the girls laughing as they readied the beds for the night. The counselors were in a meeting to get the itineraries for the week.

Summer soon was taking charge in Anna's absence. "Okay, ladies." Summer said as she tossed her pillow on her cot before plopping down. "Time to get to know the new girl. Lacey is the only one that hasn't been in youth camp like we have. So first let's introduce each other. Not ourselves." Summer winked at Lacey. "Because some of us don't realize how we leave out important details of our own personalities. Myrtle, begin with one of us."

Myrtle grabbed up a pillow and clutched it in her lap. "Okay. I'll introduce Summer to you all. Summer is gorgeous as you can see."

"I am." Summer stated as she pushed back her hair mockingly. "Go on."

Everyone laughed as Myrtle continued. "She sings like an angel. Summer was named Summer because her parents were going through some type hippy faze according to Summer. She says she is only glad she wasn't called July. Summer is the most popular girl at camp because she is so fun. Each year the girls prank the boys and our house wins because we have Summer Lane. We've won the camp spirit off too. Spirit off is where each house competes with different things such as Bible verse memorization, singing , and Bible Trivia. We usually lose crafts but win over all. Oh and there is also a huge obstacle course that we lose but it isn't with the Spirit off. It is just one of the games."

"We definitely lose that." Miriam laughed. "Isaac's team wins because the girls from Peggy's house pick him and Matthew first. But we always win Spirit off and Prankster house."

Myrtle pointed to Emily next. "Go, Em."

"I'll introduce you, Myrt." Emily grinned shyly. That surprised Lacey as she figured the girl was hardcore punk or something. She expected the girl to have a chip on her shoulder. But Emily seemed quiet. "Myrtle is a brainiac. She is the one that wins us the Bible verse challenge. She has a photographic memory. She is also so in love with Matthew, Miriam's brother, it isn't even funny."

"It's true." Myrtle sighed out with a longing sigh. "He's all that and more to me."

"Myrtle is my best friend even if I only see her once a year. She is from upper state New York. Her parents hate she is into Christian beliefs because both her parents are scientist and atheist. But Myrt likes to challenge them on their theories with a Christian twist. Her favorite things are the Vampire Diaries and the Twilight Book Series." Emily glanced at Deanna. "Next."

"Fine." Deanna snarled but then went on. "Emily is originally from Texas. Her parents are fanatical Christians especially about appearances. That is why Emily has all the piercings and weird hair. It is her rebellion of those stereotypes. However, Emily is one of the most dedicated people to God I've ever seen. She spends most of her time reading the Bible and in prayer. She plays drums alongside of Adam, who she finds adorable."

"Deanna." Emily blushed. "He's a friend."

"Right." All the girls chorused but Lacey, who laughed at Emily's blushing.

Lacey was surprised to hear how dedicated to God that Emily was. It proved to Lacey not to judge a book by the cover. Deanna nodded towards Summer to introduce someone.

"I usually introduce Miriam. However, since Lacey only knows Miriam, I'll let her do that. I'll introduce Deanna. She is from Queens, New York. She is one of my best friends ever. Deanna is raised by her Grandma Rosalee, who is the sweetest woman alive just like Anna, Miriam's mom and our house mother. Deanna's parents died in a car accident when she was two. But from photos, she looks just like her mom. She is rough around the edges when you first meet her but has a heart of gold. We love her."

"Amen to that." Emily said as she patted Deanna's back. "We've all been in the same house since were eight."

"Okay, Lacey. You're turn." Summer stated as she twisted around to listen to Lacey.

"Miriam is my new best friend." Lacey bit her bottom lip. "She's helped me to get away from some very dramatic life experiences. As you can see, she is amazingly beautiful but I can tell that it goes beyond the outside. Meeting her family has been one of the best things that has happened to me lately. I hope to grow to be closer to them and of course closer to God."

"I guess that means Isaac too." Summer said with a hint of jealousy but not maliciously. "That you want to get close to. He seemed to stare a lot at you. I guess I don't blame him. You're gorgeous."

"My turn." Miriam interrupted before Lacey could counter Summer's statement. "Lacey is my new bestie too. She is a new Christian and I love her. We live in Green Grove, which is small compared to where all of you come from. Her mom used to date my uncle Blake in high school. They are dating again. Her mom is gorgeous like her." She looked at Summer and chuckled. "Lacey's love interest is gorgeous and so dedicated to Lacey that he would kill for her."

Lacey gasped at first but had to laugh at Miriam's choice of words. Miriam continued. "Their relationship is complicated but they are in love. No worries of liking Isaac when she has one of the most gorgeous boys to breath in love with her."

"Got a photo, girl?" Deanna insisted as she glanced at Lacey. "Because Isaac is fine as they come. I got to see this boy."

Lacey bit her lip as she coyly smiled. She pulled out her iphone and searched her instagram. "This is Danny."

Summer's eyebrows shot up. "Like my grandma would say. I would sop up that boy like a biscuit."

The girls shared a laugh as they all began to talk of Danny's good looks before telling Lacey of the fun the week had in store. Summer ended the conversation with one last thought before the girls were called out to meet back at the auditorium. "Just wait until the last night. Adam preaches it. He is amazing with his testimony."

Before the night was over, the houses had to meet back in the auditorium for a worship meeting. Lacey was told that every night would end in worship service. It was a short service that caused Lacey to feel guilt over the events with Danny the past few days. Therefore, when there was a meet and greet with all the campers, Lacey opted to go back to their cabin to get away from it all.

All she wanted was to be alone. She had pulled out her phone to text Danny when Anna came into the cabin.

"They're having a meet and greet, Lacey." Anna said as she placed small cut out paper hearts on the pillows of each cot. "It is nice to meet everyone."

"Do I have to go?" Lacey asked as she bit her lip. "I'm not feeling up to it."

"Of course not." Anna sat down on her own cot. "However, we'd like if campers told their house mothers where they were. We're supposed to keep track of our campers."

"Sorry." Lacey fidgeted with her pillow before picking up the heart shaped note. It had a bible verse. "Is this a memory verse?"

"No." Anna smiled as she continued to lay the paper hearts down. "I always like to give my girls bible verses of encouragement." She glanced at Lacey. "You're missing Danny. Aren't you? Your mother told me he was dating that Jo Masterson girl. I thought he was seeing you."

Lacey nodded. "We're complicated." Lacey bit her lip as she glanced at the bible verse. "Is this true?"

The small note read. _Psalm 37:4_

_Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart_

Anna smiled slightly as she leaned forward to touch Lacey's hand. "It is true. But you need to understand the verse to understand the whole truth. If we delight ourselves in the Lord, sometimes, our desires aren't quite what we think they are. Let me explain. I wanted to have a baby so bad when I found out your mom was expecting you. I had lost my first child to miscarriage only months earlier." Anna saw the look of confusion plastered on Lacey's face. She knew that Lacey was confused because Isaac was older than she was. "Any way, I found out that the miscarriage was a tubal pregnancy and it ruined my body for having babies. I absolutely was angry with God. I quoted that verse over and over. I felt betrayed. I even wanted to blame God. I felt He owed me. After all, I had served the Lord since I was a twelve year old girl and your mother gave up on God. So I was jealous. I never told Judy that. I cut myself off from her. Anyway, she always thought it was because of Blake but it wasn't. It was my own selfish nature."

Lacey took a deep breath. "But Isaac and…"

Anna laughed. "Yep. I met Isaac's and Matthew's biological mother at church during a revival that John was preaching in Tennessee. She was pregnant at the time with Matthew. Isaac was almost two at the time. John fell in love with that boy from the moment he saw him. But God had plans for me and my children. I became good friends with Isaac's and Matthew's mother. She confided in me that she was dying with a brain tumor. Her husband left not wanting stuck with being a single father. She died about a month after Matthew was born. She asked us to adopt her boys before her death. We even named Matthew."

"Wow. I knew Adam was adopted but not the others." Lacey hugged a pillow closer to her as she fidgeted with the small paper.

"God has plans for our lives, Lacey. Miriam's parents were friends way before she was adopted by us. Her mother and father were missionary workers in West Africa. Before you ask what country in West Africa, as many as they felt God sent them to." Anna laughed. "We're not even sure what region or country that Miriam's parents were born. She was born in New York on a visit to the states." Anna seemed to get lost in her memories of Miriam's parents before going on. Lacey could tell Anna was very fond of Miriam's parents as she spoke. "They were the best of people. They died in a car crash while vacationing in the states. Miriam was with us at the time. She was three when we adopted her. Surprisingly because she was born in the states, it was a simple adoption."

"Can I ask about Adam?" Lacey sighed as she took in Anna's words.

"Sure. But all I will say is that Adam was my first born. Yes, it took me until he was eight to get my first born. But God gave me that child without a doubt. He was a not easy to obtain but when he and I finally became mother and son, it was the most beautiful experience of both our lives. Adam was meant to be my son as all the others were meant to be my children. His mother was different. Adam came to us through Blake. It is a long story but it goes with Adam's testimony. You will hear that at the end of the camp. He was one angry little boy. I was one frustrated woman. I had my three children and wasn't open to God giving me this little kid with such a troubled past. I had my perfect babies in Isaac, Matthew and Miriam. I was convinced that child was Satan's spawn." Anna laughed boisterously. "But God has plans for us sometimes that we go fighting and screaming against. Little did I know that Adam was that one child that needed a mother's love more than any. I was meant to be his mother. Skin color and actions didn't matter. God's plan did. Therefore, God gave me the desire of my heart. Only God gave me it His way and not mine. I just had to accept what God wanted from me. I didn't need to put orders into God. He had a plan in mind." Anna squeezed Lacey's hand. "Lacey, I know you love Danny. I won't argue you're too young or he's too troubled. Lord knows more than I do. But I will say to make sure you put God first and yourself. Don't let yourself be tore down while trying to save him. That isn't in God's plan. But God does love that boy. You just have to decide what is right for you too and not just Danny."

"How do I know what is sin and what is not?" Lacey bit her lip as she stared at the note crumpled tightly in her fingers.

"Hmmmm." Anna stood up. "Well I could preach to you what I think and believe but that would be only making you accept what I want you to do not what God wants you to. He'll teach what he expects from you. So how about start with the verse Philippians 2:12. And don't forget the whole verse. A lot of people like to leave out with fear and trembling."

Anna handed Lacey a bible before she left. Lacey opened the bible and searched for the verse. She breathed out as she read it.

_Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, **work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.**_

Lacey bowed her head and prayed. "I love Danny, God. But I need to love me too. Teach me how to do both."

* * *

**Note: This was filler leading up to the end of the story. It is needed to show how Lacey needs to start putting herself first before she could help Danny. **


	18. Chapter 18

**"...most Substance-addicted people are also addicted to thinking, meaning they have a compulsive and unhealthy relationship with their own thinking."**

**―David Foster Wallace,Infinite Jest**

"Hey." Miriam walked up sporting a new dress. "Check me out." She twirled around causing the purple dress to twirl around her. She looked like a new Disney Princess ready for her debut.

"Nice. I take it spending time with your grandmother paid off." Lacey turned to open her bagged lunch.

She knew that the Perry family weren't the wealthiest as God's work sometimes didn't provide wealth. However, they had their needs met and more. The Perrys were not extravagant. However, John Perry's parents did have a little wealth and the loved to spoil their grandchildren when they visited them.

"Yes. And what may I ask did my best friend do while I was at my grandparents getting new clothes?" Miriam took a bite of her apple before glancing around at the others mingling together.

A small smile caressed her face when she saw Matthew looking uncomfortable with Myrtle sitting close to him. She had to give it to the girl. Myrtle was a persistent one. Emily was shyly talking to Adam. Her face was bright red matching Adam's hair. Miriam was sure that they were talking drums and music. Emily didn't have the bravado to talk to Adam about anything else. Isaac was going over notes with Summer on what song to sing for the sing off. They always did a duet, which won due to Summer's amazing voice.

Lacey didn't know why she said it. Perhaps, in the desperate need of confiding in someone. Perhaps, it was because she didn't expect Miriam to be listening as she was crowd watching. "Nothing but before youth camp while you were at your grandparents, I did Danny Desai."

"Come again?" Miriam frowned as she wrinkled her brow when she turned to face Lacey.

"I did Danny Desai while you were gone the weekend with your grandparents." Lacey started breathing funny in an attempt to hold back tears.

"Girl! Come on!" Miriam pulled Lacey away from others.

Before Lacey knew it, Miriam had her in one of the camp's prayer sections designed to allow campers alone time to contemplate or pray. No one came back there to bother anyone. So they were safe to talk. Miriam pushed Lacey into the soft cushioned seat adjacent hers. At least the seating comfortable even if the topic was far from it. Lacey began to cry. Miriam pulled out a tissue from a tissue box on the table. She waited patiently for Lacey to tell her story on her time.

"We're going to be late for crafts." Lacey made little snubbing noises trying to compose herself. She dabbed the tissue on the corner of her eyes.

"Most of the first day of crafts is chaotic anyway. No one will notice. Everyone's schedule needs adjusting the first day." Miriam patted Lacey's knee. "Take your time, Lacey."

Lacey breathed in then exhaled quickly. "He's so good."

"Okay. Not what I was thinking would be the first thing out of your mouth. But go on." Miriam shook her head as she allowed herself to grin at her friend.

"I never cry. What have you done to me? You've made me weak." Lacey joked hoping to lighten the mood. However, the fact was she never cried. She supposed all those hidden emotions were bombarding her when she had a friend she felt she could trust with those type feelings. Lacey bit her bottom lip but then spoke about what was bothering her. "Please, Miriam. Don't tell anyone. Danny gets high on drugs a lot. He's addicted. He doesn't even try to hide that from me." Lacey began.

"That is not what I expected from him. But I'll not tell. I promise." Miriam could tell Lacey wanted to take her story slow. Maybe so it could sink in. So she let her.

"Danny is like two different people now. There is the charming guy that I know when we're alone. But other times, he seems to be incredibly awkward around me. He stumbles over his words." Lacey sighed between a string of tears. "He doubts himself now. That was never how Danny was ever. If you knew him before his dad was accidentally killed by him, he was so different."'

Miriam smiled in a comforting manner but kept silent.

"The first time, we were together, he was that charming Danny. I wasn't in to church at all. All I wanted was to be Danny's and him be mine. He came to my room and we made out. I asked him to stay longer even though we were hiding a relationship from everyone. He just came on real strong. Before I knew it, we were each other's firsts." Lacey ran her sweating hands over her knees. "I never wanted to stop him those times. We were secret lovers and it was exciting. Then I stayed that weekend of his mom's wedding. Part of me wanted him to stop."

"He didn't force you? Did he?" Miriam grew angry. She was ready to kick some gorgeous boy murderer butt. She didn't know Danny that well but she'd hurt the boy for her new friend.

"NO! He didn't have to. Danny was convincing. Can I say something without you thinking I'm a total sleaze?" Lacey quirked her mouth sideways trying to think of the right words.

"Sure. I'd never think that." Miriam assured her.

"He knows how to touch a girl. He kisses like no one I've ever kissed. Of course, I've only kissed Archie and him. Anyway, Danny made me want him so bad. Even though in the back of my mind, I wanted to say no. I wanted it to happen even more." Lacey admitted hoping Miriam wouldn't judge her too harshly. "Yeah. I cried half the night. But he showed back up to apologize. Guilt hit him. No doubt. He bathed me. Whispered how sorry he was. Then he shows back up by my bed wanting to be with me again."

"Let me guess. He was being all sexy again?" Miriam may have be strict with herself when it came to boys. However, she could only imagine how sexy Danny Desai could be. He was gorgeous beyond belief to most of the female gender.

"You got it. Only this time, he was even better. I didn't even hesitate. Why bother? He knows he has me where he wants me. He even told me he loved me. He shows up. He touches me. We are together. Danny is so seductive. I can't explain it. I just cave to him." Lacey could feel new tears coming.

"You love him. Don't you?" Miriam rubbed Lacey's knee like a close friend would who was encouraging and thoughtful.

"Yes. I love him. He is such a great person. But he needs help and Jo is part of the problem." Lacey allowed her voice to trail off.

"Aww. Lacey, you're too good to be treated like that. You need to tell him to stop. You're not Danny's go to girl. He needs to break up with Jo if he wants to see you. You're no one's side chick."

"I can't just give up on him." Lacey placed her hands over her face. "I love him so much. Just being with him. Miriam, Danny is so caring when he touches me. He makes sure I…" Maybe she should leave that part out.

"You get pleased?" Miriam practically read Lacey's mind. It could've been because her own mind was imaging Danny being a great lover.

"Yes. He treats my body like it is so perfect. He seems to find every inch of my skin enticing." Lacey sniffed again. "At that moment, his actions are saying he loves me. I know..I know. I'm stupid. But pretending it is all okay is better than not having him at all. I can't let him fall completely to losing himself."

"You need to talk to him. You are really mixed up. Loving him is one thing. Allowing him to treat you like this is another." Miriam sighed out. "I've never been that intense with a boy. But Danny loves you. There is no pretending to that from either of you. But things aren't going to get better if you don't make it better for yourself first."

"I know. I want him to be better but I need to make sure I'm not pulled down with him." Lacey sighed as she dried her tears. "Thanks for listening. I just needed to talk."

"No problem." Miriam stood up as Lacey did. She didn't help her friend much. But at least she could listen. "I do have one important question."

"Yeah." Lacey composed herself as they headed out of the prayer room.

"He is enticed by every inch of your skin?" Miriam giggled as she bumped Lacey shoulder.

"Who is?" Summer seemed to come out of nowhere. Both Lacey's and Miriam's eyes grew wide. "Oh, sorry. I overheard personal girl talk. My bad. Forget I ever heard."

Lacey bit her lip hoping to do just that. She was glad when her phone buzzed taking her mind off of Summer's unintentional intrusion. "It's Danny. I have to take this."

Lacey giddily walked away to talk to Danny. Summer raised her eyebrows. "You said she was a new Christian. That means that girl has been with that boy."

Miriam crossed her arms over her chest. "What makes you think that, Summer?"

Lacey walked back up as Danny's call dropped. She'd call him back when she got in a better area.

"Because if my Mama didn't raise me the way she did and I was dating this Danny fella, I'd be smearing strawberry preserves all over him before licking it off." Summer watched the shock on Miriam's face as well as Lacey turn around hearing Summer. The girl didn't speak in whispers. Summer shrugged with a mischievous grin. "What? Strawberry preserves are my favorite."

"Where does cell service come in better?" Lacey couldn't help the mental picture Summer had put in her mind. But it was more whipped cream than some jam in Lacey's mind. She really missed Danny.

"Top of the stairs there." Summer pointed to a staircase that led up a hill to the camp cafeteria. "Sorry you heard that."

"It's okay." Lacey started heading to the stairs. She stopped to glance back at Summer. "I didn't know we were allowed to think thoughts like that."

"We're Christians, Lacey." Summer chuckled. "Not dead. Besides I have a lot of thoughts of what I want to do to my husband when God gives me one. He is so gonna love being married to me."

Lacey chuckled as she ran to call Danny. Miriam shook her head. "You're so ornery, Summer."

"You still love me." Summer threw her arm around Miriam. "I like Lacey. She's going to make this week awesome."

Lacey was soon talking to Danny at the top of the stairs. She had sent him a photo of all the girls in her house, selfie style. She was in the center of the group of girls.

"You look gorgeous, Lace." Danny said as he stared at the photo Lacey sent. "Are you having fun?"

"Yeah." Lacey admitted with a dimpled smile. "They're really nice here. The girls in my house are hilarious. Especially Summer. She is the girl in the tiel shirt to my right. I think Isaac and her have a thing for each other."

"Oh yeah. That's good for them." Danny seemed to perk up at the mention of Isaac interesting in someone besides Lacey. Danny couldn't help the jealousy he felt in the pit of his stomach when it came to Isaac Perry. The boy seemed perfect unlike how Danny felt about himself. He was far from perfect. That didn't sway him from loving Lacey despite his feeling less than worthy of her. "I'm glad you're having fun with them."

"I miss you." Lacey admitted in a whispered breath.

"I miss you too." Danny fidgeted uneasily. "I love you. I want you to know that. But please don't say anything back to that right now." Danny glanced at the remnants of crushed pills on his desk top. Shame hit him but he wasn't sure how to control this new addiction of his. He refused to lie to her any more. Maybe she would see he wasn't worthy of her time. Lacey deserved the truth and she deserved a lot more than he was able to give her as a person. " I'm not doing so good, Lace. I'm trying but I won't lie to you. I'm a mess."

Lacey felt her heart ache for him. "I'll pray for you, Danny."

"I don't believe in prayer." Danny closed his eyes as he pictured Lacey's face showing disappointment in him.

"That's okay." Lacey answered sweetly. "I do."


	19. Chapter 19

"_**I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom."**_

―_**Edgar Allan Poe**_

For Lacey, the rest of youth camp was spent having fun as well as getting closer to God. Lacey, Miriam, and Summer bonded more than expected. Isaac and Summer became an item over the few days at camp. Lacey was very touched by Adam's testimony. She couldn't hold back the tears as Miriam and other's warned her when ti came to how passionate Adam was with what he deemed _his calling for Christ_. That testimony or message made her have hope for Danny. She refused to give up on him. She did just as she said, she prayed for him and herself.

Back in Green Grove, Danny had tried but found himself still taking in the drug each night. He realized his problem but had no clue what do about it. Calling Lacey each night kept drugs at bay until he lay in bed after a nightmare of Tara or his dad. Sometimes both. Jo wasn't helping as she continued to bring Danny the drugs just to be around him. Their relationship was no longer boyfriend and girlfriend. It never really was. However, now it was more like a druggie and his pusher. The friendship once held to be so important to Danny and Jo was no longer there. It was strained and far from healthy.

It was Grandmother Lois who told Karen on her arrival back from her honeymoon the truth of the matter.

"Thanks for staying over, Mom." Karen said as she kissed her mother's cheek.

"It was my pleasure." Lois watched as her new son in law placed her luggage in the car. "By the way, Dear." Lois pushed a strand of hair behind Karen's ear. "Danny is in love with that Lacey girl. They have sex in your home. I wasn't sure your rules on that so I let it be. Things were definitely different in my time. He's dating Jo Masterson but is starting to despise her. I have no clue what the girl is holding over his head to make him stay with her. Unless my suspicions of him doing drugs is right. He's got real problems. And don't trust that new step daughter of yours. She is a sneaky one." Lois drew in a ragged breath. "Talk to him. He needs his mother."

With those words, Lois walked away leaving Karen completely befuddled. Maybe her mother was losing her mind. Karen didn't want to come home from two weeks of bliss in Italy to confront Danny about her mother's senile rantings. So she would let it go only to observe her son just in case. The Whitney remark threw Karen as she really had grown fond of the girl.

Lacey and Danny never got to see each other when she returned from youth camp. Her mother whisked her and Clara away to some youth rallies that Blake requested they attend. Clara and Lacey enjoyed the time with their mother. It was bonding similar to how things were before their dad left Green Grove. Lacey did call Danny every other night when time allotted. They were still unsure what they meant to one another or what to do with Jo still clinging to Danny. The uncertainty of Jo's threats of blackmail also lingered in the air.

Lacey leaned up against the school locker assigned to her. She watched anxiously down the hall for any sign of Danny. She had no idea how to act around him. She and he shared a secret relationship of many a midnight rendezvous in the past before Vikram's death. They'd rarely have chit chat after or during those times. But after youth camp, Lacey knew it was time to work on how she wanted her life to go. She hadn't seen Danny but a weekend during Spring Break. She had texted him but soon discovered that he was spending more time with Jo. Not because he wanted to but Jo had him convinced he needed the drugs thus he needed her to get those drugs. Lacey had heard via Whitney that Danny was always high when she was gone. Lacey hated not spending time with him to help him. But Lacey was biding her time praying that someday the Danny Desai she loved would be the one that showed up in her life again.

Lacey had glanced up and down the halls at Green Grove High School hoping to see Danny before he went to class. They were in a new class that was a sophomore requirement. It was Art Appreciation course. She heard that Danny, Jo, Sarita, Rico, Miriam and Matthew were all going to be in the class. It was kind of exciting to have a course full of people she knew.

Lacey and Miriam went to first period. It was the ditzy Ms. Colbert. She was so rattle brained that she'd not notice in three weeks who wasn't in her class. Lacey spotted Danny. He glanced up at her. Then back down just as quickly. Jo was giving him an evil glare for even looking Lacey's way. Jo saw Tyler by the doorway and stood up to speak to him before the bell rang.

"That wasn't obvious at all." Miriam noted sarcastically about the jealous look Jo gave Lacey. "I can't get over every inch of skin."

"Shut up." Lacey giggled. "Remind me next time not to give details."

"Yeah right. Next time I want Polaroid's." Miriam teased. Lacey had found out that Miriam was actually strict with her beliefs but very fun to be around as a friend. She was similar to how she thought Phoebe may be without the over dramatics. Summer was very similar to Regina in personality sans the wild side.

Lacey sat down in the back of the class next to Danny's desk. Matthew and Miriam sat beside of Lacey. Danny looked slightly thinner and paler than when she left for youth camp.

Seniors got last row seating but the few that were there had opted to be in their own crowd in the corner of the room. It seemed students were back to migrating away from Danny. The class was a mixed class of sophomores and seniors, who hadn't taken the course yet but needed it to graduate. It was one of the arts classes required. Art Appreciation held very little interest to even Lacey, an art lover. It consisted of slides and notes. Most students either took it to get it out of the way Sophomore year. Or procrastinated until the last year of high school.

Danny leaned his head on his arms. He glanced up through the crack between his arm and the desk. Was he supposed to talk to her? He wasn't sure. He'd not want to embarrass her in front of her new friends. He was half strung out. Danny knew that wasn't something Lacey needed to see.

Lacey slid a pencil between her lips biting down on it. Did he want something? He kept staring. Maybe she should say something.

Before Lacey could speak. Jo made her way to the back of the room.

"Hey, Desai." She sat beside of Danny. "Here."

Danny took the black notebook. He opened it then closed it quickly. But not before Lacey and Miriam saw the pills stuck in the sleeve pocket of the notebook. Danny slid Jo an envelope. Money they presumed. He didn't need it anyway. He had plenty money. What Danny didn't have was relief from life.

"You better have paid extra this time. Tyler is getting a little worried about this." Jo tapped her foot to the music coming from her I-pod hidden under her hair.

"I need more than this." Danny whispered.

"NO. You're going to kill yourself." Jo gritted between clinched teeth.

"I thought that was what these were for so I wouldn't kill myself." Danny frowned. He turned to see if Lacey was looking.

Lacey and Miriam pretended to talk about youth camp. Neither wanted Danny to know they heard the conversation with Jo.

"I want to clean up my act." Jo leaned on her book. "I'm too intelligent for this. Rico was right ."

"Fine. Hook me up with someone else. I don't need you." Danny stuffed the notebook in his book bag. "And quit going to Rico with my business. He ratted my mom out over the necklace. He'll rat me out too."

"You're such a moron sometimes, Danny." Jo stood up and marched out of class.

"Come on." Lacey grabbed Miriam's hand.

Miriam followed without question until they got outside the classroom. "What are we doing? You think you can save the guy from himself. I saw it in your eyes this morning. You want to make the boy whole again."

"Jo is his supplier. Let's nip that in the bud." Lacey pulled Miriam along the hallway following after Jo. "I need you to be a witness. Jo can stretch the truth to fit her desires."

They watched as Jo disappeared into the girls' bathroom. Lacey followed her ready to give her a stern warning about Danny. However, what they found made her change their mind.

Jo was sitting against the concrete wall holding her knees under her chin. Her mascara was streaming down her face as she cried.

"Jo?" Lacey bent down beside her. "Are you okay?"

Jo glanced up at Lacey then to Miriam. She patted the tile bathroom floor beside her. "IF you don't think you're too good to sit on the dirty floor."

Lacey crawled to lean against the wall beside of Jo. Miriam grimaced. However, she did manage to sit on the other side of Jo.

"I know you saw me give him that stuff." Jo leaned her head back against the wall. She never bothered to dry her tears.

"Why?" Lacey leaned her elbows on her knees. "You're ruining him, Jo. I'm not going to allow that any more. Do you understand?"

"When I first started this. I didn't know it would go this far. I was doing it for him."

"For Danny?" Lacey interrupted. She shook her head. "Quit trying to make yourself look good, Jo. You were doing it for you."

"No." Jo tried to defend herself. "I was helping Danny."

"How can you say you were doing it for Danny? How can you say you were helping him? You're supplying him with drugs." Lacey was disgusted. She was going to listen to Jo thinking she would apologize for her actions. However, once again, Jo Masterson had to make herself look like the victim.

"He tried to take his life while you were away." Jo watched as Lacey's and Miriam's faces grew serious with concern. "The day after you left."

She then continued recanting the story to Lacey.

"_Danny, Danny? Any one home?" Jo glanced around the empty kitchen. That was strange. The Porsche was parked in the driveway. Jo didn't find Danny home so she made her way to the old fort. They hadn't been there for months but she hoped he was there._

_Jo made her way into the fort."Danny"_

_Jo couldn't believe the sight in front of her. Danny Desai was holding one of his arms. She'd never seen Danny cry before. But the strong boy was sobbing. Danny was covered in blood. Jo had never seen so much blood. The smell that filled the air stung her nostrils. Jo had never experienced it before. But for someone that witnesses it. It was obvious. It wasn't like when Tara was dead where there was no blood. The copper aroma filled the fort. Jo slowly made her way to Danny. Shock of the situation made her legs too heavy to lift._

_Jo stared at Danny. "What did you do, Danny?"_

_"I tried for Lacey. I tried to give the feeling of the drugs. My body hurts. My head hurts. But mostly.." Danny closed his eyes. "My heart hurts without Lacey. As long as I'm hooked, I can never be worthy of her again. Never."_

_It was Danny's grandmother that had followed Jo to the fort and saved the day. She had someone come to the house to take care of Danny. It was as if Lois knew that if Danny were caught with drugs in his system, he'd go to prison. Therefore, Lois contacted a friend who stitched Danny up. Fortunately, Danny hadn't lost a lot of blood because he didn't cut deep enough due to being high on the drugs. Nor did he cut a vein or artery. His grogginess due to being high had actually deterred him from doing any real damage to himself._

Lacey was crying with Jo now. Mariam soon followed.

Lacey swallowed as her sadness turned to anger. "What does this have to do with Danny being on drugs and you keep supplying him.?"

"He hates the nightmares. I wanted to help." Jo pushed back her hair from her face. "If he is on the drugs, he doesn't have the nightmares. He doesn't want to die."

"We got to get him off those things. " Lana closed her eyes as she pushed off the wall. She then stood up. "You're going to stay away from him."

Jo stood up as she wiped away some stray tears. Miriam sat still on the floor watching. Jo stared at Lacey defiantly. "Excuse me?"

"YOU are not allowed in Danny's life anymore." Lacey stepped up to Jo. "Do you get that?"

"You can't tell me what to do!" Jo screamed back at Lacey. "Danny loves me! He's mine!"

"No. He's no one's!" Lacey squeezed her fists together as she stepped closer to Jo. "Danny isn't a piece of property, Jo. He's a boy, who needs help. You're making it worse. I know it is his fault he's on these pills. But you're only enabling. It stops today. YOU WILL NOT BE APART OF HIS LIFE ANY MORE! Do I make myself clear?"

Jo fidgeted with her hair. "You can't boss me around especially where Danny is concerned!"

"I just did." Lacey crossed her arms trying desperately not to hit Jo. "I want so bad to slap some of that self centered entitlement out of you. But I'm a better person than that. Instead, I am telling you to stay out of Danny's life."

"Is that a warning?" Jo arrogantly snarled at Lacey.

"No. Jo, that is a promise." Lacey stepped back still fighting the urge to knock the smug look of Jo's face.

"And what can you do if I don't listen? Are you going to beat me up?" Jo felt a little nervous with Lacey towering over her.

"What?" Lacey looked at Jo shocked at her audacity. "I have more class than that. But I will tell you what I will do. Do you know why Eloise and Doug weren't prosecuted and only had to leave school for child porn?" Jo and Miriam both looked at Lacey questioningly. "Because I begged mom to let it go for me. Their expulsion was enough. I was starting a new life and didn't want it brought back up. Doug and Eloise lost their standing in school and scholarships. I felt that was a lesson learned for them. But you know what, I'd be willing to go through all that shame to sue Green Grove Police Department due to not prosecuting. The Chief of Police knew and did nothing about it. And IF you try to make Danny go down for drug use, because I know that isn't beyond you, I'll make sure that you go down for supplying those drugs. Wouldn't your dad love to find out that his daughter snuck into police files to get drug dealers names? He'd lose his job and standing in the community. You'd probably not care being the narcissist that you are but that would make you look bad too. You're dad can't protect you and I'll make sure of it. Miriam and I both saw you give Danny the drugs. You, Tyler, and your dad will all go down if Danny does. Your family will go down if you don't stay away from Danny. Like I said, that isn't a warning, Jo. That is a promise."

Jo's eyes widened. "Seriously! What about Whitney? She is just as bad to get the drugs for Danny."

"Don't worry about Danny or Whitney, Jo." Lacey breathed out. "You are no longer a concern to Danny or a part of his life. Consider yourself a non factor."

Miram stood up and dusted off her jeans. "I think that means you can leave now, Jo." Jo scurried away like a frightened pup. Miriam glanced at Lacey. "What now?"

Lacey shrugged. "We need to form a plan."

Miriam pulled out a notepad and pencil from her purse. Lacey looked at her and shook her head.

"What? Organization is the key to success." Miriam stated with sincerity.

"Fine. Step One in the detoxification of Danny Desai. Get rid of supplier. We did that." Lacey sighed.

She was going to save her lover. Yes. Lover because whether Danny knew it or not. She loved him and he loved her. The girls made it back to class. Jo was sitting up front with Rico. Lacey had definitely struck a nerve in Jo. Danny's head was lying on his desk.

The lights went out. Mrs. Colbert began pointing at slides. "This is Dali's Persistence of Memories…." Her voice began as the class took notes on each of the many slides she would show.

Lacey glanced to Miriam. She'd get her notes later. Now Danny was her main concern.

"I missed you." Lacey leaned and whispered in Danny's ear.

"Huh?"Danny turned his head sideways to look at Lacey. "I thought you'd be over me, Lace. I was sure that you realized what I was. You need better."

"Honestly, I did find better." Lacey smiled sweetly as she placed her own head on her desk. She slyly moved her desk closer to Danny's. "I found the best."

"Oh. Who?" Danny figured Lacey would find someone quickly. That must have been who she was spending the last two weeks with instead of him.

"You." Lacey winked.

"Lace." Danny could feel his breath catch in his throat.

"I wish you would kiss me." Lacey admitted. Good thing the lights were out.

"You miss our nights." Danny took his hand along Lacey's arm.

"Sure. But I miss kisses like when we got a flat tire more. I like the Danny without the drugs." Lacey inched closer until her nose was almost touching Danny's. "Can that guy kiss me?"

"Now?" Danny bit his bottom lip.

"Please." Lacey was only centimeters away from Danny's mouth.

Danny glanced around the room. Everyone was taking notes or sleeping. Therefore, he leaned in. He kissed Lacey sweetly. Just long enough to touch her lips with his own. Their noses bumped sweetly together. Then they rested their foreheads on one another's.

"Are we a couple?" Lacey giggled as she whispered. She knew without any doubt that Danny needed to feel wanted by her. She was doing just that.

"We can't tell anyone." Danny warned her. "Jo will .."

"Jo is a nonfactor, Danny." Lacey pushed Danny's hair back from his face. "Trust me."

"Really?" Danny glanced up to see Jo sitting up front. He frowned. "But Jo…"

"I don't care about Jo. I just care about you." Lacey stared into Danny's eyes. It was dark but she could still see his orbs flickering.

Danny wondered if the drugs were affecting his mind. Surely, this was a dream. Reality for him was never this good lately. Then the lights turned on. Danny jerked up to stare at Lacey. Dream over?

"Thanks for the kiss." Lacey mouthed.

It wasn't a dream. It was real. Danny wanted so much to grab her and carry her out of there. He wanted to hear her say she wanted to kiss him again.

His thoughts were interrupted by Ms. Colbert's voice. "I have to admit that I was disappointed in the first essays for this class. You remember the ones that you had to email me over Spring Break for your first grade." Ms. Colbert walked around the room passing out essays. "Let me remind the students of the assignment. You were to write an essay describing an art piece that meant something very personal to you. Most of the essays were put together with little thought. Even if well written, Ms. Masterson ."

Jo rolled her eyes when the essay was placed on her desk. She stuffed the essay into her book bag.

Ms. Colbert continued. "Some sophomores really worked hard on these. It was obvious the seniors are just wanting a grade. But none seemed to get what art appreciation was about. However, Ms. Porter did. Her essay on _Cassatt's Mother and Child_ was very well thought out. Congratulations, Ms. Porter. The only A. However…." Ms. Colbert walked to the head of the class holding only one paper in her hand. "This essay deserves to be shared as this student seems to have completely forgotten the instructions of my assignment."

Danny sunk down in his seat. His essay was the only one not handed back. He silently wished . _Please No…don't read it out loud._

Ms. Colbert cleared her throat. She began to read the essay to the class.

_Upon my extensive research trying to find an artwork that truly grabs my attention or speaks to me personally, I failed. Perhaps it was due to seeing a masterpiece beyond any that could hang on a wall in a museum. The beauty of Michelangelo's David pales in comparison to that which I admire._

_Once I was a happy son. Once a smiling child. However, most can say that has changed. I feel numb to the world around me. Art is an experience I don't dive into on a regular basis. However, when thinking of this assignment. When pouring through the internet sites to find a work that stood out , I found myself drawn to a more beautiful art. The art of real life. Thus, I describe._

_Her Raven Hair in My Face__. That sounds simple enough for a title of the art I speak of. However, this art is anything but simple._

_That vista is beyond the most breathtaking of all sights to me. As her body moves with my hands pushing and pulling at her hips, I see through her dark chocolate tendrils the dark brown slither of her eyes. The same eyes that can pierce my soul with a simple glance._

_Through the dark raven tresses, her pouting lips are formed into a perfect shape of ecstasy. The lips that form my name in a whisper entrance me._

_The drugs that course through my veins are no match for the beauty that straddles my nude form. The drugs only serve as a means to get me to her. When on the drug, I momentarily feel worthy of her existence in my life. For she is my real addiction. She is my real drug._

_Her tongue juts out to wet her perfect lips swollen from my ferocious kisses. Her skin moistens with sweat as I continue to move her beautiful body against mine. I perspire as well. With each droplet of sweat, the drug is fading from my system. Yet she is becoming more ingrained._

_I look through her strands of hair that fall against my face tingling my senses with the smell of strawberries and cream. The same strands allowing me only a peek at the pure beauty of her face._

_My eyes trail down to her shoulders. Her raven locks cling to her skin. I follow the sticky mane to her arms thus leading to her hands. Her fingers touch my chest as she pushes against me. She tries to dig her fingernails into me. She doesn't even realize she does this. But the intensity of our movements cause her to react this way._

_I close my eyes momentarily. The sight of her sometimes is too intense. But I can't will myself not to look. Her beauty is too profound that I must gaze for I know this moment in time is fleeting. My eyes absorb her as she arches her body into mine. This causes her breasts to heave towards me. The same skin that I tasted only moments earlier now have small discolorations due to my zealousness. Knowing that I made the marks on her skin only adds to my adoration of the vision that I observe._

_I concentrate on taking in every inch of her being . The same with the memories of tasting her skin,the canvas on which I admire. For I know that someday I will not be afforded the luxury of this rare and priceless art piece. Therefore, I etch her in my mind._

_I wonder if she realizes that she is too good for me. Too perfect for the creature that lays beneath her. The creature that is joined with her as one. Feeling what is most human. Love. That is the art of reality._

Mrs. Colbert arched her eyebrow as she finished. She walked up to Danny and placed his essay on his desk. "Embarrass me, Mr. Desai. And I shall embarrass you. This is not creative writing class. This is Art Appreciation. Although I can see your appreciation for your girlfriend, I personally would rather not think about one of my students and that appreciation. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Ma'am." Danny sunk down into his seat farther.

One girl glanced at Lacey. "D*#n! Hot."

Miriam shook her head in agreement mouthing her own words to Lacey only with a tease. "Lucky girl."

The boys began to laugh. The girls began to fan their faces. The bell rung saving Danny and Lacey from any further embarrassment. He didn't know what possessed him to even write such a thing. Then Lacey turned to him as the class cleared.

"I love you, too."

Then Danny remembered.


	20. Chapter 20

**_"It's probably weird to think about an addiction like it's a sentient being, but that's how it feels. Like it's something living inside you. Something you can't get rid of because killing it means killing you."_**

**_―Ellen Hopkins,Identical_**

Lacey was eager to let Danny become part of her new circle of friends. She happily pulled him along to lunch to sit at a table with Matthew, Isaac, Miriam, and Adam. She smiled sweetly as Danny glanced at them all. He lifted his hand to wave slightly when she reintroduced him to her friends.

"I'm going to get you something from the snack machine." Lacey gingerly stated as she and Miriam got ready to _w_alk away. Danny didn't bother to stop her as Lacey seemed determined to make him gain some weight. She had no idea that Danny didn't have much of an appetite. However, he'd try for her. Lacey added with a huge smile. "You boys can get to know each other better."

She leaned and gave Danny a quick peck on his lips. He smiled broadly feeling overwhelmed at Lacey's display of affection.

However, Danny's joy was short lived. Adam noticed Danny's leg bouncing up and down nervously. He hoped it was Lacey pushing Danny into making them his new friends. But for some reason, this made Adam study Danny more. Adam felt his heart drop when he noticed early symptoms of narcotic withdrawal. Was Lacey's new boyfriend hooked on drugs? He didn't seem the type. However, Adam new full well that there was never really a type when it came to doing drugs.

Adam peeked over his shoulder at Danny again. He estimated that he had to run out of the pills no less than a day ago. Danny's hands shaking made Adam want to question Danny.

"How long have you been hooked?" Adam asked out of the blue. Isaac's and Matthew's eyes widened at Adam's question. It was usually Matthew who asked or stated inappropriate things.

"Dude." Isaac knocked his brother's shoulder. "That is inappropriate and not our business."

Adam nodded to Danny as he kept his eyes staring at the boy. "It isn't like I'm not going to fill you and Matthew in of my thoughts on Danny. So I'm just asking the boy point blank. How long?"

Danny stared strangely at the boys, who seemed to be waiting on his answer. "Seriously, I don't know you enough to start this bro type conversations." He glared at Isaac before stating. "Dude."

"My biological mother was a druggie, Danny. She overdosed." Adam continued talking.

Matthew and Isaac began to get up knowing that Adam was going to share his testimony right then and there. Adam wasn't playing games with this Danny kid.

"We're going to convince the girls that you and Danny are bonding or something." Isaac said as he picked up his tray. "Listen to him, Danny."

Danny wanted to bolt from these weird people who were butting into something not their business. That was until Isaac added before Matthew and he left. "For Lacey. Listen to my brother."

"The craving is probably hitting you. I can tell Lacey knows and she thinks she can save you from yourself. But this isn't going to be an easy thing. Trust me. I watched my real mother try again and again for me. She loved me even if others doubted that love." Adam glanced up gaging Danny's reaction.

"Why are you telling me this, Adam?" Danny raked his hands through his hair nervously. Adam was right about Danny craving the drugs.

"Because I want to tell my story to you so you see that doing drugs isn't only about you. Even though you think you're only hurting yourself or most cases helping yourself, you are hurting those you love." Adam leaned up on his elbows. "So let me tell you how bad this habit of yours can get."

Danny rubbed the back of his neck. "For Lacey, I'll listen."

"Fine." Adam knew he'd not be preaching as he did at youth camp. But it was the same story only not as fiery due to the surroundings. "When I was eight years old, my mom took into a little too much of what she called _her recreational fun_. I found her with a needle in her arm and her eyes staring in eerie emptiness."

Danny knew that stare well. He saw it with Tara the day he put the rope around her throat and pulled.

"Mom had this number from a rehab place. She had done really good not shooting up for a while but she fell back. The place was called Hope's Blessings. Any way, I called the number because as an eight year old, I thought they could bring my mommy back." Adam flicked his fingers on the table fighting his emotions. "Blake Simms was a counselor there. He came and took me away from that life. I was an angry little boy. They had me placed in a home until a foster family accepted me. All I wanted was my mom back. Anna Perry volunteered as a cook there. That woman thought I was a tyrant. I guess I was. But she didn't see the little boy I was. All she saw was this angry kid that spit her food on her when she tried to get me to eat. One day, Blake made me help in the kitchen." Adam chuckled. "You talk about oil and water that was Anna and I. I hated her because she was opposite of everything my real mom was. I hated how she loved her children. I hated how she happily sang about Jesus when she cooked. I hated that she looked clean and smelled pretty. I hated her." Adam shook his head. "So when everyone cleared the kitchen but Anna and me, I wanted to show her how much I hated her being this perfect mom to her kids when my mom couldn't quit being high long enough to bath herself no less take care of me. I cussed Anna calling her every word that I knew as bad then I literally threw food at her. Do you know what she did?"

"What?" Danny raised his eyebrows figuring Anna hugged him and prayed the demon out of Adam.

"She threw food back at me." That caused both Danny and Adam to laugh. "We literally got into a food fight. Mom, well Anna then, screamed what I brat I was. She had no idea what anger I had in me for her. She didn't know of my real mom because Blake promised me he'd keep my secret when I asked him to from the staff there. She only knew that the more people helped me, the more I did something to make them hate me. I felt unworthy of the kindness. Then suddenly as we looked at each other, we stopped throwing food. Anna stood there with flour and spaghetti dripping from her hair. That was major to my mom. She hates anything happening to hair. I stood there with my arms crossed with spaghetti sauce staining my shirt and face. Then we both started laughing hysterically." Adam blinked as a tear choked him. "I don't know why or how it happened. I still can't remember who did what. But a dam broke that day. A dam of emotional anger and hurt. Somehow I was in Anna's arms in a tight hug. We both were sobbing as I let go of that anger. Mom always said she was crying because she felt right then and there that she found her first born child. She fell so deeply in love with me at that very moment that no mother's love could touch it any better. I think I felt for the first time that I was being held by a mom too. God brought me out of that life even if I was only eight. Mom said he brought her a new understanding of what it meant to be a mother too. She loved Isaac, Miriam, and Matthew as her own. She said she can't explain though the overwhelming feeling she had when she held me and we cried together. We both grieved for the woman I lost that was my real mother but rejoiced for the new bond we felt for each other. God gave us that."

Adam pulled up the sleeve to his shirt. "I got these tattoos due to covering up scars from cutting. I also had a few burn marks from having cigarettes put out on me by my mother's customers." Adam chuckled as he pointed to one tattoo. "I got this one first. It is my favorite cartoon character. Scooby Doo. Any way, I wanted to hide the pain. I was thirteen when I got most these. I thought Dad would beat the heck out of me and mom would have a coronary. That is mom and dad now not the biological ones. I never knew my dad. As you guessed it from saying costumer, my mom was a prostitute." Adam blinked again trying not to get emotional because Danny didn't need that. "No matter how hard I tried with my real mom, I couldn't save her. She could only save herself. You may think you can clean up yourself for Lacey, Danny. But you need to want to clean up for yourself." He took Danny's hand and placed it on his arm. "Feel."

Danny thought the boy was really losing it but he felt bumps and scars hidden by the tattoos. "You really have a lot of hidden scars."

"Yeah. But they're only hidden to the world." Adam released Danny's hand. "I can still feel those scars deep in myself. Every scar was pain I caused myself at ages four to eight when I saw my mom high on something. I wanted control when life was out of control. I thought cutting brought me that. If you think you are only hurting yourself, like I said, you're wrong. Lacey will hurt every time she sees you fail. She will cry and blame herself for not being good enough or loved enough to stop you. Even if you push Lacey away, she's too in love with you not to worry and care. She may move on through God's help but you will still cause her scars in her heart due to that love she has for you. No matter how much mom was out of my life, I still hurt and became bitter. Only God brought me from that. He can Lacey too but why would you want to chance scarring her so severely that it lasts her lifetime? Each scar I hid by some good memory with a tattoo. That is why my arm is so jumbled up with no theme to others but means so much to me. I wanted to hide the scars because I was tired of staring down at what I did to myself and what drugs had caused my biological mother to allow me to do to myself." Adam drew in a deep breath. "Do this for you too, Danny. Because Lacey doesn't need to have scars even hidden ones if you suddenly ,intentionally or not ,die doing these drugs."

* * *

**Note: Adam's testimony was saved for a reason. Of course, he preached at the camp but Danny needed it to understand that this was hurting others and not just himself. Adam needed to tell Danny that pushing her away wouldn't work. Lacey was too invested in Danny emotionally now.**


	21. Chapter 21

_**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS NOT A FLUFF CHAPTER AT ALL. DANNY IS DIFFERENT THAN READERS WILL LIKE AND LACEY ISN'T HERSELF EITHER DUE TO CONFUSION OF WANTING TO HELP DANNY BUT WANTING TO MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE IS FEELING TOO.**_

_**We may think there is willpower involved, but more likely... change is due to want power. Wanting the new addiction more than the old one. Wanting the new me in preference to the person I am now.**_

_**George A. Sheehan**_

Danny wiped his watery eyes as he yawned. Karen sat down next to him on a stool at the kitchen bar.

"You okay, son? You seem restless lately." Karen petted her son's shoulder trying to get his attention.

Jack and Whitney glanced up from their breakfast quickly to stare towards Danny and Karen before looking at one another. They grinned slightly before continuing their eating. The doorbell rang causing Whitney to get up to answer it.

"I'm fine." Danny jerked away from his mom's touch. He didn't mean to hurt her feelings but he didn't want touched by anyone at the moment.

Lacey came into the kitchen area after Whitney had let her in. She was there to give Danny a ride to school.

Karen stood up to allow her son and Lacey some space. She walked over to the counter by the sink. She began searching through her purse. "I swear I just had the money for my flower orders right here less than a few minutes ago. There is no way I could have lost the money in mere seconds. NO way."

Lacey glanced at Danny. She could read his facial expressions easily. She wanted to just hold him. Guilt caused his eyes to deepen with pain. He pushed his breakfast away from him. "I'm not hungry."

"Sweetie, you haven't eaten in a few days. I've noticed. Are you sick?" Karen placed her hand on Danny's forehead. "You're very clammy. You should stay home from school."

"I'll be fine." Danny headed out the door without another word.

Lacey chased after him. "Danny, wait up."

Danny leaned against the side of Lacey's car. "I took her money, Lace. I've got plenty but I have to have permission to get money. I've spent my allowance for the week. I don't want mom questioning what happened to all the money I had."

"I know." She pulled him to the side of the car so Whitney and Jack couldn't see them. It seemed they took that moment to walk out to get into Jack's vehicle. Lacey's arms encircled his waist.

"I'll pay her back. I'm not a thief." Danny closed his eyes as his arms went around Lacey's waist. He still couldn't fathom why Lacey was with him. "I need the pills."

"No. You don't." Lacey clung to Danny. "You don't."

"I had a terrible nightmare last night. I woke up craving the pills. But I didn't have any because I want to do better." Danny closed his eyes as he placed his chin on the crown of Lacey's head. "But I think I really need them."

"How can you say that? You're shaking. You're eyes are glazed over or watery most of the time." Lacey pulled Danny to look at her. "I'm enough. My love is enough."

"You love me." Danny pushed Lacey's hair behind her ear. "Dad did too. Once you face I'm not worthy of you. That I'm everything I've warned you that am. Will you stop loving me as well?"

"Never." Lacey pulled Danny into a kiss.

They hadn't been together sexually because of Lacey insisting they take things slow this time around. As well as, Danny was listless due to the drug withdrawal. Therefore, they had not been intimate since their weekend during Spring Break. He was trying so hard to stop the drugs for Lacey. But he was craving the pills more with each passing hour.

By the time lunch period rolled around, Danny craved the drug so intensely. He was willing to rob a bank to get some. He spotted a boy named Caden, Tyler's new lackey. Danny marched up to Caden and pulled him back behind the building.

"I need some pills." Danny pulled out some of the wad of money he stole from Karen.

"Rumor has it that you were getting the monkey off your back." Caden smirked.

"Rumors are not facts. Give me what this will buy." Danny thrust the money towards Caden. "They better be the real stuff. Or I'll hunt you down. You know what I mean too."

"Chill, socio. They are?" Caden pulled out a bottle of pills from his book bag. "You better be glad that Tyler is trying to get enough money to produce his new documentary. He won't be stealing these pills from his crazy aunt much longer." Caden shrugged. "When he quits this, maybe we could work out a deal or something."

Danny clutched the pills in his hand. "Yeah. Or something." Danny pushed Caden back into the wall before walking away.

Lacey walked around the school three times before facing facts that Danny Desai wasn't there. She wondered if she was feeling the withdrawal from Danny. She had read the opposite of euphoria was dysphoria. She was definitely feeling the need for him to be with her. Lacey chuckled at herself.

"Have you seen Danny?" Lacey asked Cole, who was tossing a soccerball up in the air.

"Yeah. I have." Whitney, who was standing a few feet away, spoke up. Jo was standing with her. "You giving mystep bro a ride home?"

"I did bring him." Lacey put her hand on her hips. "So have you seen him?"

"I said I did. But you might not want to give my step brother a ride. He and Caden were doing some business behind the school. Guess since he is hooked and lost his supplier. Danny found another supplier." Whitney shrugged.

"Oh No." Lacey began to frantically search for her keys in her purse.

"I'd be happy, Lacey. We were all talking. Danny is getting strung out more and more. He's known as a junkie to every one here now. Even the teachers are murmuring. Thanks to that essay where he admitted he was on drugs." Jo laughed. "I'm glad he's no longer my problem."

"I don't have time for this." Lacey found her keys and headed for her car.

"Come on, Baby. We can make things work. Danny will be out of my house in some juvie center. I'll make up to you my indiscretion. I like girls too. I'd make you happy." Whitney grabbed Lacey's arm trying to taunt her. Jo was laughing along with Whitney. Cole shook his head and walked away. Girl drama wasn't his thing.

Lacey jerked her arm free. Lacey pushed her hair behind her shoulder. She leaned in and whispered to both Whitney and Jo. "I am already happy because in the essay, I'm the girl that is on Danny while he's on drugs."

Whitney's mouth gaped open. Jo grimaced angrily. Lacey walked away briskly. She hopped in her car which threw gravel as she pulled away. She had to save Danny from himself.

Lacey slammed on the breaks as she pulled up in front of Danny's house. Karen was at the flower shop paying for her wedding flowers. Jack was apparently working at the dock. Lacey tensed up knowing Danny might be there high on drugs. She sighed as she climbed slowly out of her car..

"Danny!" Lacey called up the stairs for him. She walked up the stairs cautiously.

When she entered Danny's bedroom, he smirked. He glanced at Lacey's floral sundress that hugged her upper body nicely and flared at her hips. "Mmmm. MMMmmm. Good. Finger licking good as a matter of fact. Baby, you dress like that it makes me so happy you're mine."

Lana smiled weakly as she saw the crushed powder on Danny's dresser. "What have you taken?"

"It is nothing, Lace. All it does is make my body feel better." Danny made a lopsided grin. "Let's not talk about it. Let's just enjoy each other."

"Danny.." Lacey couldn't allow another word to escape her lips before Danny had her in his arms.

"Kiss me, Lace." Danny smirked. "Let me show you the time of your life."

Lacey started to question Danny. Instead, she found her face buried in the crook of Danny's neck as he carried her towards his bed. Danny placed her on the bed and pulled off his shirt.

Lacey's mind was muddled as Danny pulled her into a kiss. Lacey knew Danny was high but she needed to think of how to help him. She knew he'd never hurt her or force himself on her. At the same time, she didn't want to shut him out while he needed her the most.

"I need to go freshen up." Lacey could feeling her breathing becoming panted. She was facing some realities. She needed to get away from Danny in order to breathe and think.

"Hurry back." Danny leaned to kiss her but Lacey adverted his kiss. She didn't want to be tempted to give into him while he was like this.

She made her way to the bathroom. Lacey practically fell to her knees. She sat there as the door swung closed after her. She pulled herself up trying to think. Lacey's forehead began to sweat. She leaned against the bathroom door just trying to comprehend it all. Lacey felt a tear trickle down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly. Lacey tried to compose herself as thoughts of Danny being high on drugs consumed her body. Her thoughts were only interrupted by Danny knocking on the door of the bathroom.

"Don't you want me, Lace." He laughed with a cocky air about him. The drugs were making him more secure in his high state. He walked back into the bedroom. "Quit hiding. I know you want me."

Lacey slid around to look through the crack of the bathroom door. She watched as the boy she loved placed a bottle of pills in his desk. She felt an anger hit her. She realized why she was blinded to the facts that were laid out to her. LOVE. Love had blinded her. He may be hurting but he needed to quit the drugs or quit this relationship. But Danny Desai was her love! Lacey composed herself . She checked herself in the mirror as she readied to face Danny with cold hard facts. Lacey turned around as she marched out of the bathroom.

She walked up to Danny, who now had blinked a few times trying to remember what he was doing. He grabbed Lacey by the waist once he got his bearings. She gave Danny an evil glare before prying his hands away from her.

"Don't you want me, Lace?" His confidence broke momentarily. "Don't you love me because of what I am or what I did? I know you know deep down I'm just a killer nothing more. I lied to you again. I lied because I killed dad and Tara. I took both their lives. I did. Dad made me pull the rope tighter and tighter…" Danny's eyes flashed with fear as he spoke. The drugs were making him pour out truths to Lacey.

Lacey grabbed Danny by the face, kissing him hard on the mouth. She wanted to stop his high ranting before he regretted his words. She knew he'd push her completely away if that happened.

Her tongue jutted quickly into Danny's mouth daring him to deny her. Danny pulled Lacey closer as he twisted into her. Lacey turned around from Danny pushing her backside into him. She'd have to entice him to understand before she could do anything else. Therefore, Lacey twisted her backside into Danny slowly. His hands went to Lacey's hips as he gyrated against her.

Lacey leaned back pulling Danny down to meet his lips with hers. She broke from the kiss. "Is this what you want from me, Danny?"

Danny pulled her around quickly as his lips once again devoured hers. He broke the kiss. "I thought you'd never ask." Danny swooped Lacey up in his arms. "Hold on."

"I don't plan on letting go." Her words meant more than Danny knew.

Danny didn't waste time with formalities as he pushed Lacey onto the bed. Her chest hit the mattress. Her face smashed against the pillow. Danny hiked up Lacey's dress as his fingers played on her thighs.

The words of Danny plagued her thoughts. He had destroyed his life so far. He had killed Tara as he claimed he hadn't. He was taunted with what he had done to his dad as well. He was left to feel like an outcast by everyone in town due to those facts. How could anyone expect him to accept himself? When his life was full of these haunted memories? The realization of Danny's mental state was hitting her full force. He was eleven and his dad made him kill. Lacey blinked her eyes as tears soaked the pillow beneath her cheek.

Danny pushed down his pants to his knees. He leaned over Lacey. His plans were to kiss the back of Lacey''s neck as he took her. But he noticed the tears wetting the surface of the pillow.

Danny backed up. "Lace?" He swallowed as the sight of Lacey crying slowly was sobering him. "Did I hurt you?"

Lacey flipped over staring up at Danny. "I don't want you this way. I love you. But I need the real Danny."

"D*#n it! I AM THE REAL DANNY!" He pulled up his pants. "If you don't want me, there are plenty of girls that would take me for nothing else but my money. Or Jo would take me as I am."

"If you want another girl. Go! I won't stop you!" Lacey yelled as she pushed herself up to her knees.

"I want you." Danny zipped his pants angrily. "But if you don't want me. I don't have to beg."

"That's just it!" Lacey yelled with evident hurt and anger. "I do want you! I'm supposed to help you by saying NO. But I can't refuse you. Every time you want me, I fear turning you away. I fear you'll never turn back to me and you fall further away from yourself."

Lacey pulled off her dress exposing her skin. " Take me! That's what you want! Take me. You know I'm just a quick fix for you. So do it! DO IT! Make me be nothing to you. Make me be unworthy of you. I love you! Ignore that! Make me just a outlet for your problems! That's all I am to you. So just take me!" Lacey sobbed between her screaming. "I LOVE YOU! But I deserve more than this."

Danny backed into the wall. He slid down it. He buried his head in his hands. "Lacey…"

Lacey wrapped the blanket around her as she crawled off the bed. Soon she was beside him. Her fingers caressed his hair. "Danny."

He stared at Lacey. His eyes glazed with tears. The drugs no longer hiding the reality of his life. "Please help me."


	22. Chapter 22

_**There are all kinds of addicts, I guess. We all have pain. And we all look for ways to make the pain go away. " **_  
_**― Sherman Alexie, ****The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian ** _

Lacey cupped Danny's face as she whispered. "I'll help you. I'll help you." She repeated over and over.

Danny nodded as he tried to pull himself up from the floor. "I'm sorry, Lace."

"Let's not go there right now." Lacey stood up then grabbed her dress. She pulled it over her head. "I'm going home. Then tomorrow I'll be back. I think I heard your mom pull into the driveway. I don't want her to question this. Will you be okay tonight?"

"Yeah." Danny stood up and wrapped his arms around Lacey. He kissed her forehead as he squeezed her closer to him. "It's tomorrow I'll be craving a hit again."

"I'll be here tomorrow. I promise. You can go eat lunch with me at _Johnny Cakes_. We'll spend the day together. Will you try to eat tomorrow?" Lacey's eyes pleaded with Danny to try to eat. She was evidently worried about his physical state as well as his mental state.

Danny nodded that he would go and try whatever Lacey asked of him. He was feeling desperate to have her remain in his life. As Adam Perry had told him, Lacey was in love and already would be hurt no matter what at this point.

The next day Lacey was there as she ate a quick meal at J_ohnny Cakes. _ The day went on without much happening but spending time together. Lacey never insisted Danny eat anymore even though he barely ate part of a hamburger. They skipped rocks over the pond at McNally park and walked around hand in hand. It all seemed to be going well before Danny complained of stomach cramps. As the day progressed, Danny started craving the pills and his body did as well.

They drove back to Danny's home to get him to bed for rest. Danny sprinted out of Lacey's car. Lacey wearily followed behind him. She could tell he was ready to vomit. He had her pull over three times but he only had dry heaves. She found him in his bathroom leaning over the toilet. She was glad Karen, Jack and Whitney still weren't home. Luckily, there was a note on the door of the refrigerator. Jack and Whitney were gone sailing. Karen was taking care of errands. Lacey prayed they'd go out to eat or to a movie as well. Anything but come home at the moment.

She opened a cabinet and pulled out a washcloth. Lacey stooped beside Danny. She ran the washcloth through his hair. He was sweating so profusely. She didn't know what to do. How long had he been shaking like this? Was he going to live? Lacey was becoming more frightened by the moment. Could she really do anything to ease his pain?

"I'm so cold." Danny's teeth chattered as he spoke.

Lacey ran to Danny's bedroom. She grabbed the quilted blanket off the bed. She ran back to the bathroom and placed the blanket over Danny's shoulders. "Here, Danny."

Lacey's cell phone rang. She sighed as she answered. "Hi, Mom."

Lacey walked out of the bathroom. She didn't want her mom to hear Danny retching. She glanced in on Danny. She felt so helpless.

"Clara and I have an important meeting this afternoon, Sweetie. She has a competition next week and we need to figure out hotel arrangements for the girls." Judy sighed out. "Can you make sure you eat something from _Johnny Cakes._ I won't be home for dinner. Sorry, Lacey?"

"I'll take care of it." Lacey felt tears threatening. She felt her throat aching as helplessness consumed her.

"Thanks, Sweetie." Judy hesitated. "Honey…"

"Yeah." Lacey wanted the call to end. She wanted to be with Danny. Able to help or not. She wanted him to know she was there.

"I know things are different now. I know about you and Danny. I know that you're trying really hard to make him fit in. I know how much you care for that boy. More than you know." Judy exhaled. "I'm trying to accept this. "

"Mom…" Lacey felt guilt washing over her. "Danny isn't so bad if you give him a chance."

"I'll try. We'll be home later. Bye, Sweetie." Judy hung up the phone.

Lacey heard the dead silence on the phone. She turned to see Danny's shoulders shaking along with his body.

"You don't deserve this. You can do better than me." Danny clutched the side of the toilet. He knew anytime he was going to hurl. He could feel his stomach churning the whole ride home.

"Don't put yourself down. I'm tired of that. Vikram is the one that didn't deserve to have such a wonderful son." Lacey didn't care any more. The truth was the truth. Vikram messed him up. Lacey would do her best to fix what his father broke.

Danny's body began to shake uncontrollably. His shoulders arched as he retched into the toilet. Lacey didn't know what to do. She could only watch as her lover's body heaved in vomiting. She ran cold water over the washcloth and raked it across Danny's forehead. He heaved again as he squeezed the side of the toilet bowl.

Danny leaned back as his vomiting stopped momentarily. He closed his eyes. The pain was so intense in his body. He ached in every joint including his toes.

"Let me run you a warm bath." Lacey smiled weakly. "Do you feel like getting in the tub?"

Danny nodded. He took Lacey's hand. He swung it back and forth. "I love you."

Lacey noticed he adverted his eyes from looking at her. She knew he was still afraid of rejection. She crawled beside him. The smell of vomit filled the air but she ignored it.

"I don't have to prove myself. I'm here. At your lowest point, I'm here right beside you." Lacey pushed back Danny's hair from his face. She pulled his face to look at her. "I love you too."

Danny blinked. Lacey did love him. She had to. "I know. I'm so scared."

"I'm scared too. But I'll never be in so much fear that I run away from us. I've stopped running from loving you. It is time for you to stop now." Lacey pulled Danny's shirt off. It was splattered with vomit any way. Nothing sexy was happening at this point. ONLY LOVE.

After Danny finished undressing, Lacey watched as he slowly sunk into the tub. He was aching badly. She could tell. Therefore, she washed him. He only lay there unable to move. She didn't know what was coming next. He was experiencing withdrawals of the worst kind. He needed medical help if he was not on parole. But he was on parole and that meant if found out of the drug abuse, he'd go back to juvie.

Therefore, they were stuck muddling through this together.

After dressing Danny in a t-shirt and pair of gray sweatpants, Lacey helped him into bed. He was emotionally wrought as well as physically. She helped Danny lift his aching legs into the bed. She sighed as she watched him close his eyes. Maybe he could sleep. He had admitted to having insomnia the night before.

Lacey walked downstairs slowly. She hated seeing him so tired and exhausted. Lacey leaned her forehead up against the stainless steel refrigerator. She felt exhausted. The coolness of the refrigerator would work for her throbbing head. She exhaled as she pulled out her cell phone. Three missed calls.

"Hi, Miriam. Yeah, we came home early after lunch." Lacey sighed. "We're really tired."

"Are you sure you and Danny don't want to come hang with me or my brothers?" Miriam glanced at Adam sitting on the sofa in their home. Adam urged her to ask because he was worried about Danny.

"I'm sure." Lacey wasn't sure about anything but taking care of Danny and giving him as much privacy as possible from others.

"Okay. If you change your mind, let me know. We can rent some movies or play some pool in the game room." Miram frowned. She felt this was about Danny's addiction. She wanted to help any way she could. But wouldn't interfere with Lacey and Danny.

"I will. Thanks." Lacey could feel tears brimming her eyes again. "I mean that. You're a great friend to me." Lacey sniffed. "I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah. I think that about you too." Miriam hung up the phone.

Lacey turned around to retrieve a drink. She saw Danny walking into the kitchen. She watched as the kitchen began to become a mess before her eyes because of Danny frantically pulling out the drawers and rummaging through them.

"Danny!"

"Where are they! Where did you do with them!" He screamed when he stopped in front of Lacey. Then he went back searching hurriedly through the kitchen. "I can't do this. I need those pills!"

"You need to stop." Lacey ran to the counter. She pulled the pills from her book bag hiding them in her jeans pocket while Danny was distracted. She had took them from Danny's desk before heading downstairs. Danny dropped to his knees in agony. He was getting so angry and agitated at her not giving him the pills.

Lacey watched as Danny beat his fists on the floor. He stood and pushed Lacey against the refrigerator. He held her by the cheeks not hurting her but trying to frighten her.

"You took the pills. I had some in my desk." Danny's muscles jerked in his jaw. He was trying to convince Lacey to give him the pills without being irate with her. But he felt himself growing more and more agitated as he hungered for the pills. He raked his hand under his nose due to it running. "Please, Lace. Just give them to me."

"All I have to do is give you these pills." Lacey glared. "But I won't. Pick. ME OR THE DRUGS. Your choice because you can't have both!" She then pulled the bottle out in front of him.

Danny closed his eyes. His breathing was heavy. His muscles were tense and aching. His eyes were tearing up uncontrollably. Danny rammed his fist into the wall leaving a hole.

"YOU. I choose you."

Lacey pulled away from Danny. She dumped the pills down the garbage disposal. She flicked the disposal on as she leaned down worn out.

"I love you. What am I doing? I can't think anymore. I need so much help." Danny backed up until his back hit the wall.

Lacey glanced up at him. "This isn't going to be easy. We need to get you help, Danny."

"I know." Danny felt defeated. "I can't go to rehab, Lacey. I'll go to juvie or even prison if anyone finds out. What am I going to do? I want to quit but I'm not sure I can do this on my own even with your help."

Lacey nodded as she dialed the only other person that would protect Danny with her life. Danny jumped up and ran up the stairs. Lacey followed him quickly.

"Hello." Karen answered the phone. She could clearly hear Danny throwing up in in the background.

" Don't ask me questions ,Mrs. Desai. Danny needs you." Lacey brushed her fingers through Danny's hair as he sat on the tile floor of his bathroom after throwing up again.

"I'll be home." Karen eyes misted over. She feared for both the children. "Tell Danny that his mom will be there."

Lacey was happy that Karen was close enough to be there within a few minutes. She was thankful that Green Grove was such a small town.

"Son, Mom's here." Karen pushed Danny's hair back. His hair was so wet that droplets of sweat streamed down his face.

"I messed up again." Danny spoke so low. Such shame filled his words. "I stole you flower money. I stole from you."

"Shhh. It's okay." Karen assured him.

Lacey gripped tighter to Danny's shoulders. "Don't be mad. He's trying so hard." Lacey's voice cracked as she spoke. Tears spilled down her already wet cheeks.

"Danny, Sweetheart, can you stand up?" Karen spoke softly. "We need to get you to bed."

"I hurt so bad." Danny looked at his hands. Why couldn't he make them quit shaking? He just wanted to stop shaking. "I'm so cold, Mom. I've never been this cold before."

"Let's get you to your bed." Karen and Lacey helped up Danny as they placed their arms under his arms.

"He's burning up with fever. His whole body is covered in goose bumps." Lacey noted as they helped Danny into bed. "Is he safe?"

"I don't know." Karen rubbed up and down her arms vigorously. "He's on drugs. Isn't he?"

"Yes." Lacey admitted as she stared at Danny going to sleep due to exhaustion on his body. "He's trying to quit. That is why he's having withdrawal. I think that is what is happening."

"He can't go to rehab." Karen paced back and forth taking moments to glance at Danny once again to make sure he was still breathing. He looked so pale. "They report the cases of parole violations. What if he needs medical help?" She sat down on the edge of Danny's bed.

"Mrs. Desia..I mean Mrs. Taylor." Lacey sat beside her. She rubbed her boyfriend's distraught mother's back. "We can help him."

"You knew this?" Karen straightened her shoulders as she peered at the lovely young girl.

"Danny told me." Lacey admitted. "He's so wonderful. Danny is the most caring boy there ever was. He got confused how to show that care. He always thought that protecting those he loves was more important than anything even himself. "

"Vikram ruined him. Son, Mom is here." Karen pushed Danny's hair back again out of habit. His hair was so wet that droplets of sweat streamed down his face.

Lacey held her phone tightly in her hand. "I can get help."

Karen nodded as she continued to caress her son's face. "How? He can't go back to juvie, Lacey."

"I know." Lacey breathed in. She dialed her mother's number. "Mom, I need your help. I'm desperate. Can you come to the Desai house and bring your stethoscope and things like that? Danny is withdrawing from drug use. Please hurry."

Judy took a deep breath. "I'll be there, Lacey. I'll ask Mrs. Morgan if Clara can spend the night with Johanna tonight."

"Thanks, Mom." Lacey stared at Danny. She took his hand in hers.

Danny had woken up to hear Lacey call her mom. "Your mom will never let me date you now."

"Don't worry about that right now, Danny." Lacey squeezed his hand. "Let's get you better."

Judy arrived within minutes along with Blake Simms. Karen looked confused and angry so did Lacey. Judy assured them with her answer. "Blake has worked with abusers during withdrawal in a faith based clinic. I thought he could help." She stated as she took Danny's vitals. Karen and Lacey watched curiously.

Karen rubbed her arms nervously. "Danny is on probation. He can't have this reported."

"I know." Blake addressed her. "Judy filled me in on the drive over. I am not obligated to tell. Neither is Judy if no medicine is needed. We can help him withdrawal without meds if you want to agree to the terms."

"What terms?" Karen stared at Danny, who looked frightened at everyone making decisions without his input.

"He will need constant supervision. You need to have him excused from school for a week or so. It can be medical without suspicions." He then addressed Danny. "You're going to get really sick in about 24 to 30 hours, Danny. According to what Lacey told us you took, it is a strong narcotic." Blake looked towards Judy. "Judy can monitor you to make sure the drug withdrawal doesn't need medical attention. Usually, we require in faith base the drug abusers to go to church. I won't enforce that on you. However, there will be some group abuser sessions that you need to attend in the city of New York after your withdrawal symptoms hit. I'll go with you when that time comes as your councilor. No questions will be asked as it is a confidential meeting place." Bruce glanced at Karen. "If that is okay with your mother."

"That's fine." Karen glanced at Danny. "Make my boy better."

"I don't want Whitney knowing about this." Lacey spoke up. "She helped supply him. I don't trust her."

"What?" Karen's eyes grew wide. "Then Danny can't stay here. Jack won't believe his daughter was involved. Jack or Whitney don't need to know."

"That brings me to what I wanted to request. Danny, are you willing to stay in my house with me as you withdrawal?" Bruce kneeled beside Danny's bed. "It is like being in a mini rehab of sorts."

"Yeah." Danny felt his stomach cramping. "Can Lacey and Mom visit?"

"I think that would help for them to show their support. We usually don't allow family members or friends at all until you go three months through the program. But you are a different case because you won't have other users there for support. Lacey and your mom will have to be your support system."

"Blake, can I speak to you?" Judy nodded her head to the hall.

Blake followed her out. He knew what this was about. Any mother wouldn't want her daughter seeing a boy on drugs. "Before you say a word, Judy. Lacey is trusting us with this information because she loves him. He needs her support. If you make her turn her back on the boy, it will hurt his progress. You've told me all this kid has endured. Give the boy a chance to survive this world. Later, you and Lacey can deal with your terms on their relationship." He kissed Judy's hand before winking. "Remember my mother wasn't too keen on us dating at one time. We snuck and continued without approval. At least this way, you'll know what is going on."

"True." Judy laughed even if she felt completely anxious about the whole thing. "She snuck to see him before. I'm sure she wouldn't hesitate to do it again."

"Let's go try to clean up this boy's problem." Blake took Judy's hand and led her back into Danny's room. Blake once again knelt beside of Danny's bed and addressed him. "How much do you usually take of the drugs and how long have you been on them?"

Danny's eyes were half opened. He was so exhausted but knew he couldn't sleep. "A few months maybe three. I started with one or two to sleep. Then I crushed them and snorted them. Once a day." Danny didn't want to tell Judy anything but he needed help desperately. "I shot up once but I thought I was going to die. But mostly snorting them once or twice a day. I was up to around four to six pills daily."

"Get him some things packed up." Blake stood up. "We'll get him over to my house. I have a guest bedroom he can stay in for a while. This is going to be painful for him but it usually isn't life threatening."

Judy was very resourceful as she stated an emergency came up and Clara needed to stay with a parent she trusted on the trip to the next set of gymnastic meets. Clara was very excited to be going with her friends either way. Judy made sure she sent Clara off with money and other resources. Blake asked Judy if she would stay the first 30 hours with Danny as he wasn't sure how severe Danny's problem was. Lacey insisted on staying as well. Blake had set up the den for the females with the help of Anna. The pull out couch was actually very comfortable for them. Danny had the smaller room across from Blake's.

The answer of how severe Danny's problem was came in the form of panicked hallucinations from Danny when nighttime came.

"Stop them! DAD! Stop them!" Danny screamed as he held tightly to the mattress. His hands looked pained by his gripping so tightly. "Don't let them take me!"

Danny thrashed his head back on forth on the bed. His legs flayed as he kicked up and down. Luckily, his body was weakened to the point that it wasn't causing himself physical problems beyond the withdrawal symptoms. Danny was angry and shouting he even once threatened to rip out Blake's throat when he tried to make Lacey leave the guest bedroom. After that threat, Danny leaned up. Vomit filled his lap as sweat drenched his body.

"Don't let them take me." He whispered as he fell back allowing his head to hit the pillow. "I don't want to go to jail, Daddy. Please." Danny cried as he was in a delusional state from his youth. "You told me to pull the rope tighter. I don't want to, Daddy. Please don't make me do this. Make her leave, Daddy. I don't want Tara to hurt me anymore. Make her leave."

Lacey stood up. She pulled the covers off Danny and put them in a laundry basket. She raked her finger over his sweating brow. Danny looked up weakly. "Don't let them take me."

"I won't." Lacey assured him. "You're safe with me."

Judy walked in to check on Danny's vitals. "Is he still having hallucinations?"

"Yeah. He thinks they're taking him away to juvie again." Lacey picked up a can of air freshener and sprayed around the room. "It's the same fear haunting him. Guards are taking him or thinking of Tara. Either way, he is confused between reality and his worst nightmare."

Judy observed as her daughter opened the window to Danny's guest room. She watched as Danny's body thrashed back and forth in pain. Then his body would go into severe shaking.

"Don't get near him like that, Honey." Blake walked in carrying some fresh wash clothes and towels. His eye was black and purple with a bruise. "I made that mistake earlier. That boy is a lot stronger than he looks. He knocked me back hard when I was trying to hold him down from a hallucination. He was trying to run. He throws a mean punch."

Lacey nodded in agreement. "He can't exactly help it when he is shaking involuntarily. The shaking is getting worse. I hate seeing him like this. I want to help him."

Judy turned to watch as Danny's body finally quit shaking in total exhaustion. Lacey walked over and took a wet rag to Danny's face.

"It's okay. I'm here." Lacey whispered.

"Mom. Where's mom?" Danny whimpered. "Tara said she'd hurt her too if I told on her. Don't let Tara hurt my mom. Dad hurts mom enough. I don't like when he hits mom."

"You're mom's okay, Danny. She went to get you that special pie you like from _Johnny Cakes_. We can share it in our fort." Lacey sniffed back tears as she recanted the words to calm him down. She remembered when Danny was upset over something, Karen would buy him a pie to share with her and Jo. Lacey never knew why Danny was upset until now.

"I love you. I love you." Danny closed his eyes as his body began to shiver. "So cold. I'm so cold."

"I love you too." Lacey sighed as she dried Danny's forehead. She meant every word. She knew Danny did as well.

"I think you should go to school. You don't need to deal with this." Judy picked up the basket of laundry. "I'll do these. You're exhausted."

"I agree with your mom. Baby girl, you shouldn't have to contend with Danny's problem." Blake patted Lacey's arm.

"I promised him that I'd be here the whole time. I'm the one to convince him to quit the drugs." Lacey touched Danny's hand. "I'll not abandon that promise. Please don't make me."

"Fine. But get some rest." Judy headed out of the room. She hated seeing her daughter having to be so adult at the time. However, there was also a pride in the fact that Lacey was willing to put her all into helping Danny.

"Lacey. "Danny opened his heavy eyes. "Where am I? Am I in heaven? Does God allow killers like me in heaven?"

"You're here with me. You're not in heaven. God decided to let us have an angel like you here on Earth." Lacey sat in the chair beside the bed. "So beautiful."

Blake noticed Lacey stroking Danny's face with her finger. The young girl looked with purist love at the boy.

"I love you, Lacey." Danny began to shake again.

"I love you too." Lacey leaned her head in her hands. "Get better."

Danny's body continued to shake. Then Danny suddenly stiffened into a rigid form. His muscles seemed to all tighten at once. His eyes rolled back into his head. He stayed like that for almost twenty seconds. Lacey touched his arm feeling the tightness of his body. She jerked her hands back when his head beat backwards into the headboard of the bed. Over and over again Danny's head jerked back violently as his eyes seemed to fix back into their sockets. His body jerked in violent, rhythmic, convulsions. His breathing seemed labored as his head continued to jerk back coupled with the fierce convulsions reeking havoc on his body.

"MOM!" Lacey screamed in fear."I don't know what to do." She wanted to hold Danny.

"He could hurt us if we hold him." Blake reminded her. He hadn't seen his abusers get this bad as the worst were usually sent off for medical treatment. The drugs Danny was on must have been powerful substances.

"He's having a Grand mal seizure. You shouldn't touch him or try to restrain him. " Judy brought in a clean blanket. She waited until Danny's head quit jerking back before placing it on him.

"Mom, are you sure he can survive this? Are you sure we shouldn't take him to the hospital?" Lacey was staring at Danny afraid he was going to die.

"You can't. We can't. They'd want to know if he is on drugs. He'll be fine." Judy assured her as she listened to make sure Danny's heart rate was settling down.

"This is the worst of it." Blake smiled weakly at Lacey.

Lacey cried as she leaned into her hands. "Please just take care of him."

Danny's chest heaved in and out with rapid breathing. Lacey touched his wrist. Dannys pulse was at such a fast pace, Lacey was sure he'd die due to a heart attack. His skin was clammy and cold. Then it would turn sweaty and hot.

She bowed her head as she joined Blake and Judy in prayer for Danny. Lacey couldn't wait for the light at the end of the tunnel.

But she was sure of one thing. There was a light there just waiting for Danny to find it.


	23. Chapter 23

_**"The hard things in life, the things you really learn from, happen with a clear mind." **_  
_**― Caroline Knapp, Drinking: A Love Story **_

"Hey." Lacey raked her hand through Danny's sticky hair. "You feeling better?"

Danny opened one eye. "Yeah. But I feel nasty."

"You are pretty skanky." Lacey teased as she smacked playfully at his chest. "Do you feel like taking a shower?"

Danny arched up his eyebrow suggestively. "Maybe. Are you offering to help?"

"Sure." Lacey bounced out of her chair and pulled Danny up slowly by his arm. "Come on, big guy."

Danny was still sore throughout his body but he had endured the worst part of the pain the last two nights. Now, he needed a good cleansing shower. Lacey helped Danny into the bathroom then put toothpaste on his toothbrush. She turned to start the shower.

Glancing over her shoulder, Lacey ordered. "Brush your teeth then shower. I laid you out some comfortable clothes to sleep in. I'm going to clean up your room while you're showering."

"What you're not joining me?" Danny teased knowing his girlfriend wouldn't go for his suggestion anyway.

"Dream on, Danny." Lacey giggled slightly feeling a little flushed at his suggestion.

"A boy needs to dream." Danny winked before picking up his toothbrush. "Besides, I feel like I was ran over by an eighteen wheeler."

"I'll get to cleaning your room. You get to cleaning up yourself." Lacey smiled revealing her dimples before she marched off to clean up Danny's room.

Sometime after the room was cleaned, Lacey and Danny settled down to watch a movie or two. They fell asleep in each other's arms. Lacey had managed to sneak back into bed before Judy came to wake her for school. She found herself migrating to Danny's room to hold him until he fell asleep each night but left when he was sleeping. She didn't stay the whole night in his room before last night. Lacey wasn't ready to add to her mother's dislike for Danny. It wasn't actually dislike. It was more the fact that Judy thought her daughter could do much better as far as boyfriend material.

Danny was back to normal for two days now. Normal being abnormal to the charismatic teen boy known best for killing. But he wasn't as weak as before. He was sore though and admittedly still had thoughts of the drug at times. Karen had visited Danny every day but kept Jack and Whitney distant from him. She had to tell Jack where Danny was after a week of his absence from the Desai house, which seemed to be taken over gradually by the Taylors. Karen didn't suspect Jack but she did worry of Whitney's role in Danny's drug use. She kept that information from Jack.

Karen was going to allow Danny a whole month of staying with Blake Simms before he returned home. She would see him every day and Danny would be back in school as soon as he felt up to it. Things were looking up/ All that was left was Danny eating a good meal. Which, Anna Perry prided herself on making for the special occasion.

"Wow." Lacey peered over the spread on the table. "Do you plan on making Danny eat for every day he missed eating? Because this sure looks like ten days worth of food."

"I imagine he's starving." Anna placed some strawberries on the table.

Blake came up behind Judy, who was standing by the counter. He snaked his arms around her. He glanced up to see Lacey pouring some orange juice. He took the opportunity to nibble on Judy's neck.

Lacey never looked up. "I saw that."

"Lacey!" Judy reprimanded.

"What? It isn't my fault I have good peripheral vision. Nor is it my fault you both are acting like teenagers." Lacey cocked her head sideways.

"Well. In that case." Judy took the orange juice and poured a large glass. "DON'T let me catch you acting like a teenager."

Blake chuckled before reaching for a large glass of orange juice sitting on the table. Anna slapped his hand away. Blake frowned at his older sister."Hey."

"That's Danny's." Anna went on to fill Danny up a heaping plate of food. "Do you think he'd rather eat in bed?"

"No." Danny walked down the stairs. "I've seen that room way too long."

"Finally!" Judy sighed out in relief. "Our boy is up and about. You look well."

"Accept for the skinniness. Danny, that has got to go." Anna smiled broadly. "You'll love my cooking."

Lacey sat adjacent Danny as she happily watched him thank Anna for the food. "Danny, where did you get such an ugly shirt?"

"That's mine." Blake spoke up feigning hurt. "It is an ugly shirt. But it is comfortable. I need to have Karen get him some more clothes packed."

Anna walked over to get some more biscuits from the oven. Lacey and Danny didn't notice Judy watching their every move.

"You can take it off me if you don't like it." Danny winked as he whispered to Lacey.

"Danny." Lacey slapped him flirtatiously.

Judy smacked Danny up the side of the head with a rolled up newspaper. "Don't be crude."

Danny straightened up quickly in his seat. "Sorry, Ms. Judy."

Judy hated being called her maiden name. However she hated being called Mrs. Ross just as much. So she asked Danny to call her Judy. The teen boy had a difficult time with addressing an adult in such familiar terms. Therefore, he compromised with Ms. Judy. He figured the way Blake and Judy acted around one another, she would soon be called Mrs. Simms anyway.

Lacey blushed with a giggle. Danny mouthed. "Oops."

Judy wondered about the kids. What was their relationship? It couldn't be too serious. After all, they had not been in each other's circle that long again. However, she had to remind herself that sex had happened quickly for the teens. Was there more she wasn't seeing? Surely, she had read the signals wrong of love. That was too soon. But even if something was developing. Judy was sure it was just a crush for now. Yes. Even she knew she was in major denial.

Anna sat down oblivious to it all. "So, we can go shopping if you want to get out of the house this evening, ladies."

"I want to stay with Danny after school." Lacey glanced up from taking a bite of her pancake.

"I think that Anna has a good idea. Miriam can come. It will be a girls' day out. Besides, Blake said that Danny and he have to go sign up for group therapy sessions this evening." Judy took a small bite of her own breakfast.

"I guess I do need some time with Miriam." Lacey raised her eyebrow. "Are you going to be okay, Danny?".

"Sure. Enjoy your night out with the ladies." Danny took a large bite of his biscuit. "But now we have to get to school."

"Are you feeling up to going?" Judy glanced up questioningly.

"I don't want to get too far behind." Danny smiled weakly at Judy.

"I'm heading out myself." Anna had containers in her hand. "I'm going to have breakfast with my husband. See you all later." Anna left after all thanked her.

"That's great." Blake winked at Judy. "That you're feeling up to going to school, Danny. But you need to come home right after."

"We get it!" Lacey pretended to be disgusted. "Come on, Danny. The old folks want alone time."

Danny grabbed up two more biscuits before heading out the door behind Lacey.

"Hurry up, Lace." Danny groaned as Lacey took her time getting in the car.

"Why? What's the hurry?" Lacey buckled her seat belt.

"I thought we could be late." Danny turned his head sideways with a mischievous grin.

"Not happening." Lacey frowned teasingly before grinning back. "I didn't think you'd be up to it."

"What?" Danny sighed out. "I'm feeling a lot better."

"Hey, Desai." Miriam walked up to the car with her book bag securely on her shoulder. "Thanks for the ride, Lacey. Isaac wants to get his car detailed."

"Gosh! Miriam!" Danny groaned in disappointment.

"I missed you too." Miriam rubbed Danny's hair. "It is good to see you. Ms. Porter here was very protective of letting anyone see you while you were ill."

Danny smiled genuinely. "Thanks, Babe. I'd rather no one saw me like that."

"Babe? Isn't that the name of that cute little pig? Danny if you're going to use a pet name. Make it NOT a pet name." Miriam sat back as Lacey pulled from Blake's driveway

"I like Babe." Lacey pulled into the school parking lot.

"Were you seriously thinking about that all the way here?" Miriam laughed as she shoved at Danny's shoulder. "You two got it bad."

Danny walked with Lacey down the hall. Their hands were entwined as some students stared their way. The teen couple ignored them. Lacey bumped into his shoulder. "You want to make out in Colbert's class?"

Danny pulled Lacey to face him. "Serious?"

"Mmhmm." Lacey glanced up at him. His grin told her all she needed to know.

Ms. Colbert turned off the lights and began her monotone speech on each slide. It was the Baroque period. This was going to be long winded. Danny waited to make sure Lacey wasn't joking. She scooted her desk to be right next to his. NO joking. Lacey pulled him down by the neck immediately attacking Danny's mouth. Danny and Lacey kissed deeply hidden to most by the darkness of the room as well as being in the back of the room off to the side. Danny 's hand went up the back of Lacey's blouse. He pushed his hand under Lacey's bra enthusiastically.

"This isn't a movie theatre. Cut it out before you two get caught." Matthew leaned over warning his groping friends.

"Sh#*!" Danny stated when he felt Laceys bra break with a small twist of his finger. He was out of practice again and the bra was twisted strangely.

"Excuse me, Mr. Desai." Ms. Colbert turned around to face the flushed teenagers. Luckily, no one could see the evidence of their heatedness.

"Me and Lacey forgot to get admits for our absences." Danny took his foot and slyly pushed Lacey's desk away from his. "Can we go get them?"

"Lacey and I." Ms. Colbert corrected. "The correct usage is Lacey and I and MAY we go get them?"

"May Lacey and I go get our admits?" Danny was a little more like he used to be. Lacey caring so deeply about him gave him confidence in himself.

"Yes." Ms. Colbert turned back around to begin another rant on the slide.

"Give me your keys to the school newspaper, Jo." Danny leaned over and whispered to Jo as he passed. It surprised Lacey he was talking to her no less asking for keys so he and Lacey could be alone.

"No." Jo refused. "I don't want my couch contaminated."

"Jo, come on." Danny glared at her. "It isn't your couch. It is the school's."

"NO." Jo ignored him. "I'll get kicked off the paper if you two get caught."

"Fine." Danny pulled Lacey out of the room by her hand. Lacey had grabbed a book to hide her broken bra.

They marched out of class with Danny pulling Lacey along to the newspaper office. Danny easily picked the lock. He then pulled Lacey inside.

"Finally!" He said as he pulled Lacey to him.

His hands went to her bottom picking her up. He laid her on the couch.

"Are we going to here?" Lacey finally caught her breath. "Because I don't. We can't…."

"Not all the way. I want to kiss you is all. Make it a celebration of being free of drugs." Danny pushed Lacey's hair out of her beautiful face. "I just want to kiss you. Is that okay?"

"Yes." Lacey pushed her hand up Danny's shirt. "Make out."

"Make out." Danny agreed as he lowered his body on Lacey's. His hands went up her shirt as well. However, Lacey stopped him from touching her breasts even if her bra was broke.

Both kissed furiously as they ran their hands along heated skin. No clothes came off. It was like an unspoken pact. But they enjoyed becoming familiar with one another again with seducing touches.


	24. Chapter 24

_**No one sets out to be a heroin addict. It's not a lifestyle choice."**_

_**Janice: six years **__**clean**__**, Middletown, New Jersey, US**_

Danny didn't know how to feel about the first meeting with other recovering drug addicts. It was in a setting much like he had imagined it would be. Stale walls covered with posters of drug addiction being dangerous to all around. The group seemed to be familiar with one another. They all seemed to have a camaraderie despite their obvious differences in life's stature. Danny listened but didn't really speak. Fortunately for him, that wasn't required. A quick introduction was all that the session asked for. No last names were used at the meeting.

The group consisted of fifteen people. Danny couldn't remember their names as he was to nervous about introducing himself. That was odd to him as he had group session in juvenile hall. But this was different, they weren't forced to be here. It was a choice of them all to get better from their addiction.

"I'm Blake." Blake Simms smiled charmingly. "I've came with a friend as his support."

"I'm Danny." Danny smirked as usual. "I'm the friend Blake is supporting."

Danny brushed his long hair from his eyes. He chose to wear it down to hide himself due to the shame that suddenly enshrouded him. Danny knew one thing for sure. He was no better than these people in this room. Some looked like what would be considered typical of drug abusers. It was odd to him that he already had envisioned long ago what a typical drug user would look like. Blackened nails, skinny body, sunk in face and dark circled eyes was what he had in mind of a drug user. That was before he became one himself. So the typical look of a drug user was there in some of the people. Others looked like richer people or society's finest. Danny felt he may fall somewhere in the middle. Even though he was probably the wealthiest there, he didn't flaunt his wealth like a few in the room.

One girl in particular caught Danny's interest. She was a heavy set girl with darkened eyes and a broad smile. Her jewelry told she came from a wealthy upbringing. She had the attitude of pride yet deep down she seemed vacant and soulless. However, when she spoke about her life changing from drugs to sober, there was a spark that lit the room. Not one sentence came from her that didn't thank God or Jesus Christ. It didn't even offend a nonbeliever as Danny. She had her security in something. As far as Danny was concerned anything to cling to was great if it kept someone from using drugs.

"What keeps you sober, Danny?" The pudgy young girl, who only said her name was Faith, which fit her perfectly after hearing her talk, asked of him. She had finished her own tale of her addicted life style. She had told of her week and one moment of weakness where she craved the drug so bad but didn't partake.

The leader of the group session spoke up quickly to assure Danny. "You don't have to answer questions but I allow anyone to ask."

"It's fine." Danny glanced up from fiddling with his fingers. "Her name is Lacey."

* * *

Lacey found herself slowly ascending the loft stairs of an old barn. The barn was abandoned on the outskirts of the Crane Horse Stables. Danny had texted her phone and asked her to meet him there . Her eyes caught the many candles perched along the railing.

"Hi." Danny breathed out in a whispered voice. "You look breathtaking."

Danny gasped at her beautiful face surrounded by tendrils of curled hair. His eyes traveled over Lacey's simple pink shirt and gray skirt noticing her brown, toned legs. Lacey's face flushed at the sheer magnitude of his gaze.

"Wow. I love the candles." Lacey exhaled as the romantic atmosphere made her feel giddy with anticipation.

"I hoped you'd like it. At least I didn't rent out a whole restaurant showing off. " Both teens shared a slight chuckle before Danny took Lacey's hand. He led her on up the loft steps.

"Wow. Impressive." Lacey stared at Danny. She didn't mean the atmosphere. She meant him. He was dressed in a simple t-shirt that hugged his upper body. He wore light colored jeans wore out at the knees. His hair was down touching his shoulders.

He had set up the loft in a makeshift fort. An old couch, with a clean new quilt tossed over it, sat in the corner of the old cleaned out loft.

Danny turned to catch her gaze. "I miss us."

"Me too." Swinging their entwined hands, Lacey headed to the couch. "What is that?"

She pointed to two long stemmed wine glasses filled with a caramel colored liquid. She swallowed fearing it was alcohol.

"It's okay." Danny sat down beside her. "It's just cream soda. I may not have dove into alcohol as I did drugs. But I'm not ever going to get addicted to another substance like that. So I don't expect you to partake either."

Lacey smiled. She glanced over at her charming boyfriend. She didn't know why but apprehensiveness was overwhelming her body. She shyly slid off the couch onto her knees. Danny had placed a shag carpet and pillows on the floor in front of the couch. Lacey crawled to be between Danny's legs.

"I thought things would be so simple now. Easier." Danny gazed into her eyes. The drugs were out of his system. But the enormity of their love was striking them both with a fear of the realism of that love. "But they never are? Are they?"

"No. No they're not." Lacey's pad of her thumb rubbed Danny's lips. She pulled Danny from his seat to join her on the rug. With their hands joined, they backed up.

Danny timidly leaned in to kiss Lacey's lips. Both of them trembled in each other's arms. Lacey pulled from his lips. His eyes still lingered closed as he felt her lips leave his. He opened his eyes staring at her.

Lacey swallowed as she unbuttoned Danny's shirt. Her fingers nimbly undid his buttons. They'd been here before. Touching intimately. But this time was different. Without the drugs and pressures of life, they faced this was love. Both knew from this moment on, there was no turning back. No excuses of getting carried away. This was pure and innocent.

"I want to be near you but I don't want to go to intimacy so soon." Lacey didn't want to tease Danny. Therefore, she wanted to make things perfectly clear. "But I need help with that line, Danny. Sometimes, I blur it too."

Danny nodded his understanding due to Lacey's newness of whatever she was experiencing in her religious life. Danny understood that the new life of hers came with uncertainties. Until she could figure out where she was headed as far as her Christianity, he'd support her just as she has supported him with his drug abuse.

Lacey raked Danny's shirt from his body. Her fingers lingered on his chest. She stared down exploring the skin exposed to her. Lacey could feel the heartbeat inside his chest. The fast paced rhythm mimicked her own.

Danny gulped as he pushed Lacey's shirt from her own body. She had a tight tank top beneath her shirt that wasn't removed. He studied her form. Then he lowered her slowly to the rug below. He made sure to lie beside her. Then with a crashing of souls, their lips met.

There was no quick removal of clothing. Every moment was cherished as the teen lovers allowed garments to stay on. It was painstakingly slow as they made out with touching of skin that seemed not to have boundaries. Hands timidly touched each others bodies. Their skin smoldered at the touch of the fingertips against flesh.

Their eyes sparkled as they connected in a gaze. His kiss was slowly consuming her. There was no immediate use of tongue. Instead, their lips melted into soft sculptures. The pleasure of Lacey's soft rose petal lips taken by Danny's own lips was enough for mere moments. Then with a flicker of her tongue against his bottom lip, Lacey wanted more intensity. Her tongue was imploring for access to his. Danny slowly opened his mouth catching her tongue between his lips. He sucked slowly.

Lacey moaned as her body instinctively arched towards Danny's body. His hand was making his way up her thigh. His fingers relished every burning pleasurable inch of her skin. The kisses became so intense. Danny pulled away to breathe.

Not wanting to give up his lips connecting to her, Danny lips met the skin of her neck. Passion was evident. Lust, desire….need. They were feeling it all. Danny's movements were slow and strained to remain in control.

Hovering over her, Danny raked back Lacey's hair from her face. "I love you."

"I love you." Her words were hard to speak due to mind boggling emotions attacking her heart.

Danny moved slowly between Lacey's taut thighs. They still remained with clothes in tact and sex in their minds but not acted upon. Their kisses were connecting with a sweltering liberation of souls. The candles flickered against blistering beads of sweat accumulating on equally fiery skin. Danny's guttural moan filled the air. Lacey closed her eyes enjoying his sound of relinquishment. On the drugs, Danny had wanted to own her. To possess her to bend to his whims. Now, he only wanted to join her in a bond neither could explain.

Lacey clinched her eyes closed as his movement tortured her pleasurably. She only wanted more of him. But there was no more to give. Danny was giving himself to her completely. Sex didn't need to happen to give each other their hearts.

Their limbs entangled in a barrage of movement as they tried their best to keep from the intimacy both craved. Sliding of moist skin created a friction that resounded in the silence of the loft. Both thinking of a time when the convulsing of bodies. Both thinking of the moment when sheer and utter ecstasy was reached by making love. Both teens remembering the colliding of skin against skin until exhaustion overtook their bodies then a sudden crashing of euphoric pleasure shook their very cores. It was there on their minds in an explicit reminder of what they had both experienced in the past with sex dominating their relationship. However, both teens wanted more than the lust and desire this time in their relationship. They wanted the time to stand still as they relished in just being together in innocence of first love. Sexual intimacy wasn't needed at the moment to make them feel any closer.

Sneaking over her long dark lashes, a tear escaped Lacey's eyes. Danny pulled back in panted breath. He didn't ask if he hurt her. He never questioned the tear. His own tear was making its way down his face. They both knew the tear was an overflowing of emotion that couldn't be contained. A simple tear represented their union of bodies at one time. But more importantly, now the tear represented the union of their souls.


	25. Chapter 25

_**"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched-they must be felt with the heart. -Helen Keller**_

"_Lacey! Please! Don't hurt her! Let her go" Danny struggled as Vikram held him tightly by the arms pinning him to the ground. _

_His body sunk deep into the mud around him. His face was stuck in the mire below his body as he tried desperately to raise his body from the murky earth. Rain peppered them all as thunder sounded and lightning flashed. The four were near Tara's grave as Tara pulled the red jump rope around Lacey's neck. Danny could taste the mud that penetrated his mouth when Vikram pushed his knee into Danny's back. Danny's hands were held behind him as he watched in horror as Lacey begged for Danny's help. _

_Tara's gravestone revealed haunting words that had always plagued Danny since the day he read them in a newspaper clipping. The clipping was a report of Danny's conviction thus Tara's death__. _

_**There is nothing in the world so wonderful as to love and be loved; there is nothing so devastating as love lost.**_

"_Help me, Danny." Lacey's voice was weak as she stuck out her hands reaching for Danny._

"_PLEASE Don't do this to her! I'm so sorry, Tara! I'm sorry." Danny's eyes filled with tears. His voice cracked as he struggled to no avail. "Don't hurt her. I'll do whatever you want just don't hurt Lacey."_

"_Why are you crying, Son? This will only make you stronger. " Vikram chortled mischievously as he leaned to whisper in his son's ear. "Remember how Tara beat the crap out of you many times. She deserved to die. Tara was going to send me to prison. She was going to ruin our family. She was going to ruin my marriage and Tess's marriage. Jo wouldn't like that. Jo is so fragile. She would break."_

"_I don't care." Danny felt tears stinging his cheeks. "I'll take it back. I'll take it all back if you don't hurt her. Don't hurt Lacey!"_

"_Poor little Danny." Tara's voice caused Danny's pleading to halt momentarily. "You always were looking for happiness in your life. But you can't have it. Your father and I won't let that happen."_

"_You're forgetting, dear sister of mine." Vikram's voice was taunting his son. "She makes him happy."_

"_Please!" Danny struggled making no headway to get to Lacey. "I love her!"_

"_Aww. That is so sweet. Did you hear, Tara? Danny loves Lacey." Vikram chuckled again as he looked at Tara then he glanced at Lacey. "He loves you. Is it worth it? Is it worthy loving such an unworthy soul, Lacey? Is he worth dying for?"_

_Tara stared at Danny as she pulled the rope tighter around Lacey's neck. Danny heard Lacey gurgle as she strained to breathe. "Well, look here, Vik. She can't even answer your question. Too bad. She was such a pretty thing too."_

_Lacey's eyes stared begging Danny as she gasped her last breath. Blood poured from her nose and mouth as her eyes lost any sign of life. _

_Danny screamed out in a pained voice when Lacey's eyes became vacant. It was the same vacancy he saw in Tara's eyes when he was eleven. "NO!"_

_Vikram and Tara threw back their heads as they laughed wickedly._

Sweat had accumulated on Danny's forehead. He was breathing rapidly due the intensity of the dream. He felt for the light beside the bed he was sleeping in. It didn't help that he woke up in a strange environment rather than home. He had been two weeks at Blake Simms' house. However, it felt strange when waking up from a haunting nightmare.

Danny's nerves were getting the best of him due to this dream. He saw his beautiful Lacey being choked to death by Tara while his dad held him at bay. In the dream, Danny was crying and screaming Lacey's name while both Tara and Vikram laughed and mocked him. It was his worst nightmare to date.

Danny felt his stomach twist and turn causing him to jump from his bed. He ran to the trash can in the corner of the room where he emptied the contents of his stomach. Then he went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wet his face with water. Blake had been awakened by Danny's sudden rush to the bathroom.

Blake waited until he saw Danny come out of the bathroom and settle back into the bedroom. He lightly knocked on Danny's door.

"Are you okay, Danny?" He asked as he peered in the open door.

Danny smiled weakly as he took in a shattered breath. "Nightmare." Danny felt the one word was enough.

Blake nodded and approached Danny cautiously not wanting to overstep his boundaries with the sixteen year old. "The reason you started on drugs was the nightmares. Wasn't it?"

"Yes." Danny admitted as he motioned Blake to sit in the antique den chair adjacent his bed. Danny wasn't sure why he needed Blake to be there. Danny felt like a toddler who was afraid of the dark.

Blake sat down slowly in the chair then glanced at Danny. His face showed concern for the sixteen year old boy. Danny swallowed at seeing such a kind look from a man he barely knew.

"I dreamed that my Dad and Tara killed Lacey." Danny ran his hand through his sweaty hair. "This was the worst yet. I saw Lacey die."

"It was only a dream." Blake assured him as he crossed his legs to get comfortable. "Do you want to call her to hear her voice?"

Danny glanced at the clock sitting on the nightstand. It was 2:43 A.M. He sighed out. "No. She's probably sleeping and I don't want to push it with her mom."

Blake shook his head in understanding. "Why do you think you dreamed that? If you don't mind me asking?"

Danny closed his eyes as his thought about it. Danny opened his eyes then glanced at Blake then down at his hands. His heart raced at that simple question.

He gulped before stating. "Because I love Lacey. It is all I have left to take from me. They want to take my all."

"I see." Blake stated simply because he was afraid to say too much causing Danny to stop talking. Blake felt the boy needed to talk.

"No one sees." Danny whispered as he glanced at Blake briefly. "No one knows."

"Oh." Once again, Blake didn't interrupt with a long monologue. He prayed silently for God to give him the right words of comfort for this young boy. Sometimes the right words were silent in nature.

Danny bit his bottom lip as he swallowed trying to gain his bearings. "Tara burnt me with a cigarette once. She didn't even smoke. I should've known what she was up to if she didn't smoke. It was the first time she hurt me. I was eight. I told Dad." Danny's eyebrows furrowed together as he continued. "Dad said I needed to be more on my toes if I were a Desai. I needed to watch for things out of place. Tara was just trying to keep me alert for danger. She was helping me. Mom questioned the burn mark and dad said he had got a new Cuban cigar from a friend. He had caught me smoking it. I was sneaking and burnt myself trying to put it out." Danny's Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed again. "Mom grounded me for a week."

Blake turned in the chair slightly trying to keep from speaking. He had to fight not to curse Vikram and Tara.

"I never told mom after that when Tara hurt me." Danny looked up at Blake trying to gage his reaction. He laughed when he noticed Blake had on a pair of Superman sleep pants. "Nice pants."

"Yeah." Blake rubbed his knees. "My wife bought these for me. She said she wanted me to be comfortable for all the hours I sat in this very chair watching her in her sickness. She also said I was her hero."

"It must be really hard losing the woman you love." Danny allowed his mind to flitter back to the dream and how bad it hurt to see Lacey die.

"It is." Blake sighed out but smiled even if the thoughts of his wife's death hurt. "But I knew she had cancer when I married her."

"You did?" Danny sat up straighter. "Knowing she was dying."

"Sure." Blake said as if it was a no brainer to do that. "I wanted to be happy with her as long as we had. I had lost one woman I loved by not taking a chance, I wasn't going to lose another."

"Judy?" Danny asked as he leaned against the headboard of his bed.

"Yes. I loved Judy. I always have. I never got over her completely. My wife knew that but we had our own love to last for the moments we had. It was worth the pain for the moments of happiness."

Danny remembered Lacey's words of 'Being worth it' during his party a few months back. He wondered if Lacey still thought that now.

"I killed Tara." Danny blurted out. "I killed her. It wasn't an accident like killing Dad was. I took the rope and I pulled. She had hurt me. She was trying to ruin my life, dad's life, mom's life and Jo's life. I think I may have told Lacey the truth when I was high. But it could be a dream. But I lied to make Jo and Lacey get over the nightmare of that day. I wanted the nightmare to stop for them even if I couldn't make it stop for me. Dad told me to pull the rope and I did. I did." Danny peered up at Blake. He was expecting repulsion. Danny saw none. "So I'm not worthy of Lacey. Tara and my dad will forever remind me of why I can't have happiness. They will always try to keep that from me just like when I was a child."

Blake stared at Danny trying to think of words to help. He prayed again for guidance. He felt Danny was done talking. "If I were you're dad, I'd protect you with my life, Danny. I wouldn't expect you to protect me if I was blessed enough to have you as a son." Blake stood up and walked to the door. He stared at Danny before starting to leave. "They're dead, Danny. They can't take anymore from you than you are willing to give."

Blake started to pull the door closed. Danny spoke up. "Can you leave the door open and the hall light on?"

Blake nodded as he pushed Danny's door open wider. Danny turned off his light and slid down in his bed. Then he did something he wasn't even sure why he did. He prayed to a God that he didn't believe in.

"Please, God. If there is a you, let me not have another nightmare tonight. Please."


End file.
